Beautiful Disaster
by Erika Hearken
Summary: I never felt alive; not really. I always felt like there was just a little something missing from me. Then I met him. He changed me somehow. He's danger and excitement; something I shouldn't want and shouldn't have. I hate him for making me like this; yet I can't stay away. My life is now a long list of deadly encounters, danger, and racy moments. (Pairing to be Revealed in Story)
1. Too Easy to Fall

**E.H.**

_Welcome to Beautiful Disaster. Before we get too far ahead, a quick warning to all readers. This fiction is meant to be a rather emotional one; it will probably have some fairly dark themes and is indeed rated M for a very good reason. This story came to me recently and it was write or suffer with it in my head for a long time. This is the opening chapter, so it will be short._

_Disclaimer: I do not own the original plotline of Yu Yu Hakusho nor any of its characters therein. I do own my own character and the situations. Thank you. _

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**Too Easy to Fall**

The sun rose and I with it. A brief glance to my left was instant regret as I slid from between the sheets. It was always like this. I slid my dress back onto my skin and zipped it quietly yet quickly. My fingers ran through my tangles, giving the wavy hair an appearance of casual sexiness. Hooking the heels on my fingers, I padded to the door as silently as I could. My hand touched the nob, beginning to turn it slowly.

"Will you not even say goodbye?"

I froze and grimaced, turning slowly back to confront those eyes. As I faced him, I felt my pulse speed up at the sight of his half-naked front. He held his head while lying on his side, facing me. Such an angelic façade, yet I knew what lied beneath. I knew the monster that could rise to the surface and take over in only a brief moment. What could I say? An all knowing smirk spread over his luscious lips as he chuckled.

"Come here, Nariko."

My feet moved without my permission. Bastard. He knew how to control me with a few words and I would come running; always. Like a puppet being played with on strings; I crawled back onto the bed. His hands were in my hair; his lips on mine. He commanded me; ruled me with touch and sensations. I rolled with him as my dress was removed with expert haste. I never bothered with underwear anymore. Why place useless fabric on my body when he would merely own me in a few hours? Why place more between us when he could always bridge that gap in moments? I moaned and pressed into him as he touched my most intimate place. Writhing, I screamed when he pressed inside me. He set such a frantic, almost painfully rough pace. I had no choice but to give up. Our hips collided repeatedly in an angry crescendo until I couldn't breathe. My body surrendered fully as he overrode my senses with such intense, raw pleasure. I couldn't scream if I wanted to. I had no air in my lungs _to_ expel as my body pulsated in white-hot throb after throb. An intense explosion of heat spread inside me. My chest rose and fell constantly as I tried to roll over and away from him. I needed to breathe; I needed to escape. I needed to think; I needed more. I sat up and crushed my lips on his. He responded instantly, pulling me tightly to him. He rolled us until he was under me and drove his hips up into mine. I purred and dragged my nails down his chest slowly. His eyes closed as his head fell back into the pillows. Oh, kami…he felt so good. He always felt so perfect in me. His hands on my hips, urging me to ride him fast and hard, were all the encouragement I needed. I threw my head back and let my own inner beast loose. Sounds that I couldn't have made under normal circumstances clawed free of me as we used one another's body to reach that carnal place. I couldn't think about anything but the feelings he provoked inside me. When I came again, it was forceful and made my soul bleed. I still moved as he continued to thrust until he exploded inside me again. I heard my name roll off his tongue making my spine shudder. I fell limply to the side of him as I gulped air. He rolled to his side after he finally regained his breath. His fingertips dragged lazy circles over my flesh as he stared at my face. I didn't dare look at him. I couldn't. His chuckle made me instantly ready again. His hand settled on my cheek and turned my head to look into his eyes. My heart cried in rage as he made me do what I couldn't; what I shouldn't. It wasn't fair. The tenderness he showed me was unfair. I wanted to hit him. I rose my hand to hurt him only to lay it on his face with the same tenderness he touched me.

"I hate you." I began to sob. He pulled me to his chest and cradled me. He never said anything as he held me. If I'd never met him, I'd never have known this. If I'd never known him, I'd never have lived fully. Damn it all to hell.

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_Please leave a review as you leave! They are appreciated and help me know how I'm doing or if the story is an idea to continue or scrap! Thanks for reading!_

**_Erika Hearken_**


	2. Summer Plans

**Summer Plans**

"Nariko!" I looked up above my book and stared confused into my friend's face. She looked angry and ready to cry. I blinked a few times before I set my book down.

"What did he do this time?" I asked patiently as the brunette sat down across from me with an angry huff.

"He just got back from his stupid trip and then ran off on another! We were in the middle of…you know…" Her face turned crimson as tears began to fall. "I thought we were _finally_ going to make it happen and then he got the call!"

"Have you thought to tell him how you feel about this?"

She cried and buried her face in her hands. "I can't tell him _not_ to go. It's…it's complicated!"

As it always was. I never understood what could be so complicated. Then again, I wasn't part of the world she had to deal with; not yet. I had no idea what she was really going through. That is how I was always able to utter the next sentence to her. "If he really loves you, he'll make time for you."

She shook her head and looked away. "I wish…" She whispered to the wind as it blew over the grass in the courtyard. I watched as she pulled herself together. It was really amazing to watch. One moment, she was broken and dying inside; the next she was smiling and strong as a deep rooted oak tree. "Enough about my problems. How is your mother?"

"She is doing all right. They think her hallucinations are going down." I shrugged, trying not to think about it too much. Thinking about it meant feeling about it. That was something I couldn't do. I couldn't afford to feel the pain; the fear.

"That's good!" She exclaimed.

"As good as we can hope at this point." I agreed half-heartedly.

"Did Tatsuki-san from Nakajima Boys' Academy ask you out?" She asked, eyes shining with curiosity.

"Yes."

"And?"

"Truly, Keiko?" I asked incredulously.

"Oh come on! He gets good scores, he seems nice enough…what's the problem?"

"If I asked you the same questions about Urameshi-san?"

She snorted. "He wouldn't fit under the 'good scores' mark."

I smiled and rolled my eyes playfully. She giggled back at me. "No. I didn't accept. I have no interest in Tatsuki-san."

"Okay, okay!" Keiko held up her hands in defeat. "Someday, Nariko…you should let yourself date."

"Who has the time? I have enough to worry over in my own life; why should I place another person's worried atop my own?" I carefully slid my bookmark into place. "Did you still want to go to the shopping mall after class today?"

Keiko nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yes! I still do! I can't believe we have a month left until graduation."

"It does feel like it came on rather fast."

"What do you plan to do for the summer?"

"I have little plans. I do have orientation at Tokyo U. to attend. What about you?"

"I have an orientation at Tokyo U. too! But until then, I'm going to a friend's temple for the summer. It's in the mountains and has a private beach."

"A private beach? In Japan?" I turned to her surprised. She nodded. "That is certainly a shock. Your friend must be highly wealthy."

"She was." Keiko said softly with a touch of sadness. "But she left it all to us. Hey! Why don't you come with me to the temple? I mean, beats being alone for the summer."

I considered it. My father wouldn't be back from the states for the better part of the summer and wouldn't care either way. With my mother in her 'home', I really would be alone all summer. I nodded after a few minutes. "That would be nice."

"Great! We can get new swimming suits for the summer tonight too!"

"All right." The bell rang, signaling our lunch period was over. Keiko and I stood, brushing the dirt and grit from our uniforms.

"It's a plan! I'll see you after club, okay?"

"Okay." I plucked my lunch bag from the grass and followed her across the courtyard to the building. We parted way in the hallway for our respective classes.

**…..**

The day of our High School graduation came upon fast. Keiko stood near two of her friends; I didn't really like them. They were a bit too high maintenance and loud for my taste. However, Keiko was probably one of the few people in the entire school that I could easily get along with. She always listened to me when I needed a friend and I returned the favor. Though I never understood her draw to Urameshi-san at the time, I was always careful not to bad-mouth the man Keiko obviously loved. Her two friends had no such inclinations.

The ceremony was fairly quick, all things considered. We all walked across a stage, received our diplomas and some small words of congratulations. Two of our class, Keiko being one, gave speeches about the future. Afterwards, we all reconvened with old friends and family. I watched as parents hugged and gloated over their children. I ignored the jab of stinging jealousy as I noted how many parents were there. Keiko's parents practically glowed as they told her how happy and proud they were of her. I smiled at the sight. No matter how bitter my life seemed at times, seeing Keiko smile always made me feel better. Miyu, one of our classmates, walked over to me. I knew it was coming before she opened her mouth; she'd always hated me for some unknown reason.

"Hey, Utsuda-san! Congrats on graduation!" She feigned an innocent look around. I ignored the glare from Keiko as she overheard Miyu's loud voice.

"Yes, and same to you." I replied politely.

"Where are your parents?" She asked smoothly with a glimmer of malice in her eyes. I hid the flinch well, in my opinion, and stomped down the swell of emotion her seemingly innocuous question brought forth. My lips tightened as I smiled thinly.

"My mother is still in her care home and my father couldn't get a flight overseas in time."

"Oh? How sad! To be all alone on graduation day! Too bad your mom couldn't stop seeing things that don't exist long enough to say congratulations! Well, at least I can. So congrats!" She smiled smugly at me.

I bit back the sting of tears. Keiko was halfway to us when I felt a warm, energy-filled presence behind me. Miyu's eyes widened considerably as she eyed whoever was behind me. I turned just enough to look over my shoulder. I had to look up and met the greenest gaze I'd ever seen. Keiko's voice filled the air next to me so suddenly that I actually jumped.

"Miyu, why don't you go pester someone else?" Keiko snarled. I turned and looked at the situation before me. I was slightly surprised to see Keiko's parents walking away and leaving already.

"Pestering?" Miyu turned on Keiko and planted her hands on her hips, mirroring the stance Keiko already had adopted. "Congratulating someone isn't 'pestering' last I heard!"

"You're being outright vindictive and you know it!"

"How am I being vindictive? You're so full of yourself, Keiko!"

"Now, I dunno 'bout you but…I'd take that back real fast. Ya see, Keiko here has a mean slap and I ain't opposed to recording her bitch slapping you into the ground." I looked over to the only guy I could think of who talked like that. My suspicions were confirmed as Urameshi-san stood behind Keiko with a dark smirk and arms crossed over his chest. Miyu stepped back a few steps and paled a bit. She bumped into a tall man that made me look up even higher than I'd had to in order to see green-eyes. He squinted down at her through small, dark brown eyes.

"I think you owe 'er an apology. That ain't lady-like to be so cruel ta people!" He harrumphed. A woman with bright, aquamarine colored hair stepped out from behind him with a sad look on her face. She said nothing but it was obvious she wasn't happy with Miyu either. Two more women came into sight. One was tall with brunette hair almost the same shade as Keiko's who was smoking and looking rather bored while the other had bubble-gum blue hair and peony pink eyes. _Contacts,_ I told myself.

Miyu flashed a glare at me as if this were all my fault. As soon as she had done that, her face drained of all color and she stumbled farther away from me. I didn't want to look behind me at green-eyes. Judging by the energy he was giving off; the look being given couldn't have been kind or friendly. In fact, his energy was giving me a migraine. I hadn't had one this bad in years. Miyu's hands flew up in a surrender motion.

"I-I'm sorry! I-I shouldn't have said what I did and I'm leaving now!" Miyu darted past the short woman and out of sight. Keiko rushed over to me and looked at me carefully.

"Nariko, are you okay?"

I clamped down the emotions and forced a smile. "Keiko, I'm just fine. You don't have to worry over me so much. I knew what she was up to before she reached me."

"It still was cruel!" Keiko fumed, glaring in the direction Miyu fled.

Urameshi-san stepped up and chuckled. "Yeah, but she tucked tail and ran like the scared little bitch she is."

Keiko nodded. She paused and then looked sheepish. "Oh! Nariko, these are my friends. Starting from Yusuke, who you know, to the right is Botan, Shizuru, Kuwabara, Yukina, and behind you is Suuichi."

Botan smiled largely. "It's lovely to meet you, Nariko! We've heard a lot about you!"

"Not all bad." Shizuru smirked, taking a drag from her cigarette.

Kuwabara, the really tall one, laughed goofily. "Yeah! Keiko says you're really neato!"

The short woman, Yukina, bowed politely. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Nariko-san."

"Agreed. Forgive my rudeness for not introducing myself." Green-eyes, now named Suuichi, stepped out from behind me with his hand out to me in greeting. I took his hand. Instantly, I could taste coppery liquid over my tongue; the smell of exhilaration mixed with the fresh brush of greenery over my limbs and back made my mind feel numb. Air rushed over me in pluming currents as I careened over a painful threshold only to crash painfully back into myself. I blinked and I was back before Suuichi and Keiko's friends. I briefly wondered how long I had stared. He eyed me keenly with sharp intelligent. "Minamino, Suuichi."

"Utsuda, Nariko." I replied, dipping my head in greeting. I released his hand and stepped back.

"So, Keiko's told me you'll be spendin' the summer with us at the temple." Yusuke grinned.

"Yes, if that is all right with you."

"Yeah. S'no trouble at all."

"Well? What are we waiting for? Let's go party." Shizuru turned and started to walk away. Keiko turned to me as some of her friends began to follow the tall brunette.

"Why don't you join us?"

I opened my mouth to decline; I didn't want to crash her special graduation party.

"Why the hell not?" Yusuke lightly punched my shoulder. "We don't mind. The more the merrier."

"I suppose I could…" I answered sheepishly, following them.

**…..**

I sat beside the red-haired Suuichi in the large restaurant part of the special club. Suuichi was a very intriguing conversationalist. When the conversation drew to something I didn't understand or know anything about, he'd spark up a topic for me. It was really sweet of him. I laughed along with him. However, all the while she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something seriously off about him. Something deep inside him was…untamed and wild. I drank my juice mixture and glanced out at the dance floor. A few couples were gyrating and moving to the loud beat. My eyes followed the movements closely. Sometimes, I could almost imagine them as one being that moved with an odd synchronicity that was both grotesque and mesmerizing.

"Would you care to dance?" I didn't have time to hide the shiver that ran down my spine as he smooth voice filled my ear over the music. I fought the furious blush with a vengeance as I turned and looked into those green eyes. They were innocent on the surface yet beneath, I could see glimpses of something that was anything but.

"I'm not a very good dancer." My mouth was so dry. How did it get so dry? I just sipped some juice.

He smiled patiently. "It can't truly be too difficult. After all, all one has to do is sway to the beat."

"True. But I'd rather not look like a cat in heat." I blurted before I could think. His smirk made me pause.

Yusuke's belly-deep laugh echoed across the table. "That's one hell of a way to put it!"

My cheeks burned as I looked into my drink. I took another sip and ignored the way my stomach felt funny and strange. I couldn't wait to get home and take a long shower. Lucky for me, they were talking about karaoke. My apartment wasn't too far from the nearest karaoke place. We paid our tabs and headed for karaoke. As we neared it, I looked at Keiko.

"I should really get home. I need to check on my mother…"

Keiko looked disappointed but she nodded in understanding. "Yeah, sure no problem. Let me ask Yusuke if he'll walk you home with me."

"There's no need for that, Keiko. Allow me." Suuichi stated and moved over to us.

Keiko smiled broadly. "Oh! Thank you, Suuichi!"

"It's no trouble. I should also retire home in order to sleep for work tomorrow." He hugged Keiko lightly. "Congratulations, Keiko."

"Thanks, Suuichi!" She smiled and hugged him back. She turned to me and gave me a large hug too. "See you this weekend! The train's due to leave around ten on Friday. Do you want me to pick you up or do you want to meet somewhere?"

I released the hug. "The coffee house near school sounds good."

"Okay! See you Friday morning around nine then."

"See you then." I watched the group enter the building. I turned to Suuichi. "You really don't have to walk me home."

"Yes, I do. It's dark now. That's no time for a young lady to walk home alone in the city."

I sighed. "All right." I headed off in the direction of my apartment. The five block walk was mostly in silence. I stopped next to the playground across the street from my apartment building. "It's that one over there. I can walk the rest of the way from here."

Suuichi didn't look pleased but he didn't argue. He nodded stiffly. I waved awkwardly to him and started across the street. I trudged up the stairs quietly. I headed to my door and unlocked it. As I went to open it, a frigid wave went over me making me freeze. I used my peripherals and saw a shadowed figure off to my left. It moved amorphously; sliding closer to me. I swallowed the fear that rushed over me. I stepped inside my apartment and turned to close the door quickly. As my door closed, I could have sworn I saw Suuichi dart across the street. I latched it and locked it quickly. Flicking on all the lights in the apartment, I moved further inside. Shedding my shoes, I dropped my bag and diploma on the floor without a care. I wasn't hungry so I bypassed the kitchen and went straight to the bathroom. I stripped down to my bare flesh and threw the hot water on. As soon as steam rolled from the curtains, I stepped under the scalding water. The heat reddened my skin. I scrubbed myself clean trying to forget the strange feelings I'd gotten from Suuichi and the creepy shadow outside my front door. I stood under the water until it became too cold to stand there. I turned the water off and dried myself off. I didn't bother dressing and threw myself into my bed. Before I could start counting sheep, I was dead to the world.

**…..**

I met Keiko for coffee on Friday. We grabbed a quick breakfast of pastries and lattes before hopping a bus for the train station. We barely boarded the train on time thanks to the bus driver not noticing we'd pulled the chord for our stop. We'd had to jog three blocks to the station and had managed to get there in just enough time to literally leap inside the closing doors. Never before had I felt so much like a super spy. Except, in the movies, they got to slide through in a cool way with guns blazing. I had to make sure my pony tail didn't get stuck between the doors.

Even with all the drama of nearly missing the train, the ride was actually really beautiful. Once we left the city area, green trees sprung up instantly. Every here and there was a small train station or town in between the large cities. After we passed through the next two cities, the countryside opened up. Keiko prattled on about this that and the other thing off and on. For the most part, she read or listened to music. I couldn't have been more content to stare at the green that rushed beside us.

"There's a hot spring not too far from the temple." Keiko piped up, drawing my attention from the window.

"Really?"

"Yup!" Her brown eyes glittered with excitement. "It's really big too!"

"Sounds like this will be a really great vacation."

"Oh, you bet." She grinned. "Yusuke and the boys were able to take off a few days at a time over the summer. Well, okay, Suuichi _technically_ is still working while at the temple. He brings his work with him. But other than that, we should be able to do fireworks and all that fun stuff at the temple!"

"Won't the authorities get a little touchy over such things?"

Her eyes turned a little wicked. "Not where we're going. Let's just say Genkai's private land is _really_ vast. They couldn't see or hear a bomb if we decided to blow something up."

I couldn't help but smile at the less innocent Keiko. The Keiko in school was all propriety and order. The Keiko I knew outside of school had a bit of a rebel in her. She was still a good-girl and sweet, but she could really let loose and enjoy herself too. I enjoyed this Keiko most. We settled back for the rest of the train ride. It wasn't too much longer until we reached our stop. We disembarked the train and hailed a cab. I hadn't really believed her too much about how vast the land was until we came to a stop in front of a set of stairs that I would have sworn touched the sky. Keiko paid the cabby and we gathered our bags. I stared up at the staircase to heaven.

"Please tell me we get to take a few breaks on our way up?"

Keiko laughed and started up the stairs. I bit back a groan and followed her. By the time we reached the top, I was sweating and breathing heavy. I hadn't even packed half of what Keiko had. She was breathing a little hard, but not nearly as badly as I. For that, I envied her. She must have been in really good shape to take on those stairs without too many issues. She smiled at me and led the way into the temple grounds. I managed to regain my breathing to a semi-normal rhythm. My jaw nearly dropped as we stepped into the courtyard. The temple was huge and the surrounding area just as vast.

"How many acres?"

"Well…I don't know the exact amount, but I'd say at least two hundred to three hundred. Maybe more."

"Damn." I muttered as she nodded for us to go inside.

She shouldered a door open. "Yusuke! We're here!" She called into the open doorway. The door opened wider a few moments later and Yusuke began to take her bags.

"Took ya long enough!" He teased.

"Hey! We almost missed the train! It's not our fault."

"Yeah, yeah." He grinned and looked over at me. "Yo! Nariko! Welcome! How'd you like the staircase from hell?"

I snorted. "They were really wonderful. I wanted to sweat off any liquid I've ever downed."

He laughed loudly and motioned for us to follow him. I stepped into a cool hallway and nearly collapsed to the floor just to hug the cold wooden floor. I ignored the urge and followed the dark-haired man to a room. He opened the door and nodded to it. "Here's your room for your time here, Nariko. Feel free to make yourself at home."

"Thanks." I stepped into it and couldn't move. The room was larger than my small studio apartment. The walk in closet on the left side of the room was open and welcoming. The tatami mat on the floor was spread out nicely while a modern version of a futon mattress was draped with bedding on the right side of the room. Two small dressers sat on either side of the closet while beautiful paintings of flowers and landscapes hung on the walls. On the farthest side of the room were sliding rice-paper doors. I moved over to them, depositing my bag on the bed. I slid the doors open and felt my jaw finally fall open. A garden unlike any I'd ever seen before burst to life before my eyes. There was a wooden walkway leading out. A pond sat in the middle of the garden. Far across the garden, huge trees stood proudly over the garden. I raised a hand to cover my mouth. It was like a movie scene.

"Like your room?" Keiko asked with a smile in her voice from behind me. I turned around and nodded numbly.

"V-very much."

"Told you she'd love this room." Keiko grinned proudly. Yusuke chuckled.

"Sure as hell did. She looks 'bout to cry."

Keiko giggled. "Why don't you get settled in? Feel free to wander the property. But I wouldn't go into the woods without someone. There are some pretty big animals out there."

I wasn't sure why, but I could have sworn she and Yusuke looked nervous as she said that. I nodded my understanding and watched them leave. I turned back and began to unpack my bags. I settled my neatly folded clothing into the drawers in the dressers. I took out a few dresses and hung them in the closet and placed my three pairs of shoes I'd brought with me other than the tennis shoes I'd worn to the temple which were still in the entry. As I finished up, I felt energy race up and down my spine. I turned toward the garden and blinked. Suuichi leaned in the doorway with the sun behind him, shading his face. I stood slowly and turned to face him. Even though I couldn't see his face well, I could tell he was smiling.

"May I?" He asked in that velveteen voice that made my legs tingle.

"Yes." I motioned for him to come in. He stepped inside and looked around the room.

"I see they gave you the garden room."

"Yes. It's a very lovely room." I stated, shifting my weight awkwardly. I wasn't sure why, but he made me feel nervous. His green eyes darted to the doors leading to the hallway that were closed. He then quietly closed the doors to the garden. I blinked but didn't say anything as he moved over to me. I frowned as he got rather close. "Is there something wr—"

My eyes expanded as he leaned down and captured my lips. His hands pulled me close to his body. I felt my will power slip away from me like water in open hands. One of his hands dug into my pony tail and pulled my wavy hair free. His other hand pressed into the small of my back and made sure our bodies were as close as possible without being naked. My cheeks flushed as I felt my body respond to him. I felt too warm, too restricted. My lips moved with his as my eyelid fluttered shut. His tongue coerced mine into a tango that made my stomach feel tight. My arms reached up and wrapped around his neck as my feet pushed me up. Somehow my back was against the wall inside the closet and I made a small noise in my throat that I didn't understand. He chuckled on my lips and then pulled away so quickly that I stumbled. His eyes were a wicked shade of emerald green as he watched me as if nothing had happened with his hands tucked neatly in his pockets. I stared at him dumbfounded.

"Welcome to Genkai's temple, Nariko-san." He said softly with a predator's smirk before he turned and left my room. I couldn't move. I was too confused and numb to do anything other than stare after him. When I finally gained some control over my body, I flushed from anger. That bastard had just practically sexually assaulted me and walked away as if none of it had happened! I swore that I'd stay the hell as far away from him as I could all summer. I didn't need him to complicate my life any more than it already was. If only I'd been able to keep that promise to myself.

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_I know I didn't leave time for any reviews, but I feel like I'm on a roll with writing this. So there may be multiple posts every now and then. Hope you like it so far!_

_**Erika Hearken**_


	3. Voices in the Dark

**E.H.**

_Thanks for the review, Saki! You're always so good about reviewing pretty much all my stories. :)_

So, I've found that whenever I title a chapter no matter what story it is...somehow whatever I write ends up tying into the title without any thought on my part. It's odd but kind of cool! 

_Onto the next chapter!_

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**Voices in the Dark**

I sat with Keiko in the hot spring we'd hiked to. Yukina-san had joined us more than happily. Keiko had laid her head back on the rocky edge. Yukina-san sat rather properly and smiled as she relaxed. I had my arms crossed and leaning on the edge with my chin propped on my arms. I had my eyes closed and was in ignorant bliss as my thoughts wandered. Unbidden, Suuichi's assault in my room rose to the forefront. I bit down the angry noise that threatened to spill from me. My eyes opened and glared into the underbrush. Who did he think he was anyway? Did he find it funny to play with me like that? For that awfully polite demeanor, he certainly was a jerk underneath it all wasn't he? I fumed silently. _He's probably a playboy with looks like that. Possibly even has a string of pretty girls who throw themselves at him._ I frowned at that thought. If he did have a string of pretty girls, why was he after me? Or maybe he wasn't and just like to toy with girls. That thought made me even angrier than his playboy façade. _Or he could have been experimenting to see if he's actually straight. _I stifled the giggle that thought brought up. Suuichi; gay. It seemed plausible enough.

"This is really nice." Keiko sighed and moved to sit up. "But I'm getting hungry. How about you girls?"

"I could eat." I mumbled.

"Shall we head back and fix some lunch?" Yukina-san asked politely.

Keiko stood and stepped from the hot spring. "Sounds great to me."

I followed suit and grabbed my bag of gear. We dried off and wrapped our towels around our bathing suit clad bodies. It was a bit of a hike back to the temple. I handed the other two a water bottle that I'd packed and opened my own. They both thanked me as we drank our water and walked back through the wooded path toward the temple. I tilted my head back to drink from my water bottle and stopped, dropping the bottle back down to level. I turned my head to the left and stared into the thicket. I could have sworn I saw something move in there. Shrugging it off, I dismissed it as probably just an animal. The other two were talking animated a few paces ahead of me. As I walked, it happened again. This time, the moving thing accompanied a chill of dread through my middle. I looked to the left again and squinted to see if anything moved again. It did. A figure that seemed a little too large to be just a normal animal like a deer. I would have thought a bear, but bears weren't built like large line-backers with extra arms. My eyes bugged out as I caught a flash of blue colored skin. I turned to see if the girls were okay only to find them too far ahead and out of sight. My stomach dropped. The huge _thing_ had its back to me. I quietly moved to the nearest tree and pressed my back to it. I threw my hand over my mouth to stifle my breathing and keep myself from screaming. The thing made a growling noise that sounded a little too close to laughter for my taste. A small whimpering sound came from near it before a blood-curdling shriek filled the air. I felt my heart leap as I held down a scream with much effort. Silence. I didn't dare peek. If I peeked, it'd see me. If it saw me, it'd kill me. I knew this without a doubt; how I knew that at all eluded me. I just did. Something whizzed past me and hit the dirt next to me. I risked a glance down and regretted it instantly. A rabbit/human mixed looking head stared back at me through an open mouth; frozen in death on a scream. I felt it move. I didn't have to look to know it smelled me. I heard loud sniffing noises and that horrible growling laugh noise again. I didn't wait to find out if it knew where I was. I turned to the right and ran. I ran like the devil himself was after me. I felt the earth vibrate with the monster's thunderous footfalls behind me. I didn't see the hot spring in time. My foot caught on a rock and I hurtled headlong into the scalding hot water. My eyes stung and my lungs expelled my breath quickly. I sunk quickly, not realizing how deep this water was. A ridiculous worry of if lava was at the bottom of the hot spring ran through my head briefly. I kicked for the surface. I breached the surface and gasped in a lung full of air. I looked up into seven pairs of eyes, perched vicariously near the edge of the hot spring. The monster looked at me hungrily, angrily. Its eyes scanned the water and hissed before looking at me again. I put two and two together quickly. It didn't like the water. I had to know if I was safe in the water or if it would dare the water. I splashed the hot water at it. I screeched and recoiled with a hiss. Where the water hit it boiled and steamed like acid.

I smirked. So…water hurt the thing, did it? I splashed it again and it recoiled farther. "What? Don't like water?"

It hissed at me and I hissed back. It looked revolted and offended. It charged the water and drew up short. I kicked water at it this time. There was a sick sort of satisfaction that came from knowing that I was hurting the thing that intended to fucking kill me. It screeched again and pulled back farther. It nursed its wounds before hissing at me and running into the thicket. I waited in the water for a long set of minutes before I moved closer to the edge. I tentatively hauled myself up and out. I watched the thicket closely before edging toward the pathway. I grabbed my bag from where I'd dropped it when I tripped on the rock and I sprinted down that path. I didn't look back.

**…..**

When I saw the temple, I nearly screamed in relief. I crashed through the bushed and fell into the garden onto my knees. I panted and clutched the cooler ground. I heard Keiko exclaim my name from somewhere nearby but I didn't pay any attention. I focused on breathing and breathing alone. I couldn't even put into words what I'd just seen and gone through. Whatever that monster was, I didn't _ever_ want to see it again. I glanced over my shoulder and watched the forest warily as I regained control over my lungs. I pushed myself up to my feet and turned to face the forest as I backed up a few steps. I bumped into something. My nerves were still so raw from my experience that I screamed and spun around ready to attack. Suuichi caught my hand with ease and studied my face slowly. I stared at him confused before bursting into tears and throwing myself into his arms. He didn't ask. I'd always look back at that moment and be thankful; so, so thankful that he didn't ask or pry. I wouldn't have been able to answer if he had. He lifted me into his arms and carried me to my room without a word. He must have said or motioned or something to Keiko since I didn't hear anyone follow us. He entered my room without a sound and closed the door behind him. He moved over to the futon bed and sat down, cradling me. I clung to his shirt, frightened to let go. I don't know how long he sat with me, but at some point I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up tangled against the top blanket on my bed. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, looking around. It was dark out with moonlight streaming into the room through the rice paper doors. I pushed my feet to the floor and stood up slowly and hesitantly. My stomach growled loudly. I recalled that I'd not eaten since before the trip to the hot springs and consequently my monster run-in. I didn't care that I had never changed from my bikini. I could feel the drawstrings tickle the sides of my thighs as I left my room quietly. I walked barefoot down the hallway toward where I remembered the kitchen being. I popped into the large room and opened the refrigerator and snagged an onigiri from a saran wrapped plate. I munched on it while snagging a soda and popping the top. I stepped out of the kitchen and was about to head to my room when voices floated down the hall toward me. I turned and looked the opposite direction of my room where they were coming from. I frowned and looked between the directions. I chose to be nosy and headed toward the voices. As I neared a far room, the voices grew more defined and clearer. I leaned against the wall next to the room and listened closely with the onigiri poised between my teeth.

"The demon that attacked her wasn't a normal demon, Yusuke. I saw what it did to a usaginin demon. How could she escape something so deadly without a scratch?"

A heavy sigh. "Yeah, I know. I get it. But what do you want me to say, Kurama? 'Hey! Nariko! We know you're probably traumatized but hell, lets run some blood tests and see if you aren't supernatural or fuck, even a demon!'?"

"I agree it isn't something easily approached. However, I'm not so certain we can leave her unattended."

"What are you suggesting?"

"I'm merely stating that she should have someone always watching her during her stay."

"You volunteering?"

A long pause stretched and I wondered if I'd been discovered. "I suppose it would be a wise decision if I did."

"What's with you anyway?"

"I don't understand what you are inferring."

"You're…I don't know…weird around her or something."

"She's intriguing, I admit. But there is…something else to her. A strange electro-magnetic draw I feel from her."

"You know I have no fucking clue what that means, right?"

A short chuckle. "I'm well aware of that fact, Yusuke."

"Good. Jus' wanted to be sure."

Movement sounded from within the room and quickly moved back down the hallway as quickly and quietly as possible. I slid into my room and sat on my bed. I put the onigiri on the small nightstand along with the open soda. My appetite was gone. I wasn't sure what to make of what I'd just heard. Demons? That thing was a demon? And who was this Kurama guy? He sounded a hell of a lot like Suuichi. I rubbed my face with my hands and sighed. I didn't need this crap. I flopped over and closed my eyes. After a long time of tossing and turning, I finally fell asleep again. I wished instantly that I hadn't.

**…..**

Nightmares are funny things. You know it's a nightmare when it's happening. What you don't know is the why or the how. Such as, why the hell am I caught in this elevator in the first place while plummeting to my death? Or, how did I get on this plane in the first place? There was always a small ray of hope in nightmares. A small sliver of sunlight that you know if you can _just_ make it there, everything will be okay. But no matter how hard you try, you never reach it. I used to hate nightmares. Now I see their purpose. They show you something you'd never thought before. A piece of you that needs to know consciously what your subconscious constantly screams at you. Like a sixth sense that you ignore until it smacks you upside the face.

My nightmare that night was simple. I was running from something I couldn't see. I knew it was going to catch me. I didn't know what it planned to do with me just like I knew running was futile. For some reason though, while I was running, I wasn't terrified. I was almost excited. I knew that whatever was behind me was deadly, dangerous. But I still felt so exhilarated as I fled from it. It was almost near enough to see when I woke up.

The first thing I saw was the onigiri I'd gotten last night on my bedside table. The second thing I saw was red hair and green eyes looking at me from a seat on the floor. I shot up and threw myself against the wall in shock. A cry exploded from me as I did so. I watched shock then amusement cross Suuichi's face from where he sat. He chuckled and shook his head.

"You not only make odd statement in your sleep, you also react rather comically in the morning."

"Maybe I wasn't expected stalker ass in my room upon waking!" I shot back.

"Stalker ass?"

"Yes. _You._"

"Hm. That would require far too much effort on my part." He stated simply as he rose to his feet. "Yukina has finished making breakfast. You should change into human clothing and come eat with us." He crossed the room to the door. I looked down at my bathing suit, cursing mentally that I'd never changed.

I moved off the bed and to the dressers. I pulled out my undergarments and was starting to pull out a shirt and shorts when I realized I had an audience still. I looked over at him. My eyes followed where his gaze was focused. I picked up the nearest item that would fly and threw it at him.

"Stop staring at my underwear!"

He caught the small stress ball with ease and rolled his emerald eyes. "Please. I'm merely curious as to why a grown woman has Hello Kitty undergarments."

"Because some grown women have taste! Now get out!"

He sighed and opened the door. "Some women have an appalling lack of manners."

"Some men are appalling!" I shot back at the closing door. Once the door was shut, I heaved a growling sigh and changed quickly. I tossed my bathing suit into my swimming gear back and headed down the hall to breakfast. I entered the kitchen and smiled at Keiko. Keiko greeted me warmly and motioned to the open seat next to her. I sat and served my plate with food, joining the others as they ate.

Kuwabara was in the middle of an exaggerated story when he looked over at me and squinted. "Hey, Nariko. You feelin' okay?"

I looked up in surprise, furrowing my brows. "Yes? Why, is there something wrong?"

"Nah. Your auras just funny this morning. Like your energy changed or something."

I stared at him blankly. Yusuke laughed and I could heard the nervous edge to it.

"Aw, c'mon Kuwabara! You're so full of crap!"

"Hey! Urameshi! You know I got super senses!"

"You can see my aura?" I asked quietly, drawing the loud one's attention back to me. He smiled big and proudly.

"Yeah! And everyone else's too!"

"That's a really interesting talent." I smiled. He beamed. I returned to my breakfast and ate quietly. I sat back to take a drink and noticed inquisitive green eyes watching me closely. I darted a glance around the table and noted that everyone was too busy talking about other things to notice us. I looked back and stuck my tongue out at him quickly before returning to my food without a look back. A sharp pain erupted on my shin. I bit back a cry and looked up sharply at him. The asshole _kicked_ me! I glared at his smug smirk. Oh, how I wanted to find a way to wipe that smirk off his face. As if reading my mind, he leaned his elbows on the table and knit his fingers together to rest his chin atop them. He spoke quietly enough that he wasn't overheard by the others; but I heard him loud and clear.

"I'd like to see you try."

The challenge was issued. I sneered at him before turning in an obvious show of distaste toward him and began to talk with Keiko.

**…..**

The beach was stunning. Blue crystalline water ebbed and flowed over the pearly sand. Keiko and Yusuke walked together, teasing and flirting as they did so. Kuwabara tried to show off to Yukina who merely smiled and laughed at his antics. I sat on a large driftwood log, watching everyone else. My short green sundress blew slightly in the warm breeze. It'd been a good week since the monster fiasco in the woods. Suuichi had gone to work for the rest of the week, giving me a much needed break. Keiko and I had spent the last two days cooped up inside the temple seeing as how it had rained hard. Today was sunny and so nice a warm. Summer stretched over the land like a lazy cat yawning. I tucked my hair behind my ear as it tickled my face. Yusuke and Keiko were pretty far down the beach now while Yukina and Kuwabara were in the waves, playing. I didn't even hear him approach; I felt the familiar tingle but ignored it as nothing. His lips moved against my ear without any preamble.

"Boo."

I jumped; I hated the fact that I actually jumped. I turned quickly and glared into green eyes.

"You're not funny."

He shrugged and moved around the log to sit beside me. "I wasn't truly attempting."

"You're also not invited to sit here."

He smirked and leaned his elbows on his knees, looking over at me. "Oh? And just whom are you to decide where I am invited to sit?"

"When it is within ten feet of me."

Amusement glittered in his eyes as he watched me. "I see. So I'm not allowed within ten feet of you. Have you thought to get that in writing?"

I cursed him and hoped it showed in my eyes. "Not yet. I wouldn't tempt me, if I were you."

"Ah, but you see…tempting is something I do well." He was right, I just didn't know it yet. I just snorted and turned away.

"You couldn't tempt your way out of a wet paper bag."

"Are you issuing a challenge?" He sat back and crossed one leg elegantly over the other. I turned back, naively.

"Yes, I am."

"Are you certain you wish to go forward with that?" He was giving me a way out. I didn't take it.

"Oh, I am more than certain."

"Please remember, I _did_ try to warn you."

"Good. You warned me. No go away."

"Quite to the contraire, Nariko. I'm not going anywhere." He rested his hands atop his knee, looking for all the world like royalty. Wicked, dark, mischievous royalty. A high prince with too much time on his hands. I stood up to walk away. His hand was on my wrist pulling me back sharply. I stumbled in the sand and flipped over the log. I landed unceremoniously on the ground behind the log. I glared up at him about to tell him where to shove it when his lips silenced me. My hands were pinned above my head by only one of his hands. I tried in vain to free them, finding his one hand to be far stronger than I'd given him credit for. His tongue traced my lips. I glared at him but he ignored me. His tongue receded and I opened my mouth to tell him off. His eyes showed his pleasure at winning when his tongue dove in between my lips. I cursed my stupidity at giving him the opening. However, my mind began to blank as he coaxed my tongue into a fight for dominance. I felt my heart begin to speed up. His free hand drew his fingertips up my thigh tantalizingly slow. I felt my stomach coil and warm. Oh, what was wrong with me? Didn't I really despise this man? If so, why was I moaning into his mouth? Why was I pressing back and playing his game? His fingers traced the edge of my underwear. I felt heat pool lower. He was suddenly gone. I blinked, staring after him, wondering what had just happened. I looked up at him sitting on the log, nonchalant as ever. "And that, my dear Nariko, is how you lose such a gamble."

I trembled and sat up. "Y-you—"

"You issued the challenge. I merely responded. That was only a taste of the can of worms you've opened. Remember that." He stood and moved over the log and down the beach. I laid in the sand fuming and cursing everything I could about him.

**…**

Keiko and I sat on the walkway outside my bedroom doors. We ate a simple dinner of rice and miso soup while watching the sun dip below the tree line. The light bathed the garden in warm colors; each flower adding its song to the cacophony of the rainbow painting nature bestowed upon us. I took a thoughtful bite of rice and chewed slowly. Keiko sipped her soda and turned her head to look at me.

"Do you like Suuichi?"

I choked on rice; if you've never choked on rice before, trust me that it is even worse than it sounds. I leaned over the edge of the wooden walkway and coughed hard until my throat cleared away the last of the grains. I took a drink of my own can of juice and turned to pin her with a glare.

"What?"

"Suuichi…you know…red hair, nice, gentlemanly, always thoughtful…he's a really great guy."

I couldn't do much more than stare at her in mild confusion and disbelief. She was not describing the same guy to me that I'd met. Sure, he _looked_ regal and gentle but fact was always stranger than fiction. I snorted and looked away.

"Not really."

"Why not?"

"He's a jerk." I stated simply with a shrug.

Keiko stared at me for a long time. She shook her head and laughed. "No, he's not."

I turned to her with a frustrated sound. "Yes, Keiko, he is. He's been rather…" I searched for a word to describe him that didn't detail anything that he'd done to me thus far. "Stuck up."

"I don't think we're talking about the same guy."

"Funny, I'm getting the same impression."

Keiko shook her head and continued eating in quiet. She sighed and put her chopsticks down. "I'm confused."

"About Suuichi?" I guessed and threw my hands up defensively when she gave me a droll look.

"_No._" She stressed. "That's you. I know Suuichi pretty well. I'm confused about what to do. I tried to…you know…with Yusuke last night. He didn't seem interested…" Keiko pouted.

I frowned. "He said no?"

"Well, no…not exactly. He got nervous and said he had to use the bathroom. Then he didn't come back."

"I'm sure it was just nerves."

"Yeah…I hope so." She sighed and looked across the garden, deflated. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"Keiko," I turned to face her. She half-turned and looked at me with such a forlorn look. "You are very pretty. How could you doubt that?"

"My boobs are small, my hips are huge, I have average hair, typical brown eyes, my skin is dry, and I'm not tall or short. Just…mediocre. In everything."

I sighed and shook my head. "Who are you comparing yourself to?"

She looked at me guiltily. "You're really pretty, Nariko."

"Oh! Come on, Keiko! Don't compare yourself to me!" I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "My hair is always a mess, I burn in the sun faster than anyone I know without miles of sunscreen piled onto my skin, I belch like a man, I snore, and I'm pessimistic. You are sunshine, happiness, and joy. I'm shade, annoyance, and irritation. Did you know that the guys had a calendar to keep track of my menstrual cycle in school?"

Keiko's eyes widened as she bit back the laugh she was trying to hide. "You're kidding?"

"Nope. Not even slightly."

"How did you find out?"

"I found it. At first, I was mortified. Then I realized…it was because I was so bitchy." I shrugged with a smile. Keiko laughed finally and I joined her. "All joking aside. Keiko, you are stunning. Who cares what anyone sees outside, your heart and soul radiate. Yusuke sees it. I've seen the way he looks at you. I'm sure last night was because he didn't want to screw anything up and disappoint you."

"How could he disappoint me?"

"How could Icarus think he could fly to the sun on wax wings?"

She smiled softly at me. "Thanks. You're always there for me when I need you."

"You're always looking out for me." I returned and hugged her. We turned back and finished our small dinner in quiet as the last of the sunlight dipped past the horizon.

* * *

_I hope it was worth the read so far! Let me know how I'm doing! Thanks!_

_**Erika Hearken**_


	4. Nocturnal Orchestra

**Nocturnal Orchestra**

I don't know what woke me up that night. To this day, I still didn't know. I felt cold and sticky; my body shook so violently that I had a hard time rising from the mattress. My heart thundered in my throat as my feet slowly pushed against the floor. I stood and wrapped the top blanket around me as I padded across my room to the garden doors. Something told me to open them and go outside. I listened. I stepped onto the walkway and looked up at the moon. A film began to cross my eyes as if I were watching a movie that was being projected from my eyes onto the surface of the moon.

Footsteps; running. Paws through wet snow. A tail; silver, dashing by. Blood, so much blood, staining the snow. Life draining painfully slow. Numb. Whimper. Cold. Everywhere cold. So much cold. No breathe to take in. Black.

A dull thud was the last thing I heard before I fell unconscious.

**…..**

I was being shaken. I could smell fresh roses. The scent was soothing in a way that shouldn't have been possible. I never understood the draw to roses; they were a flower. So what if they meant love? I opened my eyes slowly. My vision was so blurry. It took me a few minutes to realize that my face was wet. I closed my eyes against the sudden headache that exploded behind my eyes. I groaned in pain and rolled to my back. The floor was cold. Why was I on the floor? I couldn't remember how I got there. I opened my eyes again and could see much clearer. Suuichi was knelt over me; an unreadable expression was on his face. He pressed his hand to my cheek and recoiled instantly as if in pain. I tried to tell him to go away but my mouth wouldn't move. My mind was such a mess of jumbled feelings. I felt dread, sadness, confusion, desire, sorrow, anger, and most of all…the strongest of all was safe. I shouldn't feel safe. That emotional feeling was wrong. I was alone with Suuichi. I shouldn't feel safe. I should feel angry…upset…defiled. But I felt calming peace that I was somehow safe.

Suuichi stared into my eyes. "Who are you?" If I'd been in another state of mind, the question would have seemed odd and out of place. As it was, I briefly thought he wondered if I was concussive or experiencing acute amnesia.

"Utsuda, Nariko." I replied softly. He looked unconvinced but helped me up.

"What on earth are you doing out here in the cool night in such indecent clothing?"

I looked at him blinking. Comprehension slowly slid over my mind. "Oh…yeah. Outside. I went outside. I looked at the moon and then…I think I fainted." I touched my head lightly.

"Do you remember anything else before that?"

Of course I did. It was seriously weird and made me feel rather nervous and, well, to be honest…unsure of _what_ I'd seen. "I fainted. Does this have to be a game of twenty annoying questions to the person with a migraine?"

His face turned into displeasure as he made a scoffing sound. "Ever the lovely cynic, aren't we?"

"Ever the present annoyance, aren't we?" I countered and pushed up to my feet, stumbled against the wall. He helped steady me and guided me to my bed. I wanted to shrug him off but couldn't find the energy to try. He let go as I was near enough to fall onto the mattress; that's exactly what I did, too. I looked up at him in puzzlement and found his eyes looked distant and were focused elsewhere. "Thank you for helping me. I know you didn't have to."

"Naturally, curiosity won me over." He replied distractedly.

I felt my anger flush but I stamped it down. "Well, I guess thank you for being curious then."

He looked at me with mild confusion before he chuckled and shook his head. "I meant more along the lines of why you were out. Not curious about your ability to walk."

I opened my mouth to snap a retort only to have him raise his hand at me. I didn't shut up because of his motion and respect toward him; I shut up because I was stunned that he had _shushed me_ _with his hand._

"Why did you go outside?"

I blinked and looked toward the doors. "I don't know." He made an annoyed sound. I looked back and him with a glare. "I really don't, okay! I just…had to go outside. Like I felt drawn out there. Who knows?"

"I see." He turned, crossing to the doors that led to the hallway. I frowned as a thought occurred to me.

"How did you know where I was?" He paused before the door but didn't turn.

"Again, curiosity." He left before I could ask him anything else. I stared after him for a bit. Trying to figure out Suuichi was like trying to solve a thousand piece jigsaw puzzle with only ten pieces. I blew out a sigh and flopped back on my bed. I didn't know what to make of my life at the time. I was beginning to wonder if the psychosis my mother was placed in her 'home' for wasn't hereditary. Last place I wanted to end up was in the room across the hall from mom. With that thought to sober me, I shoved everything weird that'd happened to me to the farthest part of my mind. This was my last summer without school and work. I was going to enjoy it.

**…..**

A week or two went by (hard to remember what day it was when time flew by) when Shizuru and the girl named Botan came to the temple. I really enjoyed the bubbly blue-head's humor. She teased Keiko about the 'birds and the bees; the flowers and trees' incessantly. Keiko would always turn bright red and try to steer the conversation away from such topics. Apparently they didn't know that she'd been interested in those activities with Yusuke for a while. We sat around a campfire on the beach. The boys, Kuwabara and Yusuke that is, were trying to tell scary stories. Shizuru passed around beer. We all were laughing and having a great time.

I stood up to go relieve myself; Shizuru came with me. We trudged through the sand off toward the small sand dune that hid our backsides from view efficiently. I was glad I thought to bring my bag of tissues. I handed one to Shizuru after we finished up. She stopped and stared off into the trees with an odd look on her face. I turned to follow her gaze. I was about to look back at her when seven sets of glowing eyes moved out of sight; shrinking back into the darkness. I felt a shiver slither down my spine. Great. Now I was hallucinating just like mom again. I turned. Shizuru was looking at me funny. I asked her what was wrong. She laughed and brushed the topic off by claiming the alcohol was getting to her. I agreed that it was getting to me too. We walked back to the campfire. Botan was making a dramatic display while trying to tell a scary story. I sat down as she went on and on about this scary monster thing that plagued the halls of a famous mansion for years. People disappeared, yadda yadda. Typical dumb story. I tuned it out and sipped my beer while staring out at the ocean. The waves moved with such a symphonious rhythm. So soft and gentle yet below it all was a current awaiting the right moment to lull its victim close enough before dragging them out to sea. I felt a fuzziness coming over me. The beer was warming me sufficiently. I turned my head to the left just a bit and caught fire-lit green eyes staring intently at me. The look he was giving me was one that made my bones turn molten. I wasn't entire sure, but the way the firelight flickered made his eyes look more golden than green. I turned my gaze away to save myself from the intensity of his gaze.

Botan was mid-sentence when a long, piercing howl fill the air. She paused and dropped her hands. There was something eerily wrong with the howl. It was a wolf; even I knew that. I mean, come on, what else could it have been? But, thanks to the psycho gene from mommy dearest, it was twisted and guttural. I ignored it and drank some more beer to drown it out. I noticed several looks were cast my direction. I blinked at them before chuckling.

"Don't tell me you're afraid of wolves now?" I teased.

Yusuke looked confused for a minute before nodding slowly. "No. Not afraid. Just wonderin' how skittish you are."

"Skittish? Me? I sat perfectly still for your little story. Tell me a story that's truly scary and then _maybe_ you'll see me a little skittish."

Shizuru grinned. "Keiko, I like her. We need to have her around more often."

Keiko laughed and agreed. Botan giggled and continued her story with just as much vigor. I ignored the look Suuichi had given me. Once Botan finished her story, I was done with my beer and feeling it rather strongly. I slid off the log and sat in the sand while reclining against the drift wood log. Suuichi cleared his throat.

"May I take a try at it?"

Yusuke grinned evilly. "Think you can top us, fox boy?"

I ignored the nickname and stared at him intently. Suuichi's smile was slow, but I could feel the predator that lurked beneath it as if it'd reached out and touched me.

"Do you doubt me, Yusuke?"

"Nah. Jus' wanna hear what you got. Hit us."

His voice was low and smooth. _Like buttered rum._ I nearly giggled at the thought. Suuichi, buttered rum? Now there was a picture. I may as well picture him as a pirate asking 'why's the rum gone?' Instead of pirate, what popped up into my head was far more tantalizing. The image of him topless and propped on his elbows, green eyes dark with lust filled my head. I licked my lips and listened to his story not hearing the words at all. All I heard was the drone of his voice and the feelings it provoked in me. I shifted, feeling too restricted in my form-fitted jeans. His eyes flicked to mine and held me captive. I could nearly taste fear radiating from beside me where Botan was sitting. From my peripherals, I could see a few nervous shifts. They didn't hold my attention though. A certain pair of full lips held my entire mind in one place. Desire. I didn't miss the way his lips turned up just barely on one side. The beer was really affecting me, or so I thought. I shifted again to sit up further against the log.

Suuichi's story ended and everyone shared a shudder. Yusuke commented on how fucking messed up his story was. Suuichi chuckled and looked away from me for a moment to shrug at Yusuke. The moment he looked away, I felt my face grow warm. I looked away. I couldn't believe I let myself be so…taken by him. It didn't matter that I was intoxicated; that was no excuse. After a while, we doused the fire and walked together back toward the temple. I fell back in the group. I was staring at the ground as I walked. I heard laughter up ahead further. I looked up and saw the rest of the group moving farther away. I frowned. How did I get so far back?

"Are you all right?" I jumped and turned to face Suuichi. I put my hand over my heart.

"Jeeze. You scared me. How long have you been there?"

"I have been walking beside you all along. You must truly have had one too many to drink."

"Yeah. I did. And unfortunately, they're wearing off."

I felt his hand on the small of my back. I turned and shot him a warning look. "I don't have enough mind or energy to fight you off. So please, don't play with me right now."

He smiled at me innocently. "Please, Nariko. I merely wished to help you return to the temple safely."

I nodded and continued walking again. The stairs started out sand covered and proved hard to walk on at first. They changed to regular concrete after a while and were much easier to climb. I noted how Suuichi moved behind me while I walked up them. I wondered idly if he was back there to make sure he could catch me if I fell or if he just wanted a closer view of my ass. I snorted to myself. He inquired and I waved my hand over my shoulder dismissively. By the time we reached the top step, I was fairly sober. I shivered, missing the warmth the alcohol had instilled in me. I froze as a jacket dropped over my shoulders. I looked up at him. He wasn't looking at me but off in the distance. I looked at his warm jacket and decided to be nice. After all, he was trying, wasn't he? I tugged it on closer and continued to walk without saying anything. We reached the temple last and everyone else seemed to think all was find since they didn't even wait to see if we'd catch up. I could see from across the back courtyard that everyone had turned in for the night. No lights were on in any of the rooms. As I neared the garden's edge and consequently my room, a feeling a dread knotted in my gut. I didn't want to go in there alone. I didn't want to sleep tonight. My dreams were almost as bad as the feeling of going insane. We stepped onto the wooden walkway and tugged our shoes off. I smacked the sand out of mine and turned to say goodnight. Suuichi stepped up to me and pushed me lightly against the support beam. His lips descended over mine. It wasn't forceful or demanding. Instead, I felt like he was asking me. Asking me for permission? Asking me to be nicer? Asking me to give up? I wasn't really sure. But I gave up. I tilted my head back and gave him the opening to deepen the kiss. It changed in a heartbeat to something that tasted darker; stronger. He lifted me with such ease that it should have scared me. Instead, I wrapped my legs around him. I heard my door open and slide shut again. My mattress cradled my back as he laid me down. I ran my fingers through his hair and dragged my nails over his scalp gently. He groaned and pressed against me more. His lips left mine to trail down my jaw to my neck. I pushed my head back into the pillow to give him better access. His hands were all over me. I didn't have to say a word. He seemed to know where to touch me and how. I purred as he kneaded my breast in his hand. I pushed my chest up into his hand. His tongue swirled patterns on my flesh making goose bumps raise all over me. My shirt was lifted up over my head and discarded across the room. He deftly removed my bra with ease. The next to go was my jeans. They joined my shirt across the room in a heap. I made a frustrated noise as I tugged on his shirt. He obliged me and threw his shirt somewhere near mine. I sat up on my knees and kissed him heatedly. I'd read a lot of romance novels, so I had a least a little clue as to how to play this game. Other than that? I was completely winging it. When you're kind of an outcast through high school and refuse to date the guys who just want a one night fling, you really don't have a chance to broaden your expertise in sexual acts. His teeth dragged lightly over my bottom lip. I closed my eyes as he tugged my hair lightly, making my head lean back. His bare, lean chest pressed against mine. I moaned at the feel of his hard muscle fit snugly on my soft front. I wished I worked out more suddenly. I wasn't fit or perfect like he was. When he grabbed my backside with both hands, I suddenly forgot all about whether I was fit or not. He was touching me. I didn't care anymore. I leaned back, balancing precariously on my knees while holding onto him. His mouth found my breasts. I gasped as he suckled and teased each one. I wiggled my thighs together. His hand answered my unspoken plea to be touched. His fingers delved under the waistband of my underwear and found my need. How he knew exactly how to touch me and press just right until I came, I wasn't sure. I just knew that he'd just rocked my world and he hadn't even invaded my body yet. I smothered my cry with my hand. He chuckled in my ear.

"Round one."

Oh kami, if that was round one, what would round two be like? I almost asked but swallowed it. I didn't want him to tell me in words. I wanted to know through action. My underwear slid down my thighs. I moved my legs to help rid myself of the offending fabric. I glanced down to see if he was still in his jeans. I stared at where fabric had previously kept him out of sight. I bit my bottom lip and reached to trail my hand over him. He let me explore him. I looked into his eyes. He stared back into mine. I felt odd; like I'd been here before. What was that in the back of my head? There was something there…like a niggling little worm dying to have someone notice it and free it from its captivity on the hook. I didn't have much time to think as he moved my thighs farther apart. Suddenly, I felt very self-conscious and frightened. He moved my hips closer to him. I wanted to cry; I wanted to run. I wanted to feel him fully. Too many things warred in my heart and mind. My body screamed for this. My head screamed for me to run and run fast. My heart was torn between them. It was like there was another piece of the Suuichi jigsaw puzzle hanging just out of sight that needed to be seen; to be known. But no matter how hard I tried to find it or look at it, I couldn't take my eyes away from him. He pressed the head of his member against my most private region. I gasped and shut my eyes tightly. I grabbed his shoulders tightly in preparation. He pushed up into me slowly. He stopped as I winced and began to dig my nails into his shoulders. I felt his hand brush hair from my face.

"Nariko…look into my eyes." I shook my head. He made an exasperated sound, stilling my head with his fingers on my chin. "Look at me."

I opened my eyes to meet his gaze. His hand dropped between us. He pushed on my sensitive zone and thrust the rest of the way all at the same moment. The intrusion hurt, but the pleasure from the stimulus on my sensitive spot countered each other. I wanted to cry from pain and pleasure at the same time. I felt tears gather in my eyes as he broke through my maidenhead. He continued to stroke my nub before he began to move within me. The feeling of him deep within me was both pleasing and weird. I began to feel like someone was winding a rubber band tighter and tighter within my stomach. My hips began to move on their own. My breath came out in pants as I clung to him. He leaned me back. His right arm helped us down gently while he held me tightly with his left arm. I lifted my legs to wrap around his hips and felt a swell of pride at the way he groaned. I ground my hips with his, feeling sweat begin to dapple my brow. I could feel the slick of sweat glistening over him. I ran my hands over his back and dragged my nails up his back while arching into him. He thrust within me repeatedly. I threw one arm over my mouth and bit to muffle my cries. I didn't know I could make such…animalistic sounds. He leaned his forehead against the pillow beside my ear to muffle his own grunts and groans. His red hair spilled over us like spilt blood. The thought sprung up an image in my mind that made me still.

A woman, lying in a pool of blood. It was all around her, staining her silver-blue hair crimson. Her eyes were deadened and open in a small cry. I knew her. I didn't know how, but I knew her. I even knew why she was crying. It wasn't from pain or fear of death; she cried for someone. Someone special. The instant disappeared and I was back to me. I stared into shocked green eyes. He was over me, concern etched deep in his brows along with shock.

"What did you just see?"

"What?"

"You froze and your eyes went glassy. What did you see?"

"I didn't see anything." I lied, not wanting to admit it. I wasn't insane. I didn't want to be insane. I didn't want to live as the butt of everyone's joke.

"Don't lie to me, Nariko."

I grew angry. How dare he tell me what to do? I shoved him off of me. I pulled away from him, grimacing at the lack of him inside me. I rolled onto my side and pulled away from him. "Who are you to tell me what to do?"

He ran his hands over his face in obvious frustration. "You are a painfully stubborn woman!"

"So what?!"

"So what? Why do I waste my time with you?" He growled, rolling off the bed. He gathered his clothes and crammed them on roughly. He moved to the door. He threw the sliding door open and shut it with force. I knew that was the closest he'd get to slamming a door. His words stung me. Deeper than they should have. I bit my trembling lip and hugged my knees to my chest and rocked myself on the bed.

"So much for my virginity…" I tried to dryly joke but choked on it as tears spilled down my cheeks. Why did I have to ruin everything? I eventually fell asleep.

When I woke, I was sore in more ways than just physically. I rose and threw on some simple pajamas before moving down to the bathroom. I needed to shower. I stepped into the bathroom and flicked the lock. I took a long, hot shower and hid my tears in the stream. I didn't want to face him. I didn't want to see him. But I had to. I was a grown woman. Damnit, I could hide my pain better than most. I got out and dried. Pulling on my strapless top and jeans, I stopped off at my room to drop my dirty clothes off and grab my small shoulder vest. I threw it on over my shoulders and walked quietly to the kitchen. I stepped inside and tried to swallow the raw feeling in my stomach at the sight of bright red hair. He sat sipping coffee or tea while reading a newspaper. He didn't even look up at me as I walked in. I ignored him as well as I crossed to the coffee pot. I stared at the dark liquid longingly. I dragged a mug down and poured a cup. I held it up and inhaled deeply, enjoying the scent.

"Morning!" Keiko beamed as she walked in.

"Good morning, Keiko. Did you sleep well?" Suuichi asked her politely. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"Yes, I did. Thank you for asking." She crossed to where I was. "Morning."

"Morning." I drawled into my cup. She paused and frowned. Damn. Forgot. Keiko. She always could read me like an open book.

"You okay, Nariko?"

"Yup. Just dandy." I lied through my teeth. She gave me that look. The one that says, 'Oh hell no! Don't you go lying to me!' She planted her hand on her hip and leaned on the counter.

"Riko…" Damnit. I knew she was seriously when she shortened my name like that. I sighed. I didn't want to talk in present company, but with the way he sat so primly…I knew he wasn't about to leave.

"I just…couldn't sleep well. That's all." I grumbled.

"Why? You didn't have nightmares again did you?" The concern in her voice was really sweet. I smiled despite my mood.

"No. Not really." I then felt the need to take a hidden jibe at a certain someone. "Just _highly_ uncomfortable."

"Oh my. I'm sorry." Keiko frowned. She turned and walked to the freezer. Over her shoulder, she still spoke. "I wish there was something I could do." She began to dig out ice cubes and place them in a bowl beside the freezer. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"What are you doing, Keiko?"

She turned and looked at the ice cubes and back. I saw it as she looked at me. An evil gleam in her innocent brown eyes. "Oh, just the usual…waking Yusuke up."

I snickered. "Poor man."

"His fault for not ever waking at a human hour." She giggled as she left with bowl in hand. I shook my head, sipping my coffee. Suuichi turned in his seat to pin me with a glare.

I met his glare with my own. "What? Got a problem?"

He stood and crossed the kitchen to me. He towered over me in a show to dominance. I snorted and hopped up onto the counter to be perfectly eye level with him. He smirked at me. I frowned at him.

"If you're going to try the dominance crap, try it with a female whose less _'painfully stubborn'_ and doesn't _'waste your time'_." I snarled.

He met my venom head on. "What did you see last night?"

I growled. "I already told you! I didn't see _anything_!"

"When you grow up and stop lying to all those around you, then and only then will I bother with you." He stepped back and moved to leave. I didn't stop him. I let him go.

* * *

_Thanks for reading! _

**_Erika Hearken_**


	5. Portrait of Time

**E.H.**

_Another chapter up! Thank you to SakiHanajima and Mizz Ri for the reviews! I have to say, this story is really a mind of its own. It likes to go its own way. Here you are! Chapter five!_

* * *

**Portrait of Time**

The rest of the summer skittered past without much ado. The Tokyo University orientation came up fast and took up a week of my time. I found that I was rather pleased with the choice. I probably could have gone abroad with my grades and scholarships, but I chose to stick close to home. After all, mother wasn't going to pay for her care. I had to stay close to home for that sake. Once school started, I worked diligently.

My time at Tokyo U. was well spent. In a few years' time I was ready to tackle my internship at a large business firm. I applied to three. Within three days, my top choice called me in for an interview. I was both excited and frightened out of my skin. I ran to Keiko first thing and dumped my worries. She sat with me, helping me breathe and calming me down. That night, I went into my closet and began pulling out the boxes of my mom's old business attire. I stared into the box with fond memories of before she started having her episodes. I pulled a blouse out that smelled of the perfume she used to wear. I held it to my nose and inhaled deeply. I missed the mother that used to hold me in her arms, smelling of sakura and plums. In an odd way, it almost smelled like Christmas. I pulled it away from my nose and wiped my tears away. I pulled free an old, black pencil skirt. Under that was a garter-belt and stockings. I stared at them, shoving any weird thoughts aside and moved to try them on. Much to my surprise, I fit them perfectly. I remembered back in junior year of high school, I'd tried on a few of her clothes and found they were a bit too long on me. The part that fit a little awkwardly now was the chest. Apparently the genes from my father's American blood had kicked in. I hadn't ever noticed that I'd filled out more. Now, it was almost painfully obvious. Still, it was better than nothing.

On the morning of the interview, I dressed to kill. I had to land this internship. The other two had yet to call me. I had a feeling they weren't going to. I slid into my black heels and rolled some hair on the right side of my head back and pinned it back with my jewel imbedded dragonfly clip. Keiko and Yukina had given it to me for my last birthday. The head of the dragonfly was a special type of gem stone from wherever Yukina was from. I'd never heard of it before but was flattered none-the-less. I nodded at my reflection. I was ready.

**…..**

I nailed it. He offered me the internship on the spot. Oneida-san was a nice middle-aged gentleman. His face was wrinkled softly with laugh lines. I headed home with a bounce in my step. I stopped at Keiko's parents' place for lunch and gushed over how I'd done it. Keiko squealed and hugged me. We ate together, chatting about the old days. I noticed something sparkling on her left hand. I instantly snatched her hand and drew it close to examine.

"Yukimura, Keiko! When were you planning on telling me?!" I gasped, staring between the gentle rock on her ring finger and her face.

She blushed prettily and smiled. "I was going to tell you this weekend on our girl's outing."

"He proposed?"

"Yes! And he was so cute about it too! He was flustered and blushing and stuttering all over the place! He blew up and screamed at some geese in the pond at Genkai's before storming off. He turned back and stomped right up to me and said, 'damnit Keiko, just friggin' marry me!'"

I laughed, tossing my head back. "That sounds like Yusuke, all right!"

"How about you? Any boyfriend prospects?"

I snorted and looked away. "Nope. When fate decides to drop kick him into my life, I'll let you know. Until then, I'm free-birding it."

"Gee, that sounds familiar…" Keiko mumbled looking across the counter toward the kitchen where her father was busy cooking. I turned and looked at her confused.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Suuichi's said pretty much the same thing every time we ask him about a girlfriend."

I tensed at the name. Nope. Not going there. That was a can of worms I'd buried deep under. I shrugged and took a long drink from my water. "I should get going so that I can get my stuff in line for this internship." Keiko gave me _that_ look but nodded, letting it go.

I walked home in the cooling night. It was fall. I hugged my jacket closer around me. Almost four years had passed since that summer; odd how it was both the best and worst summer of my life. I still kept in touch with Shizuru, Yukina, Keiko, and Botan. Through Keiko I still saw Yusuke and Kuwabara from time to time. I did enjoy the two men's antics. I could easily say Keiko was my best friend. I got to the park across from my apartment. I felt a frigid cold slither down my spine. I froze and counted backward from ten. No. I hadn't had this feeling for almost four years too. Why now? I fought the urge to look to my right into the park. I lost. I glanced over and there it was. Hidden far within the park, blue skin glinting in the low light. Seven pairs of eyes glared at me. I turned and darted across the street quickly and ran up the stairs two at a time. I got to my door and heard the deep, hollow, guttural howl. I threw my door open and dashed inside, slamming the door behind me. I locked it tightly and leaned against the cool surface, sliding to the floor. I buried my face in my hands.

"No…no…no…I didn't see it. I'm not seeing things. I'm not mom. I'm not mom…I'm…not…mom…" The tears fell with small, quiet, wet plops on the hard floor. I dragged myself to my feet and threw my shoes off. I had to take her clothes off. They were making me insane. Yeah. That had to be it. It didn't matter if it made sense or not, I would take any chance to blame it on something else. I peeled down to my underwear and stockings as I crossed my apartment. I opened my fridge and grabbed a beer. Popping the top, I chugged it while walking to my bed. I sat down and ignored the dark of the apartment. I tossed the empty can into the garbage can near my bed. I stripped to nothing and fell asleep like that.

**…..**

My first week of the internship went well. I found that dressing up in stockings and skirts made me feel more womanly than I'd ever felt in the past. I was filing some tax-files in the large filing room by myself. I had skipped my lunch break, not in the mood for idle chit-chat. I found that I really loved this job. It was menial and brainless in several ways, but I did it well. I felt accomplished at the end of every day. Funny how fate liked to throw curve balls. I slid a file into place when I heard the door open. I ignored whoever was coming in to the room. At least until a tingle started in my lower back and spread out from there. The feeling of fresh grass brushing bare feet rushed over me followed by the scent of roses. My hand froze mid-movement. I turned slowly, not sure what I was expecting. My body seized to a stop. Wide green eyes were frozen on me in stunned silence as well. He looked like he had been mid-step when he'd seen me as well. The tension in the air flared with a life of its own. He recovered first, moving to stand calmly by the first row of filing cabinets. I took a steadying breath and turned back to my task. I stared at the files with a strange sense of vertigo.

"Nariko-san. How…" I could tell he was searching for the right word. "Nice to see you."

I nodded without turning. "Indeed. It's nice to see you as well. How have you been, _Minamino-san_?" I stressed his last name, praying he would get the hint. I didn't want to be familiar with him.

"I've been well, Utsuda-san. And you?" He caught on. I breathed a soft sigh of relief.

"I've been good." I ignored the sound of the filing drawer opening.

"I wasn't aware that you were working here…"

"Internship."

"Ah. I see."

A long hush fell over us as I continued to file with a word. I fell into a rhythm of file, shift, file, check, file, shit, file, check…

"You look very good." I stopped and glanced over at him. He wouldn't meet my eyes as he pulled a few files while placing some back. A blush crept over my cheeks. I turned away and hid my cheeks.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." I shuffled through the files for a certain place and couldn't seem to find it. I knew it was partly because my head was so filled with distracting thoughts.

"So how long have you worked here?" I asked without thinking and immediately mentally slapped myself for speaking. I could hear the smile in his voice when he answered.

"Around five years…"

I paused. Five years. He was working here four years ago. Keiko must have known that! Why didn't she tell me?! I felt my ire rise and my face flush. "Oh. I see."

I didn't hear him move, but I certainly knew when he was beside me. His scent invaded me and made my eyes flutter closed. When I opened them, I turned my head just enough to look at him. He was watching me; no studying me. Like he always had a habit of doing with people.

"Utsuda-san, would you care to join me for dinner this evening?"

My throat ran dry. My head screamed 'NO!', my body screamed 'YES!', and my heart fluttered without a word. I opened my lips with every intention to say 'hell no' when, "yes, I'd like that," spilled out. He smiled civilly.

"All right then. When do you get off?"

I grumped mentally at my stupid hormones. "Five pm."

"I shall meet you in the lobby at five then." He turned and left the filing room. As soon as the door shut, my knees gave out. I hit the floor with a thwump. I hit my forehead against the cool metal filing cabinet before me.

"I'm such an idiot…" I grumbled and hit my head a few more times. After another five minutes of self-loathing, I picked myself up like big girl and finished up my task. As I stepped out, one of the other interns rushed over to me.

"Did I just see that correctly? Was _the_ Minamino-san in the filing room _with _you…_alone_?"

"Yes, Sugawa-san. You did see correctly." I sighed and continued toward where my small cubicle was located. I still had some online filing to finish up before five. She trailed alongside me, gushing the whole way.

"Oh my! Oh my, my, my! Did he say anything to you? Did he smile at you? What happened? Did he smell as good as the rumors?" I stopped and stared at her confusedly. She paused and looked back at me. "Well?"

"Smell good?"

"Well, yeah! There's rumors that he's really sweet and polite and smells _so_ good."

I barked out a laugh and covered my mouth. His reputation was a rather humorous one. What man wanted to be known by his smell?

"What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry. I just think he'd look rather shocked if he knew what rumors say about him." I shook my head.

"You say that like you know him." She frowned.

"I do."

That certainly got her attention. "What?! You _know him_?! How?"

I thought back four years ago and fought the heat that threatened to attack my face. "Through a mutual friend. My best friend is engaged to one of his best friends."

"No way! That's amazing!" The beam of adulation in her eyes made something in my chest tighten and squeeze. I don't know why I said what I did next, but it flew out before I could stop it.

"Yes. We're having dinner tonight." I said nonchalantly with a shrug. Her jaw dropped. I knew I'd just sealed a warrant for my death with all the females on staff from the way Sugawa-san talked about him. But honestly, at the moment, I didn't care.

"H-how did-?"

"Even old friends need time to catch up." I said softly and waved lightly at her, heading to my cubicle. I left her behind with a small sense of satisfaction that left me feeling both good and ill.

**…..**

I walked into the lobby, a bit frazzled. At the last minute, I'd been dumped with a pile of files to shred. Kawanari-san, my superior, had seemed rather put off by me as she'd glared while dropping the stack on my desk. She claimed that it was a priority. I knew it was a load of crap. How was shredding files in exactly ten minutes a priority when your superior was leaving for the day anyway? I bit my cheek and smiled brightly at her. Fight fire with sweet-tea, as my father used to say. I finished, but I was off by five minutes. Getting downstairs _took another_ five minutes and I was rushing up to Suuichi at easily fifteen after five. He looked up at me from where he stood and I was instantly a naïve eighteen year old girl standing on a dark porch with this very same man. He hadn't changed much at all. He'd grown slightly taller, but that was about it. I prayed I looked older and more mature than I did all those years ago. I approached him slowly and apprehensively.

"Sorry for my tardiness. I was rather swamped with priority paper shredding." I'd learned to keep my venom at bay when things displeased me. It was a trick you had to learn how to do when you were in business school. Those who were always positive and happy got by. Kiss-ups did too, unfortunately. By the amused tilt to his lips and the upturn of his eyebrow, I knew he saw the change too.

"Paper shredding is a priority? Fancy that." He teased as he held out his elbow to me. I slid my hand onto the crook of his elbow.

"Apparently so." I smiled and walked with him outside.

"Do you have anything in particular you'd like to eat tonight?"

"My, my, Suuichi…I thought you'd have that all planned out?"

"So I am back to Suuichi now?" He smirked. I cursed. I hadn't meant to slip.

"I suppose for this one time occasion."

A soft chuckle answered me. "You've definitely grown up quite a bit since I saw you last."

"Careful, Suuichi. You almost sound indecent when you say things like that." I glanced to my right, feeling like I was being watched. I fought the urge to shudder as my eyes met a ghastly creature that was half whole half…something disgusting I wasn't going to dwell on. It was glaring back at me. I turned my head sharply away from the grisly _thing_. I was not going to acknowledge it; to acknowledge it was to acknowledge that I might be losing my sanity. That was something I wasn't about to do. Suuichi looked at me curiously before leading me away from the thing. It was almost as though he could see it…but I pushed that thought aside. Coincidence.

"There is a nice little restaurant just down the main drag from here. Italian."

"That sounds nice."

**…..**

Dinner was a quiet affair with small chit-chat interlaced through long pauses of hushed tones surrounding us. I ate slowly and carefully so as not to look ridiculous in front of him. Why I bothered to care was beyond me. I watched a couple a few tables over from our small corner tuck-in booth table. They smiled at one another and shared long glances and brief touches. She would tip her head back and laugh at something he'd say. He's smile at her like the world spun in her eyes. He would tuck a stray strand behind her ear. She'd blush and smile shyly at him. They'd talk softly. I could imagine what they'd talk about. Plane trips to exotic places? The honeymoon they'd plan painstakingly? The children they'd have how they'd raise them? Perhaps even the simple pleasures they found in each other's company? A sharp stab of longing twisted its handle in my heart. Surely I could have that someday? I nearly scoffed aloud. Of course not. My mother and father loved each other like that once upon a time…then mother lost her mind and father refused to face it. He fled back to his home country, leaving me behind to pick up the pieces and try to move on without them both. In one moment, one severely cruel moment, I'd been robbed of everything. I choked on the pain that rose. I set my fork down.

"I'm sorry, Suuichi…I-I can't. I can't do this." I stood and slid from the booth. I quickly set my half of the dinner money down before I walked away from the table. I was sure he'd hate me tomorrow. In fact, I was certain he'd tell me I was just a selfish little girl who still hadn't grown up. I stepped outside the restaurant into the cool air and ultimately into the rain that had started. Of course it'd choose now to rain down upon me. Cliché movie scenes ran through my head that made me gag. I wasn't the beautiful girl who fled the man only to have him chase me down and confess his undying love. I wasn't that woman. I never would be. I turned and stepped into the rain, feeling like it was somehow perfect as the cool icy chill of the droplets slid over my exposed flesh and sank into the material that covered me. I got a block, tops before I was suddenly grabbed. I screamed only to have it muffled by a large hand. I was roughly yanked into an alleyway out of sight. I clawed at the hand and tried to fight back, failing. The part that stung more than anything was the name I cried into my muzzle was one that hurt more than what I knew was about to happen to me. _Suuichi._ My back hit the dumpster hard, knocking the wind from me. I was certain I was bleeding from a gouge in my back. I fell to the dirty, wet ground and tried to rise. I was forced back down. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see it. Maybe if I ignored it; maybe if I sank into a place no one else could touch me…it'd be all over with quickly and I'd not be the wiser. A sharp crack to my head made my stomach lurch and my mind swim with the falling raindrops. I groaned and rolled my head to the side. I emptied the contents of my stomach. A cruel, rolling laugh echoed around me. Ironic. Irony…it tasted bitter. Here I was, the damsel in distress. Too bad prince charming never got the memo. A bitter laugh fell free from me. I could see the memo now; _Hey, P. Charming…when you get the chance, tonight I'm going to have some guy try to rape me in a back alleyway. He may even try to kill me. Come save me? Yours truly, D.I.D. _Claws stroked over my flesh. Wait…claws? My eyes snapped open. Half man half disgusting was hovering over me, leering. Oh fuck me. Of course. Did I say irony tasted bitter? Well, here was a heavy dose of it. _My own head was going to rape me._ I dropped my head back and started to laugh hysterically.

"Insane one, aren't we?" Its voice sizzled like water over sauna rocks. "Fine with me." Its claws were back. They dug into my flesh and wrenched a cry from me. I looked into its bright eye and dead eye. It could hurt me? No. That wasn't possible. But if _it_ wasn't, was I hurting myself? That was even more frightening to me. Was I actually doing this to myself? Was I farther gone than my mother? It licked its lips and opened a mouth full of serrated teeth. My blood ran cold. Something was wrong here. I may have been crazy; I may even have a pretty damn screwed up head. But I was pretty sure I couldn't have made up something this seriously scary. Its teeth rotated like a freaking chainsaw for god's sake! I felt a scream rising in my throat. I scrambled backward only to hit the dumpster. Panic gripped my heart. It hunched its back and lunged. I screamed again, throwing my arms up to cover my face. Something sliced through the air with a resonating crack. Warm splotched hit me simultaneously all over. Dull thuds slapped wet pavement around me and even onto me. I opened my eyes, wondering if I was alive. That was the moment I realized two things. One; I wasn't insane. Two; Suuichi wasn't what he claimed to be.

He stood over me, a dark savior shrouded in dark shadow. A green, thorned whip was clutched in his hand. His blood colored hair was rather symbolic as it darkened with the moisture seeping into it. His eyes were dark, calculating. He looked at me without emotion. He shifted and I flinched. He froze before he moved to hold his hand out me; the one without the whip. As he watched me closely as if to gauge what I would do, I felt the dams in my eyes crumble. I lifted my trembling hand and set it within his. He tugged me to my feet. I didn't look around me. I didn't dare. If I looked, I'd have to admit that it happened. My mind couldn't do that just yet. Instead, I stepped up to him and buried my face in his suit-front. I cried my heart out. A wet thump sounded before his arms encircled me and held me tightly. I stood there for such a long time. Another scent mingled with his that night. Copper; blood.

**…..**

I sat in the living room on a couch, huddled in the blanket and staring into the steaming cup of tea. Keiko sat beside me, rubbing my back and murmuring softly that everything was going to be okay. That I was okay. Truth be told, I wasn't so sure I was. I had tuned out the low tones of Yusuke and Suuichi speaking in the other room a long time ago. It hit me like a freight train, straight to the chest. I'd been in this kind of situation before. I snapped up straight and turned to stare into the next room. That night, back at the temple seemed so long ago but it rushed into my head so fast I wasn't too sure I wouldn't get whiplash. Yusuke talking to someone named _Kurama_ who sounded just like Suuichi. There was a reason for that; Suuichi _was_ Kurama.

Keiko moved and frowned. "Riko…? Are you okay?"

"Kurama." I said it softly, testing it. An instant hush fell over everyone as the two men stepped into the room with a cautious glance at one another.

"Where have you heard that name, Nariko?" Suuichi stated softly, carefully.

"The temple." I stated and stared into green eyes. "Yusuke said called someone '_Kurama_' at the temple in the middle of the night. I went to get food but overheard you talking about demons. Or something. And Yusuke, you referred to someone as _'Kurama'._ _Suuichi _and _Kurama_ both sounded like the same person."

Keiko shifted, looking at Yusuke and back at me. Yusuke leaned against the wall and blew out a long sigh while running a hand through his gelled hair. Suuichi was pensive while he stood with his arms crossed. He looked over at me. I met his serious expression.

"Is your name Suuichi or Kurama?" I pressed. Keiko moved to take the tea into the kitchen.

"Here, let me get you something to eat…"

"No. I'm not hungry. I'm tired; I'm scared; I'm so fucking confused that I feel like a goddamned crazy person!" I grabbed my head with both hands. "I'm seeing monsters, crazy things from the corner of my vision and they are attacking me! Hurting me! I need to fucking know if it's _ME_ that's messed up! If I'm insane, I want to know!"

Keiko sat back down with a soft sight. "You're not insane."

"Keiko…" Yusuke's voice was worried and warning.

"No, Yusuke. She's right. She has the right to know. This isn't the first time she's been attacked!" Keiko looked over the back of the couch at Yusuke.

"Yeah, but—"

"Yusuke…please. Nariko is our friend…would you want to send her back out there into the world thinking she'd _insane_ and have a mental breakdown not knowing the truth?"

Yusuke shifted and sighed heavily. "Shit. When ya put it that way…"

Keiko looked back at me. I stared at her, desperate. "What you've been seeing…experiencing, is real. You're not insane. I wasn't sure if your mother's condition was actually insanity or misdiagnosed supernatural abilities."

I blinked repeatedly. I felt tears sting. "Seriously, Keiko? You think _now_ is a good time to poke fun at me? After everything I've been through?" I stood up quickly.

Keiko shook her head. "No! I'm not kidding! Please, hear me out!"

I turned and glared at the men. "Is this funny to you?!"

Suuichi met my angry gaze. "What is more unbelievable, Nariko? That monsters are real and are attacking you or that you are unconsciously throwing yourself around an alleyway with enough force to knock the wind out of yourself?"

"Then answer me this, _Suuichi_, why are they attacking _me?_"

"To that, I have no answer." He said calmly with a slight shrug.

"How can you not have an answer!?"

"If we could show you something…crazy…would you believe us?" Yusuke asked softly, serious. Yusuke was never so…calm and quiet. It scared the shit out of me to be very honest. But, it also made me feel a little more comforted that he wasn't kidding.

"I…I suppose. I really don't know."

Yusuke looked at Kurama. They exchanged silent looks; it seemed as if a very tense conversation happened between them with no words physically spoken before Suuichi turned to me. He reached into the hair at the nape of his neck. When he pulled his hand free, a rose was held loosely in his hand. I stared at it and opened my mouth to comment when a glowing light enveloped it. In a moment it was ten feet long and the same type of whip he'd had in the alleyway. I fell back onto the couch, staring wide-eyed at the whip. I looked up at Keiko as if to ask if I was really seeing it. She smiled weakly.

"This is mild, trust me. Yusuke can shoot glowing energy from his finger for miles. There's a lot to adjust to. I've been there, so I understand how you feel right now."

"You…do you-?" I asked weakly.

"No." Keiko sat down, shaking her head. "I'm not psychic or…unique. I'm fully human."

I looked at Yusuke who nodded and grinned foolishly. "You're not kidding…" I breathed.

"No. We are quite serious, Nariko. And what we've just told you and demonstrated broke many Spirit World laws."

I looked to Suuichi and tried to grasp words. They evaded me. I sat on Keiko and Yusuke's couch, ingesting and digesting the beginning of what would be a long journey of understanding just what exactly was real in the world I thought I knew.

* * *

_Well, there you have it. Her first taste of the supernatural. I can imagine feeling what she's feeling if I had the same happening to me. I know Kurama seems rather…out of character, but remember…this is from Nariko's perspective of him. She views him and perceives him as kind of a pompous, sexy, asshole. But that will change in time! ;D_

_Please leave a review on your way out!_

_**Erika Hearken**_


	6. Hell's Remedy

**E.H.**

_Whew! Aiyiyiyi! I will be updating SPTL (lol…funny looking!) tonight. So if you're reading that one too, updates are on their way! Shizuru's giving me trouble! As for this fiction…umm…I really don't have much to say until the end of the chapter. So, please enjoy!_

_Thanks **SakiHanajima1 **and **Mizz Ri** for the reviews! EDIT: And also a bit thanks to you **NoWarningSignsNoAlibi** for your review as well! Sorry, the site glitched when I posted this so it didn't get this up! So sorry! _

* * *

**Hell's Remedy**

I've heard saying before about situations like my life at current. Phrases that seemed to be generic yet somehow fit so perfectly. Things like; _'Waiting for the other shoe to drop.' _ Or; _'When it rains, it pours.' _Although my personal favorite saying had to be; _'If it sounds too good to be true, it is!' _I sighed as I stirred my noodles absently while sitting at my desk. I hadn't felt like joining the girls' for a lunch out at a local diner. My computer monitor blinked at me as if confused as to why I was still there. I thought back to last week when I found out about Suuichi being this Kurama guy as well as being a gifted psychic. The night before, I'd had another little…_'visitor'_ as I'd begun terming them. It was tiny; barely big enough to be noticed. It was on my window sill outside my kitchenette. It stared at me and leered. I really don't know what came over me. I reacted without though, to be quite honest. I ducked under the sink and grabbed window cleaner. I threw open the window and sprayed him liberally through the screen. He screamed and tried to get away. I smacked the screen and launched him. I'd then slammed the window shut, locked it tightly up and ran to my phone. I called Keiko and got Yusuke. In a frantic frenzy, I spilled everything in full detail to Yusuke. What I'd gotten in response was laughter that echoed through _my_ apartment from my phone. I had to reiterate that yes, I did in fact spray it with window cleaner and yes, I did smack launch him with a smack. Apparently this was too damned hilarious to breathe. I had hung up flustered and pissed. It hadn't been funny to me!

I sighed. My head was propped on my hand, staring down into my cooling instant noodles. Suuichi sat on my desk and drew my attention. An instant heat fell over me. It wasn't like the kind that came from embarrassment either. His eyes were glittering; that meant two things. He was either extremely amused or highly aroused. A quick flicking glance told me it was the former rather than the latter. I realized what I'd done and fought the blush that demanded to take up residence on my face.

"I heard you had an interesting experience with a little _'visitor'_." He started conversationally.

"Not in the mood to be made fun of…_again._"

"Not at all, Nariko. Rather, I'm impressed. It takes bravery to confront something unknown so quickly with simple weapons. Although, I would suggest that next time, you use something more acidic in nature. Bleach would be more sufficient."

"I had little time to think. It glared at me and made a nasty face. I attacked. I don't want to be a victim anymore…I'm sick of it."

I stilled as his hand tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "You are no victim, Nariko." I swallowed the lump in my throat as he stood and left me.

I turned and watched him leave. Our past was rocky at best; but no matter what happened in the past…dear gods did the man have a backside that was divine. I turned back to my now cold meal and dumped it in the garbage. I set to finish my work early. I wanted to get out of here. My brain wasn't one to focus well under such stressing environments.

**…..**

I visited my mother on the weekend. I sat in the room with her; watching her drugged stare as she focused out the window. I wondered idly if she was seeing something out there. I looked outside and saw nothing. No _'visitors'_ hung around. I sighed and turned to stare at the wall in thought. The doctor I had said she'd done very well the past month. She'd only had four episodes. One of them had left her nearly comatose. That one worried me most. I couldn't help but wonder what she'd seen that had scared her that badly. She made a noise that drew my attention instantly. I stood and moved to her wheelchair. She touched her fingertips to the glass. At first I thought there was nothing there. As I was about to wheel her away from the window, I froze. I stared out the window. Suuichi stood on the lawn across from her window. He waved absently at me through the window and gestured at me with a small bouquet of brightly colored flowers. I glanced at mother. She looked at me. I could have sworn there was a moment of lucidity in her eyes before they deadened again. I sighed and nodded.

"I'll go get him, all right, Mother?" She tilted her head as if trying to remember who I was. It hurt. I turned quickly and left the room. I headed for the elevator. We were on the second floor, so it wasn't that long to wait. I headed for the lobby and met Suuichi. I approached him with a small smile. It was supposed to be a frown. "What are you doing here?"

"Keiko told me that you were visiting your mother today. She suggested flowers for your mother."

I stared at the bouquet and blinked back the urge to let a few stray tears fall. I nodded and signed him in on the visitor's clipboard before leading him to mother. We stepped into the elevator. The smell of the flowers mixed with him was a heady mix. I led him to mother's room. I stepped back inside.

"Mother? We have a special visitor today. My friend Suuichi is here to see you."

Mother didn't reply. She just stared out the window. Suuichi smiled reassuringly at me before moving to kneel beside mother. "Hello, Utsuda-san. I brought some flowers. I hope you like carnations and daisies."

Mother turned a little and gasped. Her eyes widened.

"Fox." She said softly. I frowned and moved to mother's side.

"Mother?"

She repeated it again. "Fox!" She pointed at Suuichi. I looked at him confused. I blinked and then rolled my eyes.

"No, mother. Suuichi just has red hair." I felt my hope diminish. She wasn't seeing what I saw. She was truly insane. So much for that. I turned away from her and crossed the room to escape to the bathroom. I stepped inside the small bathroom and closed the door. I leaned heavily over the sink. I hadn't realized just how much hope I'd placed in the idea of her seeing the same things I was. After a bit, I stepped back out and smiled at him. "I'm just about ready to head out. How about you?"

He nodded and smiled, fixing the vase he'd placed the flowers in with fresh water. "Yes."

I gathered my items and headed for the door with Suuichi. "Goodbye mother, I'll see you soon. All right?" I spoke to the practically empty room.

"Bring fox…again…?" I froze. I turned and looked at my mother. She was still staring out the window. But for a moment there, I'd heard her in the drugged shell. I looked at Suuichi who shrugged.

"Y-yes. I'll bring Suuichi-san again. I love you." My voice broke on the simple statement. I had to leave quickly. Suuichi didn't ask or press as I rushed out of the building. It wasn't until we reached the bus stop that I turned and looked at him hopelessly. "I thought there was a chance…somewhere in there…that she was still there. That, maybe, she wasn't insane after all. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. But she called you a _fox_ and stared into dead space. I placed hope...into a hopeless place." I sighed and ran my hands over my face. He pulled me into his arms and held me close.

"Don't give up. Never give up until there is truly no hope left."

"How do I know when that is?" I cried, looking up at him.

"When there is no life left in her." His eyes were distant while he looked at me. I had the distinct feeling he wasn't referring to my mother or me. We stepped apart as the bus pulled up. We boarded together. I stood, holding onto the bar. Suuichi stood behind me, holding the bar in front of me as well. In most circumstances, I'd feel uncomfortable by the closeness and heat rolling from his body so close to me. Instead I felt warm and secure. I stared blankly at the floor of the bus where the pole rose from up to connect with the overhead bars. My mind was a fuzzy place that made little sense. The bus hit a pothole and I jostled back against Suuichi's chest. His free arm steadied me with my left arm. I didn't pull away. I leaned further into his warmth. His hand slid from my arm to encase me to him. A businessman next to us cleared his throat and shuffled a little further from us. An older lady shot us a disapproving glance. I ignored them but felt slightly curious if Suuichi would mind. I got my answer. He tightened his embrace and dipped his head to inhale my hair. The motion was rather primitive and made my limbs chill and heat. I almost missed my stop. I whispered to him, knowing he could hear me, that it was my stop. He released me. I moved off the bus. My heat hit pavement and a sigh escaped me. I still had another stop. I turned to wave to Suuichi out of politeness and nearly jumped out of my skin to see him right behind me. I frowned but didn't comment as I walked to the next bus stop for my transfer. I sat on the bench while he leaned against the structure's wall.

"Why are you still here?" I asked softly, without menace for once.

"You aren't ready to be alone."

So simple; so easy to say. So damned true. I nodded and looked away from him to watch the street.

"Do you think I'm insane?"

"I'm fairly certain you already know the answer to such a question. Why then would you ask?"

"You saw my mother." It was a stale whisper. "Genetics are hard to beat."

"Impossible really."

I threw a sharp look his direction. "And you wonder why I ask?"

"Because I know you are not. Nor…do I believe your mother is."

I turned quickly and stared at him incredulously. "She called you a _fox_."

"Indeed."

"Suuichi, you are anything but a fox."

"Perhaps." He looked away from to stare across the street. "What did you see that night at the temple?"

It took me a long moment to recall what incident he was speaking of. I had tried to suppress it. It never let me be for the last four years. I dreamed it constantly; it was a nightmare I couldn't escape. I blew out a long breath, sitting back.

"It's not something I want to talk about here where just anyone walking by could overhear…"

"So you'll finally tell me?"

"Maybe if I tell _someone_ it will stop haunting me."

He nodded, accepting my answer. "Where would you prefer to talk?"

I bit my bottom lip. "My home?"

"As you wish." He nodded as a bus came around the corner. "Is this the connecter?"

I looked to read the number of the bus. "Yes."

**…..**

I poured hot, steaming tea into two mugs. I walked over to my 'couch' which was really my bed and held out one to Suuichi. I looked at him sheepishly.

"Sorry for the inconvenience. My father only helps me out so much. I had to get something small." I sat down beside him and sipped my tea.

"Are you able to make your bills?" He asked softly, looking around. I shrugged.

"I make due."

He flashed me a look I'd learned meant, _'Don't lie to me.'_ I rolled my eyes.

"I make due, Suuichi. Sometimes it cuts close, but I still find ways to make it work."

His eyes scanned me from head to toe. I looked away, pretending not to be affected by his look. He crossed his legs elegantly and turned to look at me rather haughtily. "From now on, three nights a week, I will be taking you to dinner. Whether it is dining out or with me at home."

I looked back and opened my mouth to protest. He held up his hand in that way that managed to piss me off enough to actually make me fall silent as I stewed over the action.

"This is not up for negotiation, Nariko. Now, back to the reason we came here." Of course he wouldn't let it go or drop it. I knew he wouldn't, but there is always room to hope, right?"

I turned to face him while curling my legs up under me. I held my mug in my hands, resting them in my lap. I stared into the brown liquid thoughtfully. "I remember blood. Seeing a _lot_ of blood and feeling sorrow. I remember an animal's silver tail swishing by; lying on the cold ground with blurry eyes. I remember being in pain and wondering when it would end. I remember seeing a woman yet also seeing from her eyes. A sense of duality while watching her washing over me each time…" I paused and shook my head.

"Can you describe her?" He asked softly, seeming generally interested in both my story and my emotions.

"She's beautiful." I heard the awe I felt resonate from my tone. "She doesn't look like she could possibly be dying; like she was preserved somehow. Almost doll-like with her pale skin. She has golden eyes that border on amber with silver-blue hair that flows around her like an ethereal halo. She's always dressed in an odd, pale blue kimono without sleeves and with white pants. She looks so sad and lonely yet also understanding that she's going to die." I shook my head and looked up into his green eyes. I stared. He was dumbstruck. That was the only word I could use to describe him. His eyes were ever so slightly wider than usual; his breathing was just a tad bit faster. "Suuichi?"

He slid his gaze away from mine. "What other details can you tell me?"

"It seemed like she was waiting for someone and dreading they'd come after all." I watched him close his eyes as an unusual expression crossed his features. Regret? Loathing? Self-deprecation? I honestly wasn't sure. I reached over and touched his arm. His eyes were back on me. I parted my lips to say his name. His eyes shifted to my lips instantly. I shut them instead and turned away. I wasn't about to reopen _that_ file. It was almost a physical ache to turn from him. I raised my cup to my lips and sipped the cup. "At least, that's what I gathered from my dreams. I only saw flashes through my mind the first time at the temple."

"Have you ever had memories spring up that don't belong to you? Perhaps of a man or of another time?"

I frowned as I thought about a couple of dreams that started the same way leading up to that same death scenario each and every time. I nodded slowly. "Sort of. The only thing I see is forest rushing past me while fleeing from a group of really strong people. I think most of them are men, but there's at least one woman among them. Then bursts of pain and the strong sense of failure before the same death again. I've only dreamt this maybe three times in the last four years." I shrugged as if it was unimportant.

"Nothing else?"

I turned to him with raised eyebrow. "What? Are you wanting me to say I see you in some dreams? That maybe we were star-crossed lovers in the past so you can say something cheesy and get in my pants? The answer is no. I don't. I don't even see the person she's waiting for and dreading for him to show up."

"Him?" He asked, shifting while ignoring my jests. I rolled my eyes.

"It's rather obvious isn't it? She's dying. Most people thing of the one person they love most when they die. I get the feeling from her that she's waiting for a man of some sort. That's it though. Why are you so persistent about this?"

"Naturally, I'm curious." He stated a little defensively. I snorted. We fell into an annoyed silence with each other. After a bit I rose.

"Would you like some more tea?"

"If I may." He held up his mug to me. I smiled and took it. He gently grabbed my wrist. I stared down at him. I suddenly felt like he was asking me for something else. If I stood there staring into his stunning eyes much longer I'd not be able to walk away.

"Of course you may." I said softly, pulling away. I turned and moved to the kitchen. His gaze burned my back as I walked into my kitchenette. I started fixing the tea when I felt him behind me. Both of his hands rested on the counter edge on either side of me. He leaned against me and rested his chin on my shoulder. It was a very…_close_ gesture. I stilled and turned to look at him sideways. "Suuichi…what…are we doing? I need to know."

"We are simply enjoying one another's company." He replied. "Does it need to be given a title to be understood?"

"You broke my heart." I blurted before I could think. He looked pained as he turned his face away from me; from my line of vision. I tried to back pedal. "That didn't come out right. I meant…I mean…"

"You meant what you said, Nariko. And you're right. I did. However, it isn't for the same reason you think."

"You know what I think?" I scoffed lightly and turned back toward the sink. Instead of forcing him away, I leaned slightly into his chest. "Don't be stupid, Suuichi. It isn't becoming of you."

"Pardon?" The mugs fell with a clatter as he was lifting me slightly at the middle. I made a sound of surprise and actually giggled. "I'm afraid I misheard you."

"You misheard nothing! I said don't be stupid!"

"That just will not do." He chuckled in my ear and moved me from the kitchenette. I was on my bed in moments while he tickled my sides relentlessly.

"S-Stop! I-I can't…b-b-breathe!"

"I shall not until I receive an apology!"

"N-ne-never!"

"Then prepare yourself, Nariko! I can do this all night."

I threw my head back and laughed hard as I struggled with his hands. He was far too strong for me to stop. I bucked and a tried to kick, failing miserably. My brain was muddled with the desperation to get away from his tickling hands that I completely forgot the reasons why I didn't want him close to me again.

"M-mercy! I concede!" I screamed through my peals of laughter. He paused and leaned over with an upturned brow.

"Well?"

"I'm s-sorry…" I managed before sticking my tongue out at him. He snorted and leaned back on his knees.

"That's a bit childish, don't you think?"

"Oh! So you can call me childish but I can't call you stupid?"

"Ah, but you see, _stupid _and I are completely unrelated."

I sat up and play-shoved him. "Jerk!"

He caught my arms and laughed. I grinned at him. We sat like that for a long time. His laughter had died off and our eyes had locked. In retrospect, I should never have let him come home with me that night. In retrospect, if I hadn't let him come home with me that night…things would have stayed neutral and within the friend zone. Or so I tried to tell myself later on. But in that moment, the world ceased to exist. It was Suuichi and it was me. When he leaned into me, I didn't fight. I honestly don't think I could have if I'd tried. I met him half-way. Our lips met and arms tangled around each other. When he kissed me, it was like my very lungs expelled a joyous victory cry only to breathe him in fully. I wasn't fully aware of how, but I was soon wearing nothing but my underwear as was he. He trailed kisses down my neck and collarbone. I dropped my head back to give him better access to me. My breathing came quickly; each rise and fall of my chest brushed my sensitive flesh over his. He pressed me into the mattress and I moved to accommodate him. I could feel how affected he was by me as his desire pressed against the inside of my thigh. I wanted to cry. I couldn't explain why, but I felt so disastrously close to tears with no real reason I could understand. I pulled my feet up and hooked his waistband. I pushed his underwear down slowly until he shed them the remaining distance. His mouth trailed over my breasts slowly, sensuously before moving lower. He gripped my underwear with his teeth and torturously moved them down inch by inch. He tossed them aside and lifted my right foot. He placed a soft kiss to the arch of my foot. I stared at him from down over my body. His eyes were locked on mine without faltering. He then lifted my other foot and did the same before trailing slow, soft kisses up my legs. My breath hitched as I stared him. My eyes spilled. I wanted to curse as the tears rushed down my temples into my hair. I covered my face in mortification. I could feel the stiffening in his body. He breathed softly and leaned over me, prying my hands from my face carefully.

"Nariko…look at me…" Why did he have to be so damned gentle? I opened my eyes and glared at him.

"Why do you do this to me?" I tried to scream it at him but my voice just cracked.

"Nariko…" He kissed my cheeks and wiped my tears away. It was futile as more tears flooded over his fingertips. "I won't leave you again like I did last time."

"You can't promise that!" I shuddered and threw my arms around him. "I hate you…I hate you so much…but I…I can't…"

"Shhh…" In that one sound, I heard the pain my words caused. I hated myself. God, I fucking hated myself! He held me tenderly. "Nariko, let me make love to you."

I choked on a sob and nodded instead of trying to talk. He touched me then. I clung to him like a freaking psychotic slut. I hated it. But I loved the way he touched me. If only I'd known then what I really felt. It wouldn't have hurt as much. But they say hindsight is twenty/twenty. I came before I could work up the thought process to understand what was happening. As my body spasmed, he slowly entered me. It did hurt, but at the same time…it felt right. The way he fit inside me was like that jigsaw puzzle I'd once compared him to. As if I was made to hold just him inside me. When he moved, I gasped and arched into him. He groaned in my ear.

"Suuichi…" I breathed him in. How could I have forgotten how he felt?

"Have you lain with anyone since me?" He asked quite suddenly, moving slowly. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear he was hesitating. I closed my eyes and smiled a bittersweet smile.

"No one else ever came close to being worth it." I answered honestly. He sighed. I chuckled. "What? Were you seriously worried?"

"I don't like sharing." He replied easily before he moved quicker and harder. I couldn't think clear enough to answer. I moaned deeply as he thrust within me. I met him, thrust for thrust. We created a strange dance with our hips and lips. Our lips locked together while my ankles locked around his back. I urged him faster with my legs. He obliged me. The coil I'd come to understand from that night so long ago coiled so tightly that I was afraid it'd break. He touched me and it broke. A flood of white-hot drowned me. I gasped and threw my head back. My mouth hung open on a silent scream as my body was skyrocketed into another universe. Wave after thunderous wave of amazing bliss crashed over me and dragged me out into the sea of my desire. He made a choked groaning noise and slammed himself home and stilled. A searing heat spread inside me as he shuddered over me. I knew when he finished; his muscles relaxed and he settled over me carefully. He rolled over and drew me onto his chest. I panted heavily as I laid upon him, completely spent.

"I…don't like you sharing…" I finally found my voice and mind. He blinked before he laughed. I looked at him with a weak glare. "Stop…laughing."

He looked at me with warm eyes. He stopped laughing out loud, but his chest still moved with his suppressed chuckles. He reached up and brushed my sweat caked hair from my face. His face softened as he stared at me. I crossed my arms over his chest and rested my chin on them.

"What?" I asked quietly.

He looked like he desperately wanted to say something but he smiled and shook his head. "Merely thinking. Pay me no heed." I should have asked but I let it go. I closed my eyes and rested my face on him. He ran his hand through my hair idly and lazily. "Might I be allowed to stay the evening? It is, after all…rather dark out and I really don't find the idea of walking home tonight appealing. Not with such a delicious, naked morsel lying atop me."

I looked up into his glittering eyes. I smiled lazily. "Of course, but I'm pretty sure you'll be fairly bored since I'm about to sleep."

He snorted and rolled me over. He proved me wrong. I didn't sleep until the earliest morning hours. He proved me to that though I may have been spent, my body would always crave more of him.

* * *

_/BLUSH/ So…ahem…yes. I have to say, writing this love scene was rather…intimate. I felt like I was intruding on them! It was weird! I really don't know what else to say! Kurama is such a…a…a…dang it! I can't even think of a term! But he's naughty! Well, I hope this chapter was a good read! Please review and let me know!_

_(Yup, Mizz Ri, her mommy made an appearance. And I posted a chappie for SPTL, Saki! Sorry! I finally got past a little block I had. I will try to update it again soon! This one just...flows out easier and faster.)_

_**Erika Hearken**_


	7. Let It Build Up

**E.H.**

_I'm so glad to see so many reviews of people actually wanting to read this fiction. To be honest, when I first posted the first two chapters, I wasn't sure anyone would actually like it since it's not…a normal take on a Kurama fiction. But, I'm really happy to see I was wrong there. Or at least, that's how I perceive it! Lol. _

_BIG thanks to ALL of you who reviewed! __**SakiHanajima1, Mizz Ri, NoWarningSignsNoAlibi, Hakudoushi **__(nice to see you again!)__**, **__and__** Anon. **__You guys are awesome._

* * *

**Let It Build Up**

I woke tangled in my bed alone. I stretched like a cat and winced as parts of me were sore. I pushed up onto my arm and rubbed my eyes with my other hand. I looked around my apartment. I thought back to the night before and rose from my bed. I wrapped a blanket loosely around myself and walked into my bathroom. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair quickly. I stared at my reflection. For once in a long time, I look well rested. I had to thank Suuichi for that much. I ignored the slight sting that knowing he'd just gotten up and left. A one night stand, huh? First I'd…wait. First _successful_ one night stand I'd had; ironically with the same man. Did that still make it a one night stand or a one failed night one successful night…oh fuck it. I didn't care. I dropped my blanket and started the shower. I stepped into the hot spray and sighed as I scrubbed my hair clean. Once my body was literally squeaky clean, I climbed out. I threw a towel around my body and dragged the blanket back to my bed. I threw it on the mattress half-assed. I paused and looked at the stains on my sheets. A blush mottled my cheeks and I turned away from it. I moved into my kitchen and started going through my cupboards for coffee. I came up empty. I leaned over my counter top and hit my forehead on the cool surface.

"Noooo…coffee…" I groaned sadly. I sighed heavily. "What now?" I stood up and opened my fridge. What greeted me was even sadder yet. I was down to orange juice, some day-old rice, and a bottle of soy sauce. The freezer wasn't much better. A single steak. I still had a full week before pay day and two weeks before father remembered he had a daughter somewhere in Japan and send me some money for rent and…well…rent. I was hungry too. I closed the fridge and moved to my bed. I was even with the door when it opened. I turned and squealed in surprise. I reacted instantly by grabbing whatever was nearest and hocking it with everything I had in me at the door. I saw red hair too late. I tried to scream at him to duck. He not only ducked, but caught the metal bowl for my keys. He stared at me blinking in confusion for a few moments before his eyes trailed over me. Throwing the bowl had made me clutch my towel loosely with one arm. It was dangling off me, barely concealing the important stuff.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I screamed. He moved inside the door and shut it.

"What are you doing standing naked in the room and throwing things?"

"You scared the shit out of me!"

"I was coming right back!"

"Well _I_ didn't know that! You didn't leave a note or anything!"

"You had no paper nor pens in which to do so!"

"Why did you leave anyway?" I said, finally calming down. He looked at me irritated and held up a paper bag and coffee carrier in an agitated fashion.

"You hardly have enough food to suffice for _one day_ let alone for a decent breakfast. I retrieved you some proper nourishment…and coffee." His eyes flashed with amusement as I felt my face light up. I bounced over to him.

"Coffee? You said coffee?"

"Nariko, you're naked. Please, go dress."

"What? Does my nudity bother you now?" I huffed.

"No. Instead it rather…distracts me."

I couldn't help it. My eyes flicked downwards and saw the slight evidence there. I blushed. "Oh." I quickly covered up more and moved to my dresser. I dragged out some clothes and moved to the bathroom to change. I crammed myself into a pair of tight jeans that I really needed to get rid of. They had so many holes and tears they were hardly decent anymore. I pulled a loose tank over my bra. I then came out and stared aghast at my bed. I rushed to it and began to quickly remake it. Once it was semi-decent, I turned and caught green eyes watching me with a large dose of mirth. He leaned like a sexy god against my kitchen counter, legs crossed at the ankles, arms crossed over his defined chest and drinking from his coffee cup as if he owned the place. In all honestly, at that point, I wasn't sure if he _didn't_ own _me_. I moved to where my coffee cup was and pulled it up to my face. I inhaled deeply and sighed loudly in content.

"Oooooh yeah, baby…coffee…"

"If I knew coffee gave you such pleasure, I would have worn coffee instead of cologne the other night."

I flashed him a sardonic smirk. "I wouldn't have played with you then. I would have bitten you."

I didn't miss the sudden heat in his eyes. "Do you think I would have protested much?"

My face heated and I looked away. I was talking rather…what was a good term for it…dirty with Suuichi. It was an odd mix that made me feel both awkward and excited. I chose to sip my coffee quietly. I stared at the bag. "What's in the bag?"

"Curious?"

I nodded, unashamed. He chuckled. He moved to the table and opened the bag. He drew out a few breakfast sandwiches that smelled divine. My stomach rumbled appreciatively at the scent. I reached and took one, unwrapping it. I bit into it and closed my eyes. It tasted as good as it smelled. Hard to accomplish in many places now.

"Do you always look like your experiencing pleasure while eating?"

I choked on my bite but managed to swallow it and chase it with coffee. I looked at him. "Do you have to say it so bluntly?"

"Would you rather I beat around the bush and pretend not to care?"

"Isn't that what guys are _supposed_ to do?"

"And I suppose you believe we grunt, beat our chests, and walk on our feet and knuckles as well?"

I imagined Suuichi doing just that and lost it. I had to lean on the table for support. He shook his head at me. I had no doubt he was assuming that I'd pictured it. I regained myself and steadied my breathing with effort.

"No. I don't believe that." I chuckled a bit on the last word and shook my head. I took another bite and enjoyed it while sitting down on the table. "What do you plan to do today?"

He leaned against the table and unwrapped a sandwich for himself. He took a bite and looked thoughtful. He swallowed. "I'm not entirely sure myself."

"You mean to say you don't plan out every day of your life meticulously to the minute?" I asked only half-jokingly.

"Contrary to your assumptions of me, no."

"Huh." I let it go at that. We finished eating in a comfortable quiet. I disposed of the trash while he cleaned up crumbs and any coffee stains on the table's surface. I moved to my bathroom and brushed my teeth again. Habit. I yanked my back and braided it. I secured it with a pony tail holder before turning and walked back out to my dresser. I dug for my yoga pants and a pair of socks. I found both and ignored the questioning look being thrown my directions. I changed quickly in the bathroom and came out. "I like to jog on the weekend." I answered his unspoken question.

"I see." He stated and moved toward me. "May I join you?"

I looked at his clothes and shrugged. "If you want. I'm not sure you'll be too comfortable wearing that, though."

He smiled a knowing smile as if I'd said a joke but I couldn't seem to find where it was in my words. "I believe I can manage."

I grabbed my keys and hooked them on a velcro strap that went around my calf under my pants. I stretched a bit and then headed out. Suuichi followed me and stopped outside my door. I closed it and had to retrieve my keys on an afterthought from my leg. I locked the door and replaced the strap. We walked down to the street level and crossed the rarely used road to the park. I nodded to him and started out on my jog. He kept pace with me well. I picked up the pace; he fell into step with me. I picked up the pace again and he nearly passed me. I kept testing him until we were both running. I took a corner into a grassy slope leading to a well-used storm runoff. I ran under the underpass and nearly face planted as my foot hooked on something. I stumbled and caught myself on a stack of crates some homeless guy probably piled there. I turned to look at what tripped me. A scream lodged itself in my throat as I recoiled. I hit solid muscle. Suuichi was behind me and spun me so that I didn't have to see it anymore. It was already too late; the sight would be etched in my eyelids forever. Whenever I'd think of jogging or runoffs, I'd see it. The mangled body twisted into impossible assemblies of limbs and…I really didn't want to know what else. What I _did_ know is that I saw _bite_ marks. I cowered into his chest as he quickly led me away from there. He led me to the grass slope on the other side of the underpass and guided me to sit. I was shaking. My stomach turned and I rolled quickly to the side to empty my stomach. I heaved until there was nothing left. Even then, I gagged and dry heaved several times before I managed to sit back. Suuichi helped me move farther to the side and rest my head between my knees. He assured me that he'd be right back. He walked farther down the slope away from me and back toward the…the…I gagged again. I shook my head. I watched him through watery eyes as he pulled what I assumed was a cell phone from his pocket. He opened it and began to talk. I couldn't hear a word he said, but that was just fine with me. I turned away and focused on breathing deeply. I wasn't sure how long it was before he returned to me.

"Come on, let's go."

"Are the authorities on their way?" I could hardly hear myself through my raw throat.

"Yes." He lied. I knew he lied. I could feel it in my bones and in the way his voice had come out cool, collected, and too calm. I didn't question it. That day I learned something that would stick with me through the years. When Suuichi's voice turned to steel, let it go. You didn't want to know.

**…..**

I sat across the table from Keiko, watching as she flipped through wedding magazines. The pictures were as colorful as they were beautiful. I sighed and pointed to a particular themed page.

"What about a nautical theme? You love the ocean."

Keiko looked at it and pursed her lips in though. "Yeah…but I can't really sea Yusuke on the beach in a tux."

The thought brought a chuckle and snort to me. "I suppose you're right there."

We flipped a few more pages as we ignored the people around us in the coffee shop. Keiko stopped on a theme. She stared at the page before shaking her head and moving on. A particular theme made her nose scrunch. I could see she really didn't like _that_ idea. I flipped the page quickly and stopped. Keiko did as well. She stared at the page. We both looked up at the same time, mirror images of the same grin.

"This!"

"That!" We said at the same time and giggled. I looked down at it again. "Peacock huh? I'm sure Yusuke's going to have a blast with the name. But the colors will be perfect."

"It's so pretty."

"It is." I traced the cake design. "Where do you think you'll get your cake done?"

"That's a good question." She answered. "Any ideas?"

"Not really." I shrugged.

"Well, I suppose we should probably get home. Yusuke's getting off work soon and I have papers to grade."

"Yeah. That's a good idea. I need to stop off at mother's clinic and check in on her. Should we set the time to meet up again next weekend?"

Keiko nodded. "Yeah. Same time and place?"

"It's a date." I shouldered my bag and rose from the seat. Keiko mirrored me and shouldered her book-bag and grabbed the magazine.

We parted ways at the door. I hopped the bus and rose to the bus stop next to mother's clinic. I walked quickly to the clinic and signed in. I mentally prepared myself for the emotional draining visit. I headed to the elevator. I rode up to the second level and walked to her room. I reached the door and stopped. It was open but that's not what made my body stop working. Laughter flowed from the room. Correction; _feminine _laughter floated to my ears. I moved inside the door. My bag slid from my shoulder and slammed against the tiled floor with a loud thud. I stared unblinkingly at the scene before me. Mother sat in her wheel chair, covering her mouth with a hand while laughing. Suuichi sat across from her in the middle of a story when he paused and looked over at me. He smiled at me and made a small waving motion with his hand. I met my mother's eyes. She looked at me with living eyes.

"Nariko-chan?" She smiled small and wheeled the chair over to me. "Fox-san came to see me again. He's been telling me all these funny tales about his friends and their special adventures."

"H-he has? Wait…bu-but…how?"

"Have you heard any of these stories?" She asked as she wheeled back to the window.

"No. I-I haven't." I walked after her and cast him a confused and cautious look. He shrugged innocently at me. "Have you taken your medicine recently?"

She looked out the window and away from me. "Of course."

I could tell it was a lie. I moved to her side and knelt down. "Mom…?"

She turned to look at me, her eyes looked dead again. I suddenly wondered if I'd imagined her life-filled eyed. A sinking feeling settled over me. I cast a glance at Suuichi to be sure I'd actually seen him. He was sitting there primly still. I looked back into a smiling face.

Her next words were a whisper, "convincing enough?"

I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding along with a soft sob. "H-how long?"

"Since you brought Fox-san the first time. He's been visiting me since, Riko-chan. In fact, if I continue to 'make progress' they'll release me in about two months at the earliest."

I looked at Suuichi in stunned silence. I didn't know what was going on, but somehow, I knew he'd done this. "Don't they measure your drug intake?"

Suuichi's smile turned mischievous and cunning. "Naturally some questions do not need answering nor _should_ they be answered."

I bristled at the intonation in his words. I knew a vague threat when I heard one. I blew out a long breath and ignored it. To be honest, there was something about Suuichi that scared me deep down within. I stood and narrowed my eyes at him. I gestured to the hallway.

"May I speak with you?"

"Of course." He rose and patted my mother's arm lightly before moving out of the room. I stepped into the hallway and shut the door quietly. I looked both directions down the hallway and then spun on him.

"What do you think you're doing?" I whisper/hissed. "She _needs_ her medication, Suuichi!"

His green eyes turned dark and seriously scared the shit out of me. He stepped closer to me. I backed into the wall. "I am helping your mother. Do you think so ill of me that I would do anything to harm her?"

"She's already suffered enough!" I cried breathlessly. "She thinks she _sees things that aren't there_. I mean, for God's sake, Suuichi! She calls you fox!"

"Has it ever occurred to you that she does see things? That perhaps she's far more perceptive to alternative realities than what _you alone_ seem to believe is acceptable or believable?"

I wasn't about to let him walk all over me. I leaned into him, trying to intimidate _him_. By the devilish smirk that crossed his features, I'd done nothing to intimidate him. "Do you think that just because we had sex once that this means you have a right to step into my world like this?" I pushed my pointer finger into his chest. "You don't get to make decisions when it comes to my mother!"

In a flash, I was pressed snugly against the wall while he leaned a forearm above my head and towered over me. When I looked up into his eyes, I knew then that he _allowed_ me to _think_ I could display dominance. In all truth, he'd always dominate me. I hated it. I'd always had to be my own person; to care for things because nobody else would. Now here was this man who was shoving my stupid weak, femininity in my face. He was pure dominance and power. He made my blood chill with fear and my stomach pool with desirous heat. I glared up at him, not giving up.

"No. I don't for a moment believe that sex gives me such right. However, unlike you…I _do_ know what your mother sees. Trust me in this, Nariko…there are some things you never wish to see."

I heard the whisper of the unspoken slide over my skin like silk. What I didn't physically hear was, _'You don't want to see what I really am.'_ I wanted it. Oh, gods how I wanted to know. I wanted to see what my mother saw. I'd learn to regret that in my later years. One stupid wish. The phrase, _be careful what you wish for_ should have been in neon lights. It may have helped stop me from saying what I did next.

"You let _me_ be the judge of what _I_ want to see. If there are things she sees that I can't…then _make_ me see."

By the look in his eyes, I had the sneaking suspicion that I'd just said exactly what he'd expected and _led_ me to say. He smirked and pushed away from the wall. "Be careful what you say, Nariko…sometimes the universe decides to give us _exactly_ what we wish for."

**…..**

I sat on my bed staring at the TV blankly. The sitcom was supposed to be hilarious but I couldn't even focus on it. I tried to sip my tea and pulled it away with a grimace. It had gone cold. I grunted and stood up, moving to the kitchen. I dumped the mug and fixed myself a new cup. I stared out the window and gave a start when I saw something dart through the trees in the park. I leaned closer to the window, squinting into the dark. I saw a flash of red hair and frowned. What the hell was Suuichi doing in the park across from my apartment? Ohhh…he was a dead man if he thought it was okay to stalk me! I snarled and stormed to the entry way. I tossed on my jacket and crammed my boots on. I grabbed my keys and left. I locked up and took the stairs at a jog. I darted across the street into the dark park. I headed in the direction I saw him disappear in. I neared the edge of the park that ran near the darker side of the city. A shrill cry of pain filled my ears. Panic rushed me. It sounded male…Suuichi… I ran in the direction it came from. No matter how mad I was at him, the sudden thought of him being hurt made my heart stop. I crashed through some low lying bushes and skidded to a halt. A short man dressed in all black with strange hair stood over a man with a sword. Blood glided from the blade as it glinted in the moonlight. The man looked at me through narrowed vermillion eyes. My heart leapt to my throat. The puddle of red that was quickly soaking the ground around the dead body filled the air with a thick scent. There are moments in life that stop. When everything slows to a stand-still and you are left feeling utterly alone and so damned small. When fear chokes you so profoundly that you aren't even sure you'll ever know how to breathe again. When you greet death face to face of your own faulting…there is the sick feeling of regret and stupidity. You feel like the only reason you're going to die is because _you_ were too _stupid_ to be suffered to live. And in that moment, you almost welcome death. Almost.

My right foot stepped back as I felt my petrified heart thunder once, twice. He shifted with my movement; a patient predator just awaiting the right time to spring. I don't know where it came from, but I had a sudden burst of energy. I didn't waste my time with thought. I bolted. However, instead of backward, as the man was waiting for me to do. I ran straight at him. Honestly, if asked now what the hell I was thinking, I'd tell you seriously that I had no fucking clue. I wasn't thinking. That was the problem. Fight or flight, they say. Apparently, I'm a fighter. Or I would be if I knew what I was doing. I darted to the side and slid to a stop, throwing a punch. I wasn't about to die here like this without giving him a taste of my wrath. His hand was a blur but my fist was caught in his hand with such ease it completely deflated me. His eyes shone with boredom and irritation. His hand flexed; _my_ hand _broke_. I screamed and dropped to my knees as the bones in my right hand snapped. He rolled his eyes and tossed my hand aside. I cradled it to me. I looked up at him; truly fearing for my life now.

The sword shifted toward me. I swallowed hard. This was it. He inhaled and froze, frowning at me. He suddenly sneered and growled. I knew he wasn't human then. I could almost feel it in my bones. If, you know, they weren't broken and throbbing.

"Hn." He turned and flicked the blood from the sword. "Thank the fox. He saved your useless life."

I frowned deeply and then blinked rapidly. He'd disappeared. One moment he was there, scary and fucking menacing and the next he was gone. I started to move to my feet and made a strangled cry as my hand protested harshly. I managed to get to my feet and moved around the dead body. I looked back at it and stared. It was no longer a man but a monster.

"What the fuck are you doin' here, Nariko!" I jumped and screamed not so much from the shock of hearing Yusuke but more so from the shooting pain in my hand. I turned in a circle and met not only Yusuke but Kuwabara and Suuichi.

Suuichi took one look at my hand and was rushing to my side. At the sight of him I realized that I'd been holding back tears all along. I burst into them and threw my arms around him, clinging without caring about my hand. He hugged me tightly and I could tell from the stiffening of his body that he was looking at the monstrous body on the ground.

"Fuck, Hiei…couldn't you have just incinerated him too?" Yusuke growled, kneeling next to the thing and sighing. He looked over at me. "What the fuck were you thinkin', Nariko? Comin' out here at night?"

I turned and glared at him. "Excuse me?! I saw Suuichi in the park and heard someone yell in pain! How was I supposed to know it wasn't him?"

Yusuke made an agitated sound. "You're lucky Hiei was here to save your ass! This kind of bastard eats souls for fun." He rose to his feet and shook his head. "Keiko'd kill me if you ended up dead! Bad enough this fucker hurt you."

I stared for a long moment before laughing, bordering on hysteria. "Oh, Yusuke…_he_ didn't break my hand. _He_ was ALREADY DEAD!" I screamed and motioned with my unbroken hand. "Some _freak_ with a goddamned _sword_ was standing over him when I got here! Then, you know what?! I thought he was going to kill me _next_! So I punched him and he caught it and he _broke my hand_! WITH A FLEX OF HIS!" I was breathing so heavily that I had to squat down to regain myself. I groaned and felt sick. My adrenaline and shock was really waning now and my hand hurt so much more. Kuwabara came over to me and lifted me into his arms. I ignored any weird looks thrown at me over my melt-down.

"She needs a hospital. I'll take care of her, you guys take care of Shrimp and this guy." Kuwabara motioned weakly at the dead body before turning and walking away. As soon as we were out of earshot of the other two, he looked at me apologetically. "Sorry. Shrimp's an ass. Everythin's gonna be okay; okay, Nariko-chan?"

I looked up at him and lost it. I nodded as I cried again. I must have passed out. I don't remember getting to the hospital to this day.

**…..**

I spun my pen on the bridge of my cast between my forefinger and thumb. It fell off and clattered on my cubicle desk. I huffed a sigh and turned to look at the files. They were still updating. Computers really sucked. They froze and had head case issues often. I stared at the screen and let my mind wander. I hadn't seen or talked with Suuichi since the night the little asshole, as I'd dubbed him, broke my hand. Considering I was supposed to get the cast off in three days…it'd been nearly two and half weeks. He hadn't even called. Not that I'd expected him to. We'd shared a night together, so what? I didn't expect him to _want_ to be with me. Nor did I expect anything from him. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. It was odd, I hadn't even seen him at work for the time either. Bored out of my mind, I got up and wandered off in search of something I could do until my computer unfroze. Hours later, I returned to my desk from the project I'd worked on. The computer was indeed unfrozen. However, the project I'd been given had taken up my whole day. Instead of making this wait, I sat down and worked hard on my day's actual work until it was done. By the time I'd finished up, it was nearly nine o'clock. The night janitors were cleaning up. I closed down my station and grabbed my stuff. I stopped by the janitors and thanked them for their work. They smiled and waved to me as I left. I stepped onto the elevator and rode down to the main lobby. I stepped out and walked outside. I looked up at the moon. I looked at my watch. Damnit. I'd have to walk all the way home. My bus had already made its last pick-up from the bus-stop just down the street. I hugged my purse close to my body and hiked my way across the city. A few times, I nearly ran in fear as I heard some catcalls. I ignored them though and was rounding my block a good hour and a half later. I shivered as the cold pressed in on me. I rushed the rest of the way home and refused to look at the park. I took the stairs up to my apartment two at a time. I opened my door and stepped in. I was so tired I forgot to lock the door. I tossed my stuff down and peeled off my shoes and top layer of clothing. I dropped them to the floor. I caught my reflection in the closet mirror. Standing in the light, wearing nothing but my bra, underwear, garter belt, and stockings. I looked like a street walker. Or a stripper. Take your pick. I snorted and ignored it as I crossed to make myself some tea. I started the microwave. It was so loud that I didn't hear the door open. I turned and walked back across the studio apartment's floor, dragging my wavy hair up into a high ponytail to get it out of my face. I heard the door shut and spun in surprise and ready to grab something to throw.

Shocked green eyes met mine before they heated and traveled my body slowly. Suuichi leaned back against the door and licked his lips suggestively. I shivered. I shrunk back a step as he took one forward.

"If I knew this would be how I'd be greeted, I would have come over much sooner." I could hear his desire thick in his tone.

I snorted. "This wasn't for you."

He stopped his approach. I watched as his eyes narrowed and his nose flared. He was pissed. Why the hell would he be pissed? He growled out one word, that's all it took for understanding to wash over me. "Who?"

I stared at him for a long moment before I rolled my eyes. "Really, Suuichi? What the hell do you take me for? I didn't mean it was for someone _else_. I meant that I didn't prepare myself for you. I just walk around in my underwear sometimes because I hate being stifled by too much clothing." I sighed and planted my good hand on my hip. "Jealous much? And why _are_ you jealous?"

He looked relieved but still pissed as he turned and flipped the lock. "It's not safe for you to leave your door unlocked so carelessly. What if it had not been me coming in?"

"I'm not sure I'm out of danger _with_ you here." I blurted and paused as he flashed me a look that clearly said, _'you have no idea.' _I swallowed and moved to my dresser. "I-I'm just going to throw on some clothes…"

His hands slid over my hips and drew me back against him. I straightened instantly and hissed through my teeth; but not in displeasure. I could feel him pressed into me. His lips nibbled my earlobe. "Please…don't…"

"What is this?" I teased breathlessly. "Suuichi, begging?"

"If I must…"

I turned and looked at him, uneased by the desperation in his tone. "What's wrong?"

His eyes turned guarded. "Must something be wrong for me to desire you?"

"Suuichi, don't dodge me. Something's wrong." He pulled away and I caught him. Obviously, he didn't want to pull away or I would never have managed to pull him back to me. "Suuichi, please. You're worrying me."

"Precisely what I sought _not_ to do."

"You're failing miserably." I chuckled at the pout on his lips.

He sighed and looked away, running a hand through his hair. He didn't usually do something so…_'Yusuke-ish,'_ I thought with a small inner chuckle. "I...have a suspicion about…you."

"Me?"

"Yes. It's…been weighted heavily upon my mind for some time. I had to go somewhere to research it and I…I think I know why you saw what you did."

"What I saw?" I frowned, not following at first.

"In the temple and your dreams."

I blinked and was _very_ interested. "And?"

"I have a theory, Nariko, that you…are a reincarnated soul."

The dreams, the feelings, the sight…it _did_ make sense. It was always me and yet not me. That sense of duality. "Do you have any idea of who?" I asked eagerly.

"Yes."

"Who?"

"My very first lover…Harui."

* * *

_Mwahahaha! Cliffy-hanger! You have to wait until next chappie to see how this goes! :D Yes, I know I'm evil. It's just the way I am. By the way, anyone else want to both cheer and scold Hiei for breaking her hand? _

_Please review and let me know how I'm doing! _


	8. Dear Departed Love Song

**E.H.**

_So, if you are curious, most of the chapter titles are variations of lyrics or song titles. Often times to the main song that I'm listening to while writing. Anywho, I am working on another chapter for this fiction! To be honest, this chapter went __**much**__ differently than I'd planned on. But as it seems to be doing, it turned out better than what I'd thought originally. I really am wondering if this fiction is more-or-less writing itself. Call me a crazy person, but it sure feels like it to me! _

_Thanks for the reviews! I assure you, things are going to be __**FAR**__ more complicated. /Insert evil face/_

_Oh! And also! I am SORRY for all the mistakes in the last chapter! I re-read it and face-palmed over a few! Please forgive any typos or failures on my part with the written English Language! I swear, it IS my first language and I DO know how to write! _

_Wall of Happiness: __**SakiHanajima1, Mizz Ri, Hakudoushi9, Anon, **__and __**NoWarningSignsNoAlibi**_

* * *

**Dear Departed Love Song**

"What?"

"I understand this is rather…hard to accept bu—"

I yanked away from him and walked a few steps backward. "What the hell?!"

"Nariko—"

"Don't! Don't you _dare_ look at me like that!" I yelled and flailed my arms. "What kind of sick fucked up little joke is this?! You're only two years older than me! How the hell could you possibly have a _'first lover'_ that died and was reborn?!"

"Because, things are rather complicated. Please, if you'd just—"

"Just sit down and listen?! Fuck you, Suuichi! Get out!"

He blinked in shock before his face shifted to steel. He stood his ground. "No. You need to listen."

I scoffed and planted my hands on my hips. I was a little too far gone into the land of pissed-off to care that I was practically naked at this point. "I'm sorry, did I stutter? Let me try this again. GET. OUT."

"Did I?" I flinched at how cold his tone was. I could have forgiven him yelling, telling me something hurtful and slamming the door. Hell, it would have fueled me better. But no, he had to turn cold. And I don't mean just simple coolness you get from any other guy; I'm talking frigid like the damned Antarctic. He managed it in _two words_. I shivered as I tried to stand my ground. Deep inside my heart, I knew he wouldn't hurt me even if I seriously managed to make him mad enough to do so. But still, that didn't stop the same fear from descending upon me that seemed to choke the very breath from me.

"If you'd but allow me to finish one statement, I might be able to help you see and understand things better. I've received a special blessing in order to protect you further."

"Protect me from what?" I was so exhausted and freaked out that I gave up and sank to the floor where I was at. I looked up at him helplessly. "From these…these…images I keep seeing? From these stupid insane notions that my life isn't as helplessly fucked up as it seems to be? That maybe, just _maybe_ I'm special in some way that can help me deal with this all?"

I propped my elbow on my left knee and leaned my head on my good hand. Suuichi moved across the room and sat quietly before me. He started to reach for me and pulled back. He rested his hands on his lap.

"You can touch me…" I whispered without meaning to. I didn't take it back, though. He pulled me into his lap and cradled me to his chest. I felt so small even though my legs spilled from his lap freely.

"My world is a deadly place, Nariko. I have many enemies; if they were to hear but a passing mention of a lover from another's lips they would hunt her down in order to murder her."

"There you go again." I moved to look up into his eyes. "_'Your world.'_ What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"What I mean to say is that I am probably one of the most dangerous creatures you'll ever know." His eyes bore into me. I frowned and shook my head.

"I refuse to believe that."

"Don't be stupid, Nariko. What do you feel when you are with me? Do I feel like a normal human male? Do I touch you like a usual man would or should? Do I talk like one would my age? Do I pursue the same ideals and notions? What do you _really see_ when you look at me…?"

I stared at him intently. I traced my fingertips over his brows and nose. His eyes _were _very un-natural for a Japanese man. But then again, he could have American in him… Or European. But, wasn't his mother Japanese? My mother was and I inherited most of her traits. My eyes were just a darker blue. But blue wasn't too uncommon among Japanese. Green, however…was. And red hair such as his…was truly un-natural. Even if his father was foreign like my own had been. Black or brown was a far more dominant gene. And I knew for a fact he didn't dye his hair. His lower region's hair was enough indication of _that_. His features were almost devastatingly perfect. He was the epitome of handsome in an…ethereal way. His lips were pert and soft yet so inviting. Everything about him enticed me and invited me in like a lure; bait.

"I see you." I sighed and looked away. "I see a man who's too good to be true and is abnormally attracted to a girl like me. At least, that's what I seem to project onto you."

He made a sound of irritation. "Get dressed." He rose with me a little too easily for my taste and set me on my feet.

"Why?"

"I am taking you somewhere and I will not allow you to be seen by anyone other than me like that." He gave me a pointed once-over that was hot and searing. I took the hint. I wanted to know what he was hiding badly. I rummaged around in my dresser and threw on a black dress that I rarely wore. It was simple enough for whatever he was planning. I then slipped on my flat boots and grabbed my jacket.

"This will have to do."

"It will." He led me out the door and waited for me to lock my door. As we headed down the stairs, we passed a neighbor of mine. She was elderly and always seem to look at me like I was…I don't know…tasty. I had always ignored her and made a point never to be alone with her. As Suuichi passed her, he bristled and so did she. They watched each other warily as they passed. He reached back and pulled me closer to him. I looked at him incredulously as we reached the bottom of the staircase and crossed the street.

"What was that about? Are you intimidated by old women? I assure you, I'm not into old, wrinkly women." He ignored my jibe and looked up at the walkway that let to our apartments. I followed his gaze. She was up there glaring down at us. I could have sworn she flashed her teeth at us before turning a little too quickly for just an old woman to dart into her apartment. My body felt chilled.

"Do you still deny that you see things?" He asked and I looked at him sharply. His body was rigid and tense while he looked up at the balcony. His eyes were the only part of him that moved to look at me.

I frowned and looked at the balcony and back at him. I shivered. "I suppose that depends on what _you_ saw."

He rolled his eyes and turned quickly. The force of his turning caused me to stumble into him as his hand jerked my own closer to him. I glared at him but kept pace with him. We continued on our way until we got to a bus-stop that I knew led outside of the city limits if you took the route all the way. I flashed him a curious look. He ignored me and paid our bus fare as the bus arrived. We settled toward the back. He sat with his legs and arms crossed while staring out the window. I kept getting odd looks from people around us. Oh, yeah…I probably looked like a gothic hooker. Great. I rolled my eyes and leaned my head back on the seat.

"You look fine." Suuichi sighed softly. I turned to look at him. How did he know what I was thinking?

"I look like a gothic hooker." I murmured, a little un-nerved.

"No. You don't. You look like a young woman who's seen a ghost with a businessman."

I stared at him for a long moment before he flashed me a sheepish look. "I realize that probably does look rather…questionable, doesn't it?"

"Very." I sat back with a snort and a light chuckle. He draped an arm over me and pulled me closer to him. I snuggled into his side and tried _not_ to think. Funny thing about thinking. When you _want _to think, you just can't seem to. When you _don't_ _want _to think, all you can _do_ is think.

The bus ride was a long one. I nodded off against Suuichi's side. His scent invaded me and seemed to wrap around me in a cloak of warm comfort. My mind seemed to take this fact and decided to run with it. That and, I'm sure in the back of my mind, what he'd said to me earlier had a lot to do with my dreams.

_I lied there in a bed made of furs. I stared up into golden eyes. He hovered over me with a look of possession and pride. It didn't upset me; actually it made me feel like I was supposed to be there. I belonged. I sat up and captured his full lips. He returned the passionate action and held my head with one clawed hand. We parted to breathe and he nuzzled my neck before sinking his teeth into the swollen and tender flesh. Instead of pain, a powerful wave of pleasure immobilized me. I reacted in full and repeated the motion over his left nipple. A guttural noise rumbled through him as he released his seed within me again for the fifth time. I dropped my head back with a laugh that echoed around us. He looked at me with both mirth and that ever present ego. _

"_Rather proud of our self, aren't we?" His voice flowed like black ink, deep and endless, over me. I smiled. _

"_Should I not be?" I didn't recognize my own voice. It was light and floated like soft chimes. My backside twitched. A tail. Somehow I knew I had a tail. I rolled to my side and pushed myself up. The same silver-blue hair from all my past dreams flowed over my shoulders as I rose. I pulled it back from my face and tossed it back over my shoulder. I could see him more fully. White-grey hair, golden eyes, grey-ish ears and a tail the same as his hair all set into a body of divinity. He was meant to rule, control, and be the ultimate lover while also the cruelest killer. I knew without a doubt that those very claws that had left trails down my back, hips, and thighs while being gentle had ended many lives. He would be a king someday. Pride swelled in my chest as I watched him rise and tower over me. He pulled me to him roughly. I allowed him. I was his; I belonged to him just as he belonged to me. I looked up into his face and let a purr roll from me. _

"_I must be off soon. Kuronue and I have found it."_

_I shivered as I looked away. He knew I didn't want him to leave. He knew I feared the vision I'd had. He still would go and I still wouldn't stop him. He didn't believe in visions. I didn't either; I should have._

"_Then go quickly so you can return quickly." I sighed and looked back at him. "Make it known that Yoko is to be feared and to be known as the King of Bandits."_

_He grinned slowly. "I _**will **_be known throughout, Harui. And when I am, I will sire pups off you."_

_I threw my head back and let go of another bell-like laugh. He still didn't know the truth to me. "I look forward to it."_

I woke with a jolt and looked around quickly. Suuichi looked at me with slight concern. I shook my head at his unasked question and pressed my fingers to my temples as my dream began to fade. It had been so different this time. Usually I dreamed of her death, not her lover. I shrugged it off, not wanting to dwell on it. Suuichi's suggestion, stupid joke actually, must have led to this. The bus jerked to a stop.

**…..**

Suuichi led me through a thick wooded area. I glanced up with sleepy eyes as the sun began to peek over the horizon. Had we really been up all night? I would have blushed at that thought had we actually been up _doing_ something more than riding a bus to the wilderness. I tripped on a few roots and snarled. Sleep deprivation made a girl grumpy; couldn't really blame me for being in a foul mood. Therefore, when I kicked the rock out of fury that dared trip me next, I couldn't be held accountable for the small plant that I killed. Suuichi stopped and threw an angry look over his shoulder at me. I shrugged.

"Try not to decimate _all_ the plant life, will you?"

"Hey! I'm not the crazy one dragging a girl out into the deep woods in the early morning. It's not like anyone around could give a damn about some random plants I happen to kill. They'll never see them. Probably don't even know the plants are out here." I took a few more steps before stopping dead in my tracks. The truth in my words rang through my head. I replaced the word _plant_ with the word _girl_. I then replaced the word _I_ with the word _you_. I looked at him suddenly very aware of my surroundings. He stared at me impatiently. Did I stupidly fall into this trap? Was he a serial killer that no-one knew about? How many girls had he done this with? Or did he target girls who thought they were crazy? I stepped away from him.

He frowned and looked at me intently before his face fell. He rolled his eyes and looked up through the trees. "You can't seriously believe that I'm trying to kill you?"

"Oh? Really? I can't?" Okay, so many taunting him wasn't the smartest thing I could have done.

"If I wanted you dead, Nariko, I would have done so the first day I met you and saved myself all the headache and troubles leaving you alive would have caused."

"That's comforting!" I cried, moving farther away from him. "Let me guess, you target the girls who have crazy family members and have no ties and—"

"Nariko!" He snapped and turned toward me. "I'm not going to kill you! And you aren't without ties! You are very close to Keiko and Yusuke! Do you believe they'd let some crazy man get close to you like this?"

"Serial killers are very good about making themselves look innocent and like the most normal people you'll know."

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Nariko…please. I didn't bring you here to kill you. I brought you here to show you something."

"All your other victims?"

Suuichi's eyes darted up into the trees with a sharp glare. He looked like he was having an internal conversation; or more to the point, argument with himself. Great. I moved farther away from him.

"Stop moving." He ordered and for some stupid reason, I obeyed. He turned to me again, looking more frustrated than before. He took a deep breath and looked at me as though he was torn. "I suppose here will have to do if you won't trust me to take you farther from the road."

I opened my mouth to retort but thought better of it. If he was having a moment of doubt about killing me here, I didn't want to give him renewed strength in wanting to murder me. I nodded silently, forming a plan in my head. As soon as he turned his back, I was running for it. Last time I tried to fight and see where that got me? I wasn't about to do that again. He stepped backward and farther from me. I wasn't sure what he was thinking. Wasn't the point to get closer to your victim? More personal kill that way. The air shifted. I felt my body zing with energy while I stood there. I froze as the air became very localized and focused around Suuichi. The air began to spin and make it look like he was…I don't know…being surrounded by a strange fog-like aura. That's exactly what happened next. He was shrouded in a deep mist-fog that had lightning strikes crackled throughout. I wasn't sure what the hell was happening. All I knew, was that the temperature dropped and the area darkened considerably. I shrank back against a tree and stared in awe-struck horror as the spinning stopped and the fog billowed and moved of its own accord. I started to see a shape emerging from within the fog. My heart was thundering so loudly that I couldn't hear past it. A very tall man stepped from the fog. The instant he set foot outside the mist, it dissipated. Before me stood the very image from my dream on the bus. I felt my eyes bulge. I peeked around him to see if Suuichi was still back there and having the same moment of shock as I. He wasn't anywhere to be seen. I looked back at the very tall, fox-eared man.

"W-Where is…S-Su-Suuichi?"

He tilted his head as if he didn't understand me. A slow smile, dark and deadly, spread over his lips. "He is here. He is me as I am him."

How did I know what he looked like or sounded like so accurately? My dream had been eerily correct. I shivered. He watched me like a predator watched prey. I shifted to the side and moved quickly so that the tree was between us. He gave me a patient look that told me in no uncertain terms that he was humoring me by allowing me to put a tree between us.

"Wh-what does that mean? You are him and he is you?"

"Don't be daft, Nariko." He rolled my name on his tongue like butter before he smiled again.

"I'm not daft!" I shrilled. "I'm just really fucking confused and scared!"

"I know. I can smell it."

I balked. Smell it? He could _smell_ me?! What the hell was this?! A sci-fi movie gone wrong?! I glanced around and spotted a small pathway that led back toward the road. I didn't think, I just ran. I should have thought. Before I made it ten feet, I was caught up in a strong vice-like grip that made my lungs expel a sudden whoosh of air. I was suddenly against a tree, staring up into golden eyes. I opened my mouth to scream but only had it covered with sensuous lips. They moved over my mouth possessively. I recalled my dream and couldn't help it. I reacted to him as strongly as I did Suuichi. I melted into his kiss and felt a strong rush of desire push over me. I lifted my right leg and dangled it off his left hip; a feat which wasn't easy since he was much taller than I was and even Suuichi. I felt him press intimately against me. I gasped and threw my head back, wincing as pain exploded over my head from the rough collision with bark. He didn't release me, instead he chuckled against my neck as he laved my skin with his tongue. My breath came in pants. I felt his clawed hands shove my dress unceremoniously up my thighs and over my thighs. He yanked the jacket I had on off and threw it, uncaringly, over his shoulder. The straps on my dress must have annoyed him as he tore them free and yanked the offending fabric down. He glared at my bra and underwear. He hooked a claw on the lacy material of both and sliced them away. I stared at him and wanted to protest but couldn't find my voice to do so. He stared at the garter belt and stockings before a leering grin spread on his face.

"I like the look of this. This may stay." He stated simply before his lips were covering my mouth again. His hand found my nether zone and began to work magic with his fingers. I noted, absently, the way his fingers moved on my sensitive flesh was the same way Suuichi touched me. I dug my nails into his broad shoulders. He must have taken it as encouragement as he drove deep inside me so quickly that it lifted me off the ground completely. I cried out loudly as he thrust inside me hard and fast. Each thrust lifted my one foot off the ground. I pressed my chest against him while rolling my head from side to side against the tree bark. The scent of our love-making filled my nose. Without any warning, his mouth was on my chest while he thrust inside me. I whimpered and moaned, hearing it echoing back at me. He filled me completely and thoroughly. I came hard and fast. I arched as far as I could off the tree. He was far from done.

He pulled us from the tree and flipped me around, bending me. I grappled for the tree and his slammed himself home again and again. I found myself rising on my tiptoes and trying desperately to meet him. His pace was ridiculously and rather impossibly fast. I could feel him rubbing my cervix deep inside with a small burst of uncomfortable pain that paled next to the writhing bliss the rest of his intrusion caused inside me. I knew that I felt the same with Suuichi. I felt addicted to sex and addicted to him. As I screamed my release for the second time, I felt dirty. Oh so dirty. I started to cry. What was I thinking? Why was I letting this man fuck me like this? What if something had happened to Suuichi and here I was…letting some random, all be it sexy man, screw my brains out? I felt him release within me. When he pulled free to reposition us, I fell to my knees and buried my face in my hands. He moved behind me and pulled me to him, turning my face to lick my tears away.

"Stop…p-please…I-I can't…this isn't…it isn't right! I-I'm…"

"Nariko…look at me." I froze. I knew that voice. I opened my eyes and looked into green. I blinked rapidly and shook my head, confused.

"W-what is…?"

"It's me. It's been me all along."

I shook my head, looking around. "Wh—"

He sighed and pressed his forehead to my shoulder. "Nariko, the man who was just with you is me. I am him. We are one and the same. That is what I was trying to show you."

I thought to the way they felt inside me. It was the same feeling just…slightly different here and there. I looked at him and touched his face as he raised it to look at me. I turned and straddled him. I knew it was wrong and weird, but I needed him then and there. He had to have read it on my face as he guided himself back inside me. The difference between them was only slight. The other was ridiculously tall and made me feel like a ragdoll. Suuichi was a perfect height as he held me like I was a precious porcelain doll. He slid inside me and I groaned. I set our pace and he let me. I rode him there on the forest floor. When I came, it was just as strong as the other times and felt more…connecting. I settled in his arms, not bothering to readjust my clothes while he held me. I didn't even bother pulling him from within me. I could actually feel him soften and slack while he relaxed inside me. I smiled and tucked my head under his chin.

"What are you?" I repeated words back at him that now made sense from such a long time ago. He caught my meaning as I felt him smile.

"I am a complication."

I snorted. "Tell me something I don't know."

He chuckled and moved us. He lifted me and I felt him fall out of me as we both gathered ourselves. I stood and readjusted my dress, staring at the straps. I looked at the scraps of lace and ribbon that had once been my undergarments. I glanced down at my legs and garter belt and felt my face flush crimson. I sighed and looked up as I began to tug my dress down. Suuichi stood, pulling his pants back on fully while watching me. I could see the guilt in his eyes as he looked at the former bra and underwear.

"Sorry." He ducked his head. I saw it though, he was grinning. I tugged my dress down fully and plucked the lacey garment closest to me up and flung it at him.

"Yeah, I'm so sure!" I replied not without a smirk of my own. "You really like the garter belt that much, do you?"

He looked at me unabashedly. "Very much so."

"How could I have ever believed you were gay?"

He bristled. "Excuse me?"

I waved it off. "Don't ask, you probably don't want to know."

He glared at me with less anger than in the past. "I suppose you're mostly right there."

I stared at him losing all humor. "Suuichi, answer me honestly. What are you?"

He looked at me, losing all playfulness as well. He sighed and looked away, eyes focused far away. "I am not too unlike the monsters that you have seen."

"You mean like…the one in the park?"

He nodded. "I am of a different species and class however."

"What was it?"

"A demon."

I moved to lean on a tree. "So…you're a-a demon?"

"Yes…and no. As I said, I am complicated."

A thought struck me. "The guy in the park that broke my hand—"

He looked pissed for a moment before he nodded. "Yes. He's a demon as well. His name is Hiei and he is a colleague of mine and Yusuke's. It's a very long story."

I nodded as I tried to process the information. "So you're a demon?"

"Yes."

"A demon…"

"I believe we've established this fact repeatedly."

"Oh shut up and let me think." I growled. I found it not as hard to believe as it should have been. Oddly enough, I recalled back to when I heard Suuichi and Yusuke conversing quietly in the night over demons. Then it rushed me. I sank down the tree, staring at the ground wide-eyed. "Oh my god…"

"Nariko?" He was at my side instantly.

"My mother calls you Fox-san…because…" I looked up into his green eyes. I could see it; he was eager for me to say it. To voice the truth myself; accepting him as I'd not before. "Because you are a fox demon…"

His eyes lit up as he nodded. It fell into place. The strange guttural growls I heard from him every now and then. The aura of possession when another man dared to glance at me in his presence. The way he spoke so fluidly and easily. The way he ruled my body when he made love to me. He wasn't really human to begin with. Everything about him made sense.

"How old are you, really, Suuichi?"

"My demonic age is…rather old. I stopped counting after one thousand years had passed."

"Why does Yusuke call you Kurama?"

"My demon name is Yoko Kurama. I prefer Kurama. Suuichi is my human name."

"So you…you really look like tall, white-haired, and fox-eared inside?"

He laughed lightly. "Again, yes and no. I am human and I am demon. I am an enigma of both worlds. I was hunted down and nearly killed a little over twenty three years ago. I managed to escape here to the human world from another world known as demon world or the Makai. I found a pregnant woman whose baby had yet to develop a soul. I melded with it and became what I am now. It is why I prefer Kurama. In many way, Kurama is the epitome of both lives united as one."

"And you believe I am…the reincarnated soul of your lover, Harui?"

He nodded slowly. "Yes."

"So, when you see me…you see her?" I felt both jealousy and hurt wash over me. Was he making love to her all this time? Or was it me?

He didn't answer. Instead, he looked just as confused as I did. I looked away to hide the hurt and try to staunch the flow of tears that threatened to fall. He sighed and rose to his feet, holding his hands out to me. I took them and rose. He led us back to the bus-stop. I managed to find my jacket and wrap it tightly around myself. I felt lost, hurt, and kind of used. I didn't talk to him all the way back to the city. I didn't even talk to him as we walked to my apartment. When we reached my door, he stopped me.

"Nariko, the woman who lives next door…she is dangerous. Be careful, all right?"

I looked at him. "So you're going to leave it at that?"

"She hasn't broken the Spirit World law yet in harming humans. At least not that we know of. But I don't want you to be the first she breaks it with."

I stared at him. I shook my head. "I'll be sure to be careful. I don't want to do anything damaging to your precious lover's soul." I said bitterly while shoving my door open. He winced and tried to stop me again. I spun on him. "Tell me that you want to be with _me_ because it's _me_ and not because you're still in love with _her_ soul."

He sighed and rubbed his face. "Nariko, don't be unreasonable."

"It's not unreasonable. It's honesty."

"You know I can't do that." He answered softly. I didn't bother to stop the tears.

"So when you screw me, you're doing it because you see her?"

"Nariko—"

"I hate you." I slammed the door in his face and locked it. I listened as he walked away. Just like that, my heart broke.

* * *

_And here is just __**one**__ of the reasons why I have down ANGST as one of the categories. But, I hope that little Yoko action was worth it! _

_Please let me know what you thought!_

_**Erika Hearken**_


	9. The Pain is Always Free

**The Pain is Always Free**

I sat at my dull kitchen table staring at the surface. I regarded each etch and ding with careful study. I trailed my fingers over them one at a time, wondering if I had a physical wound for every time something happened to me if I'd begin to look like this table too. Every time I tried to forget, I'd get a rushing reminder of what I'd experienced in my bed, in the woods, at the temple…I shut my eyes tightly against the raging sting. I wouldn't allow myself to cry. Not for him. Not anymore. I'd walked away from that door and locked it behind me. So why did he still pull beneath the surface of my psyche? I glanced at my phone as it rang for the tenth time. I didn't want to talk to Keiko. I didn't want to know if she knew all along. I didn't want to hear simple, sympathy filled words. She'd been in love with Yusuke for years. She knew him better than anyone else, having grown up with him. She wouldn't really understand how I was feeling. And I didn't want her to ever have to feel this. I got up and poured some more hot tea into my mug. As I returned to sit, my phone rang again. I rolled my eyes and glared down at it until I saw the caller ID. It was mom's hospital. I picked it up and answered. The doctor on the other line was the main one that worked with her.

I fell into my seat as he told me. And here I thought I couldn't cry anymore. I curled in on myself and managed to hold my tears in until I was there. I stood in the doorway of her room, behind the caution tape. Her window was broken. Blood coated every surface as though someone had taken a hose of the crimson liquid and sprayed the room. I trembled as I saw the body bag the medics were wheeling out. They stopped and looked awkward as I unconsciously reached out and grabbed the gurney. I moved over and tugged the zipper, ignoring the protests from the two that tried to moved and stop me. I stared into her face. Her once, beautiful face that was now shredded. I numbly reached for her only to be stopped. I didn't see by who. I didn't see or feel anything but a dull thudding sound in my ears I faintly recalled as being a heartbeat. I wasn't sure it was anything near that. After all, how can one's heart beat on when it's shattered beyond reconciliation? I vaguely could feel arms around me and someone leading me away from the scene. I didn't recall getting in a car or being led into a home. I didn't notice when I was sat down on a cushy couch. Honestly, if a demon had wanted to kill me, they could have been done with me and I wouldn't have known the difference. Warmth was being pressed into my hands as someone near me cried and held me. I blinked, feeling droplets fall. I didn't know how to start crying and I didn't know how to stop. It just began to flood over me and left me feeling utterly raw inside. A bright burst of hot pain spread over my lap, but I didn't feel much of it. All I remember was the crushing darkness that suffocated my mind and took me over.

**…..**

I opened my eyes slowly and blinked repeatedly. My eyes fell heavy and gritty. I sat up slowly and looked around. I knew this place. Keiko and Yusuke's living room. I tried to remember getting there, but couldn't. I felt the oppressive memories of my mother's room and curled my knees to my chest. I stared off into space, knowing that I really didn't have much left to cry. I was thirsty and my lap was uncomfortable. I looked up as I heard someone walk into the darkened room. Yusuke came and sat on the end of the couch. He looked at me with eyes of understanding.

"Why?" I croaked.

"Because, someone out there is so fucked up they'd go after you in any way they can."

"Did I do something wrong, Yusuke?"

"No." He shook his head. "You ain't done nothin' wrong. And I'm gonna find whoever did this and make 'em fuckin' pay. I promise you that, Nariko."

I knew he meant it. I would hold him to it. I nodded and leaned back against the armrest. "How is Keiko?"

He sighed and nodded slowly. "She's okay. She's a bit…well, she really goddamned worried about you. She cried all night long with you in her lap until she passed out. I carried her to bed."

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "For dragging her into this…whatever this is."

"You don't got anythin' to be sorry for. I jus' wish Koenma woulda given us a heads-up."

"Koenma?"

"Yeah. My former boss. I'd say it's a long story, but seein' how we got time…it's only fair you know." He then turned to me. I honestly couldn't say how long we sat there, but he told me everything; in full detail. From his very first death, to his very last adventure before settling with Keiko. I listened throughout the whole thing. I felt sore and broken when he told me about Suuichi…or I should say, _Kurama_'_s_ involvement in his life and cases from the first time they'd met until this day. When he drew to a close, the sun was full in the sky and Keiko had joined us, sitting next to me. We'd both shifted so that I could lay my head in her lap while listening. That's what best friends do. They are there through everything and anything. Keiko was the pillar I'd always leaned on and now I got a first-place glimpse at the pillar _she'd_ leaned on throughout her life. Yusuke was so amazing. I understood fully why Keiko had never told me in the past why she stayed with him. How could someone describe to the unknowing that your boyfriend and soul-mate was a half-demon who had to save the world…quite literally, on so many occasions? I saw Kuwabara through new eyes as well as he told me about the tall, fun, big-hearted man and his role in their adventures. I watched the way Keiko looked at Yusuke. It made my heart soar with hope and crumble with longing for the same. I sat up after a while as he closed his tales.

"It's almost hard to believe he saved the world so many times, isn't it?" Keiko smiled softly while Yusuke made a protesting noise.

I nodded but smiled as well. "Yeah, but it's also amazing." I rubbed my cast with a frown. "So, Hiei's also one of you?"

"Yeah. He's a bastard, but he always saved our asses in the end when we needed 'im." Yusuke shrugged, glancing at my cast. "He doesn't tolerate anything he thinks is weak."

"I noticed." I grumped.

Keiko rose to make us some food. I rose with her and followed her. We worked in silence, side by side. I wasn't sure what I felt, but I knew it was going to be a long time before I moved on from everything.

**…..**

I stood in my apartment, observing the cleaning I'd just finished. I turned and moved to the kitchen. As I passed my table, my phone rang. I stopped and looked at the ID. A long sigh blew past my lips. I knew it was coming. Two days had passed since I'd had to observe my mother's crime-scene room. She'd been murdered and I knew the police would never find the true villain who did it. I had hope in Yusuke and Kuwabara (who'd also boisterously voiced his help in the matter) finding the bastard and ending him. I picked up the phone.

"Hi dad."

"Just how much exactly is this hospital planning to try and wring out of me?!" He exploded. I stood there, shell-shocked. Was that really the first thing he had to say about his _wife_ and _my mother_ having been murdered in her room? He was more concerned with how much _money_ he had to pay?"

"I-I don't know. Her funeral costs are—"

"Already through the fucking roof! Are you even _trying_ to be considerate of your father's income?!"

I felt a rush of tears come on. "Dad, I—"

"You know what? Why don't _you_ just pay for it?! I've had enough of this bullshit! I had enough on my plate as it was with _your_ rent and _your_ tuition! And now you have a job and won't pay your own way? What kind of ungrateful daughter are you?!"

"I-I'm sorry…I-I didn't know it was…that tight for you."

"You should have! I'm wiping my hands of this! I'm done!"

"W-wait! A-aren't you at least coming home…for her…f-funeral?"

"Are you insane?!" That was it before the click. I stood with my phone pressed to my ear. I dropped my hand and pressed end call. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat. I couldn't see past the blur of tears. How was I supposed to take that? My father had just abandoned me for the second time in my life and this time he pulled all of his funding with him. I stared at my small, meager apartment. Everything I owned; everything that I'd scrounged for months on end to afford was about to disappear and with it would go the last of my will-power. Where would I go? What would I do? I was still paying off school loans and my internship paid me barely the legal sum. I couldn't afford this apartment let alone my school loans, food, and necessities. I thought of Keiko but I couldn't do that. I couldn't ask her to save me. I'd sunk this ship myself. I'd been an ungrateful daughter for so many years. And now, I was reaping what I had sown. I just wish I'd known _then_ to what parent I'd been the ungrateful daughter to. I knew _now_ that the parent I'd been the ungrateful to was now gone and I didn't have a chance to apologize ever again.

**…..**

I walked through the crisp air as I came to my work building. I dodged inside through a small throng of people. I quietly made my way up to my cubicle. I ignored the sympathetic looks being thrown my way. I sat down and signed on to my computer and began my work load for the day. I trudged through and ignored the lunch bell. Once everyone else had thinned out I sat back and looked around. I reached into my purse and dug out the small amount of change I had on me. If I cut out busses, the fare for them would allow me a small sweet _pan_ bread to eat once a day for lunch. I pulled up a search engine and looked up a few escort agencies hiring. I felt my stomach sink as I looked at the options I had. I had little to use as work reference, and escort service agencies tended to pay a hefty sum of money. I just didn't know if I could do it. I didn't want to think about being paid extra for _special _time with some weird older man. I felt bile rise at the very thought. I leaned on my elbows and held my aching head between my hands. My mouse suddenly clicked and my search engine shut down. I spun and was confronted by glaring green eyes. I swallowed the dryness in my throat.

"I hope that was a joke and not a serious attempt." Suuichi motioned with a flick of his eyes at what he'd just read.

"What do you want, Suuichi?" I asked, not willing to see him right now. "I have enough to deal with as is."

"Are you that pressed for money?"

I looked up at him, not willing to hide. "Yes. I am. I can't pay my rent since dear old daddy decided I wasn't worth his time anymore." I bite my lip a little too harshly as anger rose inside me. I was getting tired. I'd had enough.

"There is an opening in my department. An office assistant. Apply there. I'll see what I can do."

I looked at him hopefully. "Really?"

"Yes. It pays double what you are making now and includes benefits at the start. If you do well and I know you will, you'll be guaranteed a raise at the end of the training period after three weeks."

"Thank you Suuichi, for telling me." I smiled. He returned the smile. I watched him rise and leave. As he walked away I called out to him. He stopped and turned back to me with a curious expression. "I don't hate you."

He blinked before he smiled a sweet smile. "I know."

**…..**

I finished my work early and rushed over to Suuichi's department. I found the listing and read it over. I nearly laughed out loud as I did. Of course the position would be _for him_. I shook my head and shoved the flyer into my purse. I turned and headed back to my cubicle. I brought up the browser again and found the online application listing and sent my resume off. I signed off, feeling rather good for once. I stood and closed down my station. I passed by a few co-workers and waved in passing. They did a double-take that made me wince. Dear god, how mopey had I been? I knew the answer there. I headed out the door and home.

It took me a while to reach home, but I didn't think about how much time was passing as I walked. I ran over all the things I would needed to say to my father. I steeled myself as I opened my door. I closed it and locked it out of habit now. I set my stuff down and moved to get myself some coffee. Once I was ready, I dialed his number.

"Hello?"

"Hey _dad_." I stated angrily.

"Nariko? What are you doing?"

"Here's how this is going to go. You are going to cut me off no matter what now, I get that. You never had the intention of taking care of me forever. I also understand that. But what I will not stand for is the way you've treated my mother. You walked away from us when we needed you most. Now that she's gone, you're just so ready to lope off happily into the sunset. Good for you. I'm not. I'm not settling for your shitastic way of dumping on me. Mom's funeral is in two days. I don't give a shit anymore if you show up or not. If you do, good. If you don't, that's your own selfish decision. However, as your _wife_ you are still entitled to a few expenses. I _will not_ pay for this whole thing myself! You owe me that much after you left. After that, you'll be completely free of me and I won't ever bother you or your happy little world again."

Silence met me. I was almost sure he'd hung up. I wanted to laugh. He sighed heavily. "I don't see why you have to be this way."

"Don't make me quote you. You're last phone call was a load of shit and you know it!"

"I was upset! What do you expect from me?"

"A father." I answered plainly. "I've stated my piece and that's all. Goodnight." I hung up. I stared at the phone. A new feeling washed over me. I felt…powerful and I felt like I was stronger. I nodded at the phone and stood. I got myself settled for the evening. I watched a few sitcoms that I laughed along with, showered, and prepared for bed. I had just settled in to my bed to sleep when a loud knock sounded at my door. I jumped out of skin and looked toward the hallway. I pulled myself out of bed and grabbed a heel as the closest thing to a weapon I had in my apartment. I slowly approached the door. I called through it. "Who is it?"

"It's Yusuke! Open up!"

I opened the door and gasped, dropping my heel. I flung the door open wide as Yusuke and Kuwabara dragged an unconscious and bleeding Suuichi into my apartment. I closed the door and locked it. I rushed over to them and motioned for them to put him on my bed. I ran to the bathroom and began to grab my first aid kit.

"What the hell happened?" I asked as I came back out.

Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Beats the hell outta me! I got a friggin' call from him sayin' he was onto somethin' when it cut out. When we found 'im at the park, he was like this."

I knelt over him and began to clean his wounds. I stared at the deep claw marks in his chest and arms. "Did they get away?"

Kuwabara shifted uncomfortably. "Not really. It was real nasty. Messy. But Kurama won…"

Yusuke sighed and ran his hands over his face. "Yeah. He cut it up like sushi."

"Help me remove his shirt." I said. Yusuke moved to help me. I began to wrap his chest and tried to ignore the angry wounds that were bright red and oozing.

"We couldn't take him all the way home." Kuwabara stated nervously. I looked up at him with a frown.

"Where was he?"

"Park across the street." Yusuke stated giving me a pointed look.

I looked between Suuichi and Yusuke. "Do you know why?"

"I'm thinkin' he was trackin' whoever killed your mom."

I stalled and looked at Suuichi. I felt a small smile tug on my lips. I nodded. "Got it."

"His wounds should heal pretty much by themselves by tomorrow. But in case, can he stay here?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, Yusuke. I can just see you guys getting arrested by the police for carting around a bleeding, unconscious, businessman."

Yusuke laughed. "Yeah, wouldn't be the first time."

"It wouldn't?" I asked, trying to hide my surprise.

"Nah. 'Cept it wasn't a businessman, Urameshi! Was a lady who got beat up."

That probably looked much worse than Suuichi being dragged around by them. I stifled my laughter and shook my head. "I'll watch over him. You two get home safely, okay?"

Yusuke snorted. "_I'll_ be fine. It's _him_ you gotta worry 'bout." He motioned to Kuwabara.

Kuwabara protested loudly.

"In any case, Yusuke…be safe."

"Yeah, yeah. Sheesh, I see how you and Keiko've stayed friends so long. Ya nag alike."

"Watch it or I'll tell on you."

He huffed and left with Kuwabara. I relocked the door and returned to the bed. I looked down at him and leaned to brush some hair from his face. His hand stilled mine. His green eyes opened and looked at me.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked.

"The moment they brought me here."

I sat down beside him. "What happened?"

"I was trying to keep a vigil on your apartment. I was wrong to assume you were being targeted by one demon alone. Apparently there was a small herd of them hiding out in the park."

"They jumped you?"

"Yes and no." He looked away with a slight blush.

"Well?"

"I was a bit…distracted by someone's display in front of her bedroom window."

I realized he was talking about when I'd changed into my pajamas in front of the window. I had the blinds drawn! "How did you see that?"

"Your blinds allow people to see in from below when angled that direction. If you angle them the other direction, the only people who will be able to see in will have to be above."

"So all this time, I was showing myself to the neighborhood. Awesome." I shifted so that my right foot was under me. "How do you feel?"

"As Yusuke stated, I'll be mostly healed by morning."

"Mostly means…?"

"I will have some marks, but they will fade a day's time."

"Did a demon kill my mother?"

He looked at me solemnly. "I believe so."

"You can't always watch over me, Suuichi." He opened his mouth, no doubt to protest. I silenced him with my fingers. "I need to learn how to protect myself. Will you please show me?"

He stared at me for a long time. I was certain he'd say no. He sat up with effort and looked at me squarely. "Yes. But upon a few conditions."

"All right."

"One, you are never to go out alone until I am satisfied you are ready to do so safely. Two, you leave this apartment."

"What? How'm I-?"

"If you are to be sufficiently trained, I will have to oversee you constantly."

"So you're asking me to live with you."

He nodded.

I blew out a sigh and nodded. "I can agree to that. But I'm not a pleasant house-guest."

"Of that I've no doubt."

I scrunched my nose at him.

"Third and lastly, you must listen to what I say. It is imperative that you take my teachings to heart."

I agreed and rose. "Would you like something to drink?"

"That would be nice, yes."

"Tea?"

"Yes."

**…..**

I stood before the grave site. The casket lowered slowly into the open earth. I watched as the pulleys worked in synchronicity. Keiko hugged my arm to her side and I did the same with her arm. Yusuke stood beside her with his arm around her waist. Suuichi stood to my left. He reached down and laced my fingers with his. I flashed him a relieved look and he nodded once in reply. I gave the Eulogy. It was short and simple. I cried once at a memory of us making daisy necklaces in a park. After that, I said my goodbyes with a smile. In a strange way, saying goodbye was sweet. I knew now she'd no longer wonder if she was insane. She'd never have to face the betraying bastard she married. For all she knew, he would return to her when she had gotten better. I hated that she'd died in such a frightening manner, but I was also relieved that she never had to face the bitter reality of what was outside her room. I had peace with her passing and not because of what she never had to face. I knew that whoever killed her would be found and ended. That alone gave me the peace I needed to sleep at night. I stood there in the graveyard that day and I felt a new me being born. I squeezed Suuichi's hand and looked up into his green eyes. I nodded to him an unspoken agreement that I was ready. I was ready to take control of my life. I was ready to fight back. I was ready to step out of the victim's shell and into the predator's skin. I was ready to be transformed. And I would be.

* * *

_Next chapter will have more of Spirit World involved and Koenma! Plus, Botan! She hasn't been in here for a while!_


	10. Deliver Me into My Fate

**E.H.**

_It's been a while. I'm working on three things at once, so I'll be updating the two I've got going periodically. Meaning, this and SPtL. Thanks for all the reviews by the way! They've helped me A LOT! _

_Now, without further ado about nothing...here's the next chapter! _

* * *

**Deliver Me into My Fate**

I stood in the middle of my new room. I had everything set up the way I wanted it. I let it all sink in past my skin to my bones. I turned in a slow circle, taking in the details. I crossed to my dresser and set up a few pictures that I'd buried in boxes years ago for fear of looking at them. Now, I knew if I didn't set them up, I'd lose what was left of my mother. I stared into her heart-shaped face that was smiling and full of life. I smiled and touched it lightly.

"I'm going to make you proud, mom." I said with a nod and turned to leave my room. I closed the door and turned down the hallway. I jogged down the stairs into the main part of the house. I walked into the living room and stopped beside where Suuichi sat in his comfy chair, reading.

He didn't look up from his book. "Are you prepared to start?"

"As I'll ever be." I answered.

The book closed and he rose fluidly. He turned and motioned me to follow him. He led me out into the back yard where his large greenhouse was. I had thought it was weird when I was moving in that he had a huge greenhouse in his back yard. We stepped inside and I felt a small sweat begin to form on my forehead from the tropical climate within. I ignored it and followed him to the back part of the greenhouse. He unlocked the next zone. I raised an eyebrow at that. Who in their right mind locked up part of a greenhouse? Several ideas flew over my mind. No. He couldn't be a drug dealer. That would be too out of his personality. In fact, the idea made a chuckle escape me. He threw a curious look at me to which I shrugged. I stepped inside the next room and paused. He closed the door behind us.

"What do you feel?" He asked me as he moved to lean against the far wall.

"I'm not sure I understand what you're asking." I hedged. I kept glancing at the large plant taking up the back corner of the room nervously. Something about it made me feel uncomfortable.

"I want you to tell me exactly what you are feeling at the moment. Details, Nariko."

"Uncomfortable, nervous…and my skin feels itchy. It feels like something keeps running over me, like bugs, but I can't see any on my arms." As if to emphasize my point, I lifted my arms to look.

"Tingling?"

"Faint, but yeah."

"Do you feel…weak or strong?"

I shifted my weight and tried to figure that out. I wasn't really sure. I voiced that. He nodded slowly. He then moved over to the plant and ran his hand over a leaf. The plant _moved_ toward him. I stared in shock as the plant reacted to him similar to the way a puppy would greet its master over-enthusiastically. I watched as it shivered and seemed to stretch for him. He masterfully pet the leaves while his hand glowed a soft greenish-hue. I blinked and stared harder. The plant moved closer to the glow. He moved his other hand to retrieve a watering can. He watered it lovingly.

"How are you making it move?"

"I am not. It does what it pleases."

"It…does as it pleases…" I repeated while watching awe-struck. "Are you saying it has a mind of its own?"

"Naturally, that is exactly what I am saying. It recognizes my aura as the one that feeds it." He looked at me from the corners of his eyes.

"What does it eat?"

"Are you sure you wish to know?"

"…no." I answered honestly. "I don't think I do."

He smirked at my reply and moved away from the plant. "This is not all I brought you here for. Turn around."

I frowned and did so. What confronted me made me freeze with terror. A larger plant than the one he was at was practically vibrating toward me. It was beginning to surround me. I was pretty damned sure I saw teeth near the base of the thing back at its source. Vine like limbs moved around me. I didn't want to make any sudden movements. I don't know how I could tell, but it was testing me. Maybe even _tasting _me in a way. Suuichi came up beside me. The plant redirected itself at him. It touched him and shivered much like the other and then pulled back as if content. I stared at it as it shrank back.

"Congratulations, Nariko. I now know you have some level of spirit energy. You may actually stand a chance against demons now." He smirked at me from the side.

I turned to him, my anger flaring. "What are you saying?"

"Careful, these plants are very sensitive to emotions. The stronger the emotion, the stronger the reaction." He tossed a cursory glance back at the plant that had been testing me. I followed his gaze and wanted to bolt from the room. It had glowing purple veins lighting it up from the base. Yes, I had indeed seen teeth as they were blaringly obvious now. I moved slowly behind Suuichi. He chuckled softly and motioned for us to leave the room. I did so more than willingly. Once in the main greenhouse, I noticed it easier as he passed the plants. They all reacted to him. I followed him back into the house. He motioned me to sit on the couch. He sat in his chair.

"Your first lesson then will be to call on your energy and bring it out."

"You say that like its easy."

"It will be once you master it."

"All right. How do I do it?" I sat forward a bit more eagerly.

"For everyone it is different. For me, it is easiest to reach with plant life. For Hiei, fire. For Yusuke, a gun. For Kuwabara, a sword… It is whatever your soul makes it. If it helps, Harui used her energy best in the form of a bow and quiver."

I stared at him and took a deep breath. "All right. So, imagine that and then…?"

"No. Don't _imagine_ it _as_ that item. Close your eyes and dive deep into your heart. Deep within you lies a pool of energy. Deep your hand into that pool and pull a small handful out to use. Once you do this, we will focus on forming the energy."

I nodded. I closed my eyes and tucked my legs up onto the couch. I took a deep breath and tried to reach deep within myself. My mind flickered with a ridiculous image reel. Useless images that I didn't need to worry over kept distracting me. I made a frustrated noise.

"Whatever is bothering you is probably the first wall you have to clear away. Push past whatever it is and let yourself fall into your secondary zone. These are defense mechanisms to keep others out."

I envisioned a chainsaw and cut the images away. As soon as I broke through it, I felt like I was literally falling. I threw my hands out in front of my face and biting pain exploded in my palms. My eyes snapped open. Suuichi was off his chair and reaching for me. I watched everything happen in slow motion. My hands were pressed into the edge of the coffee table and I was falling toward it. I moved my head and pressed my legs out to catch myself better. As soon as I stopped, time sped back up to normal. Suuichi was halfway to me with his hand outstretched. His face was a mask of confusion as he looked at me. I looked back at him with the same expression.

"Wh-what just happened?"

"I would like to ask you the same question." He replied. "You were falling and then you moved faster than I've ever seen from you. Intriguing. You don't recall how any of this happened?"

"I cut through the wall you told me to get through. Then I was falling and I opened my eyes."

"Interesting." He sat back down and nodded at me. "Go ahead and continue."

I moved to the floor so that I wouldn't have the same issue again. I closed my eyes and found the same reel. I knew how to get past it this time. I cut through it and once again was falling. I opened my eyes as my head collided with the coffee table. I grabbed my head with a loud curse. Suuichi wasn't reaching for me. Apparently I could only have slow motion psychotic moments once a day. I kept at it for hours until Suuichi said we were done. We ate in silence and went to bed. I fell asleep quickly from exhaustion. I wish my brain had done that as well.

**…..**

My dreams had plagued me all night. Dreams are all find and dandy when you could at least remember what you'd dreamed that made you feel nervous and freaked out. I got up as the crack of dawn and opened my door right as Suuichi had been poised to knock. He looked at me in surprise but nodded in approval. He explained that we were to begin immediately. I followed him, needing coffee. He allowed me one cup before we started where we left off. The same results met me each time. By the end of the day I had a knot on my forehead and was not allowed to rise from the floor unless I was done with my 'training'.

Days flew by like this, only mixed in with work. I'd gotten the job as Suuichi's office assistant. So not only did I get up and train with him early every morning, I also went to work with him, worked with him, walked home with him, trained with him more, and ate with him. I was stifling yawns at work, praying for restful sleep. The weekends weren't any better. They were filled with the same routine. I didn't complain though. I'd asked for it.

It was the third week of our regimen. It was Saturday and I was sitting on the floor in the living room with nothing but pillows all around me. I had laughed when he showed me my 'training space'. He'd looked upset at my laughter and stalked from the room. I felt bad. He'd been thinking of me when he'd done something sweet and I'd laughed at him. I hadn't seen him since. I was still stuck in the same pseudo-space of my head. After the last episode, I sat up and steeled myself. I could do this, damnit! I closed my eyes and exhaled slowly. As I had been doing the last while, I cut through the scroll of images. I started to fall. This time, when I would have opened my eyes, I kept them shut. I ignored the slight discomfort that spilled over my mind. I floated past it into a dark zone that was devoid of feeling. I stopped before the only lit zone. There was a floating piece of paper with a long candle lighting it up. I stared at it in confusion. I'd seen this kind of paper before in monk movies. If I recalled correctly, they were called seals. I'd also seen them at temples. I read the sloping kanji. It wasn't any normal language. In fact, it looked Japanese but was in fact…something entirely different. I felt a strange familiarity with it. It was as though the meaning to it was just past my fingertips and if I reached far enough, I'd find it. I touched the seal with trembling fingers. I realized that it wasn't fear that made me tremble but instead excitement. I gripped the edge of it and lifted slightly. I paused and looked around. Nothing earth-shattering was happening. Must not have been anything too bad. I tore the seal off. I waited for a few minutes. Nothing happened. I sighed and shrugged. Must be my head's idea of a joke on myself. Then everything tilted and shifted so quickly. My body was flung into an abyss. I choked on a scream. Everything lit up around me in a blinding white light. I felt like my body was skinned and being dipped in salt and vinegar repeatedly. I convulsed harshly. I could feel both my inner body floating through what I would dub as hell and my body flopping violently against the floor in Suuichi's house. I had the truest sense of duality there. Then everything stilled and I stopped. I stopped breathing; my heart stopped beating. For all intents and purposes…I was dead.

**…..**

I opened my eyes against a harsh light. I draped my arm over my eyes. I groaned at the pounding headache that continued to attack me. I sat up slowly and looked around. I was in a room that was very much like a hospital. Except, hospitals didn't have nurses that floated through walls and had lizard tails or fish scaled ears. I gawked. One nurse with purple skin and bright blue eyes stepped up to me.

"How are you feeling?"

I stared at her, blinking. Was I dreaming or was this reality? I couldn't tell anymore.

"Mieko, can you get Botan-san for me?" I shifted. I knew that name. I knew Botan. I'd met her a few times over a summertime vacation that seemed so far away now. Within a few minutes, a blue-haired woman with peony colored eyes nearly bounced into the room.

"Nariko-chan! How are you feeling, dear?" She asked as she crossed the room to me. Her friendly eyes were alight.

"Besides the headache, I'm good. Where am I exactly?"

Botan shifted nervously. "Um, well, you see…"

"Botan-san…?"

She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. I noticed she wore a pink kimono that matched her eyes well. "You're in Spirit World."

I stared at her. "Am I dead?"

"See, that's the doozy, we're not sure."

"How can you not know if I'm dead?"

"Well, your heart stopped. If you were Yusuke, that'd be no problem. But see, because you're just a human with spirit energy and no demon bloodline, the fact that you are alive but without a heartbeat just isn't normal."

"I'm a zombie then?"

"Oh no! Silly!" She giggled into her sleeve. "Zombies are mindless eating machines. You're just a unique case that Koenma-sama is looking into. Oh! That reminds me. You're supposed to meet with him as soon as you're awake!" She gestured exuberantly. "Come with me!"

I hopped off the bed and did as she said. She led me to a large set of doors and _walked through them. _Like a ghost. She popped back over and gave me a sheepish smile. "Sorry! Keep forgetting to open the doors." She then opened the oversized doors while walking forward. I followed her to a large desk. The back of a chair was facing me.

"I've brought her, Koenma-sama."

"Ah, good." The chair turned around. A toddler in a pill hat with a pacifier stared me down. I would have laughed if it weren't for the sharp intelligence I could see in his eyes. "Utsuda, Nariko. I've been reviewing your case. I would seem you're quite the enigma."

"I mean no offense, but…where is Suuichi?"

"He, Yusuke, Keiko, Kuwabara, and Yukina are in the waiting room. You'll be allowed to see them shortly. I'm a bit more interested in your background, Nariko." He said, leaning forward onto his elbows. "Kurama's told me quite a bit about his suspicions toward you. Tell me, have you ever had past-life flash backs?"

"I've had dreams about being someone else."

"I see. How do they go?"

"I'm dying in them."

He frowned. "Interesting. Is that all you ever do?"

"Sometimes I'm running from who kills me. I dreamed once about…" I blushed and looked away. "Well, to be honest, about Suuichi's alternate persona, Yoko and I…in that other form…"

Botan giggled softly into her sleeve. "Oh my…"

Koenma coughed into his hand. "I see. Well, I suppose that might make sense. Anything else?"

I shook my head. "No. That is it."

"Hmmmm…usually reincarnations have vivid flash backs to their life before or even remember themselves fully. I'm surprised you've only dreamed of specific events."

"So I'm a reincarnation then?"

"That's what the evidence points to."

"Am I Harui or am I Nariko?"

He rested his chin on his pudgy little hands. "I wish I could answer that for you, Nariko. The truth is, that's something you'll have to figure out on your own."

"I understand."

"Now, can you explain to me what you were doing exactly before you blacked out?"

I recalled the events for him. I explained in full detail about the paper and how I'd removed it. His eyes widened quite a bit before he sat back with a puzzled expression.

"Well, that is new."

"What is, sir?" Botan asked. I was relieved I didn't have to ask the question.

"I haven't heard of a sealed spirit before. I'm going to have to research this more fully. Until then, Nariko…I deem you as harmless. You are welcome to return to your friends in the lobby."

The word harmless stung a bit, but I took the pass. I bowed respectfully and followed as Botan led me toward the lobby. She was chattering on endlessly over everything and nothing at all. If tested on the subject matter, I would have failed. I entered the lobby and crossed to Suuichi. He was clearly concerned as he met me halfway.

"How are you feeling?"

"Confused and really tired."

"She's cleared to go home. Koenma-sama's looking into some things and then he'll hopefully get back to us soon." Botan piped up.

Yusuke sighed and rolled his eyes. "What else is new?"

"Oh, come on Yusuke! Koenma-sama's got a lot he has to deal with now that Yama-sama has been forcefully resigned."

That name. Yama. It triggered something in me. A deep rooted anger spread through me. I hated him. I couldn't understand where it came from, but it rushed over me like an ocean's wave crashes over a boulder at a cliff's edge. I turned to Suuichi. I needed to leave. He read my face and bid Botan goodbye. We left the lobby to enter a smaller room. I stared at the swirling mass before me. It looked like a door, but with a fluctuating surface.

"It's a portal back home. Trust me." Suuichi held his hand out to me. I took it and nodded. We stepped through. It tickled and dropped us as though we'd stepped off a curb into a dark alleyway. Once everyone was through, the portal closed as if it'd never been there.

"That was cool." I stated and smiled. It actually had been pretty neat, if not weird. Suuichi laughed. We bid everyone good night and headed home. I was surprised to find the alleyway we'd stepped out into wasn't too far from the house. Once safely inside, I breathed in deeply. "It almost feels like it's been weeks since I was here."

"Only two days."

I winced. "What did I miss?"

"I excused your absence from work. You have the flu." His eyes sparkled with mischief. "In fact, it would be no surprise if I contracted it as well."

"Ah, I see." I smiled at him, relieved that I had him. I couldn't have faced this kind of life without him. That realization was almost enough to take my breath away. When did I come to depend on someone other than myself? It didn't matter. I was just happy I had someone to lean on other than Keiko.

**…..**

I woke in a cold sweat. My sheets were clinging to me. I looked around my room. My eyes found the reason for my disturbance. Two glowing red eyes glared at me through my bedroom window. A figure stood in the tree. I shivered and reached for the lamp. As soon as my room was bathed in light, I looked back. He was gone. I threw the covers from my legs and darted from my room. I reached Suuichi's door and drew up short. I stared at his door, suddenly not sure what to do. Fear and panic had led me here. I was pretty sure the figure in the tree had been this Hiei person I'd heard about. He was friends with the others, so he wouldn't hurt me…right? Well, with the exception of breaking my hand. I raised my hand to knock only to drop it. I repeated the motion several times before burying both hands in my hair.

"Just come in, Nariko." Suuichi's voice came from the other side of the door. I opened the door slowly and stepped inside.

"How did you know?"

"Your energy flares when you're upset." He sat up and patted the mattress. I closed the door and crossed the room. I ignored the fact that I was rather indecent wearing just a t-shirt and underwear. I crawled up beside him and curled up beside him. He settled back down and wrapped his arms around me. "What's bothering you?"

"I woke up to see someone in the tree. Glaring at me with glowing red eyes."

He sighed tiredly. "That would be Hiei. Try to ignore him."

"I kind of figured after my panic led me to your door."

"He knows you are not to be harmed. Like Keiko, you are protected and untouchable."

"I'm sorry for waking you."

"You didn't wake me. I couldn't seem to sleep."

"What kept you up?"

He fell silent. I shifted and looked at his face. I caught the rare unguarded Suuichi. Pain and sorrow was etched deeply into his face. "Memories."

I felt my heart clench for him. I knew what he was remembering. I didn't want him to feel it anymore. That's what possessed me to rise onto my knees and kiss him. He sighed into my lips and pulled me close. I felt it when we both gave in to one another. Our hands wandered each other while our tongues danced frivolously. I pealed my shirt off and threw it to the floor. I slowly pulled his pajama bottoms off and was pleasantly surprised to find that he didn't wear underwear beneath them. I tugged my underwear off and leaned back over him, kissing along his jawline. I settled over him and reached between us to sheath him with my hand. I stroked him slow and gently. His eyes fluttered as he groaned. His lips found my breasts. I teased him with just barely pushing onto him before pulling away. Each time, his eyes flashed at me hungrily. I knew he was allowing me control this once. I pushed onto him and positioned myself on my knees before slowly impaling myself on him. We both made sounds of pleasure as I slid all the way down on him. I sat on him in the swath of moonlight. The way it caught his red-hair made it look alive and almost as if it was fire. I reached and touched his cheek. He turned his face to kiss my palm. My heart swelled as I sat there, fit snugly onto him. I set my left hand on his chest and rose slowly until he almost slipped out of me. I then fell back onto him. I bit my lip and repeated the motion. His hands found my hips and urged me faster. I conceded to his will. I rotated my hips, gyrating against him. We set a slow, sweet, torturous pace. I stared into his bright green eyes while I made love to him. I didn't screw him. And I don't think I ever would again. I wanted to etch myself inside his heart for eternity. There in his room, in the moonlight, while I made love to Suuichi…I felt more alive than I'd ever felt before. He took control and rolled us over so that he hovered over me. He pulled my hand up to his face and kissed each fingertip while he thrust deep inside of me. He then pressed his lips to mine and kissed me breathless while our hips rose and crashed like waves against each other. I felt my release building and when it rushed me, I cried into his lips. He thrust a few more times before he filled me with his blindingly hot seed. He moved to pull out. I locked my ankles around him and pulled him back flush with me. We parted from our kiss to pant. I pulled his head to my chest and ran my fingers through his hair as he'd done for me when I was upset. He sighed and rested his cheek against my breast. It wasn't long before I fell asleep cradling him. As I drifted off into sleep, I could have sworn I heard him whisper something that I didn't catch.

* * *

_So...yeah. More smuttiness. Hahaha! I'll be updating this again in the soonish, nearish future! Working on SPtL's next chapter and then will work on the next chapter here! Thanks for your support! Let me know what you think!_

**_Erika Hearken_**


	11. A Life So Changed

**E.H.**

_This chapter took me SO LONG to write. But, the ending was worth the wait in my opinion. I'm sorry for the long updates guys. Life sucks sometimes with work and inspiration fleeting and very fickle with me. I'll be writing here and then Shizuru speaks inspiration and I have to go write it before I lose it and then something else happens to distract me from that. But at least I have a few fictions to jump between. _

_Anyways! I'm rambling and I know it. Thank you for all the reviews guys! I really appreciate them! Helps me keep confidence in my writing and continuing moving forward._

* * *

**A Life So Changed**

I slowly opened my eyes to the sunlight slanting across my face. I yawned and began to roll over. I stilled as Suuichi moved to pull me tighter against his bare chest. I woke up spooning with Suuichi. I blinked as I stared across the room. A slow smile made its way across my mouth. I disregarded movement at the moment in favor of savoring the morning.

"You smell divine." He murmured in my ear. I rolled over and looked into his green eye. He had one cracked open to look at me while the other was still shut.

"You look divine." I retorted and turned in his arms to face him. "Did you sleep well?"

"Very well." He stifled a yawn and kissed my nose.

"I'm surprised you didn't wake me to train."

He stilled. By the way his body stiffened around me, I knew I'd struck a chord. "No. There will be no more training." He moved, sitting up and away from me.

I sat up and held the sheet to my chest. "Because of what happened?"

"I'd think it rather obvious."

"I think I can handle it better."

"No."

"Suuichi…"

"No, Nariko. I won't ever see you comatose like that on my floor again. I won't allow it."

I stared at his back. I bit my lip. I'd scared him that badly? I moved and pressed against his back, draping my arms around his shoulders. "I'm right here."

He sighed and raised a hand, settling it over mine. "I know."

"Then what are we supposed to do on this day?"

He moved to stand and turned to face me. "I believe we should start with breakfast. Don't you?"

"That sounds like a good start."

**…..**

The day to return to work came rather quickly. We both were over our 'flu'. The week flew by with the mundane. We worked, we ate, we watched stupid mindless sitcoms, and often times found ourselves in the same bed. I found it hard to sleep without him. I tried to sleep alone, I really did. But either he came to me or I just gave up and wound up in his bed. I didn't attempt to bring up training again. It was a sore subject that he bristled at. I, however, hadn't given up. Unknown to him, I still pushed and poked at that abyss inside me. There was something…alive about it. Every time I poked or prodded it, it fluctuated in response. I had this strange feeling that something was sleeping, dormant inside me. By the next week, I was growing impatient with it.

I sat in my room while Suuichi was off with Yusuke on a small 'case' that Yusuke had come across through his ramen shop fronted detective gig. When I'd learned that the ramen shop Yusuke ran was actually a cover for his undercover detective for the supernatural job, I'd laughed. I'd always felt like his ramen shop was a bit odd. He had the strangest hours and would close at the weirdest times. Now I knew why. I sank into the abyss again. I toed its edges and finally decided I would try plunging head-long into it. I'd never really know what it was capable of until I tried. I started slow and began to head into it slowly, one foot at a time. When I was waist deep within the dark abysmal water, I felt it. It surged in recognition of me. A whisper shuddered over me. It told me without words to let myself submerge inside of it. I took a deep breath and sank in past my head. The moment I was completely under, I felt a tidal wave of pins and needles before I slammed into myself with such force that I fell from my bed. I hit the floor with a loud thud. My eyes flew open, but I wasn't looking at my room. I was looking around a large forest. I was on my feet suddenly and running. I knew this scene. I'd been here so many times. There would be someone chasing me. I looked back. I saw them then. For once, I _saw them_. They were dressed in uniforms with odd colors of hair. They shot energy blasts at me. One clipped my shoulder and I ran harder. I saw the cliff's edge coming up. I didn't hesitate. I threw myself off. This was new; I'd never seen this before. I hit the water with such force that I couldn't think to kick in any direction. It took me forever to find up. When I did, I swam for the edge. I clambered up the side of the cliff and found a small cave. I ducked inside and panted. I'd escaped.

I looked around and found the small tunnel that would lead back away from here again. I entered in, knowing the different catacombs within this tunnel. They were eight in all and they each led to a different place. If those bastards ever learned one, they'd have a hell of a time navigating all the rest. Each was a honeycomb within itself. I chose the forest tunnel outside the mountains. It took me a day to traverse the tunnels. I reached the forest and carefully exited into the dense wooded area. I would not be found by that asshole, Yama again. He was severely determined to kill me this time. Ha! He could try, damned bastard. I traversed the forest for days. I really didn't care if I took my time. I came upon a scene that made me pause. Two men were looting a sleeping band of bandits. The irony struck me as funny. I watched in silence. The one male caught my attention. He was a silver fox. Rare. Very likely the last of his kind. He was either incredibly cunning and intelligent or completely idiotic and suicidal. He stopped and looked in my direction. His eyes locked on mine and in that moment, I lost. I knew I was a lost cause. His golden gaze heated instantly as he looked over me. I ignored the bat-demon who paused and looked at me and his friend before rolling his eyes.

Months passed. I was there inside his den, lying naked atop him. My hair was splayed out over us. He told me stories of his latest steals and his goals to be the most well-known thief in all of Makai. I knew he'd be. I could feel it in my bones. I never shared with him what I was or what I had a hand in. I would roam away from the den when he was out and away. I would speak with rogues who desired the fall of Yama. Whispers traversed the Makai. Plans that I was making. I wanted to end the Spirit World King myself. He'd had quite the hand in too many downfalls when it came to me. I held a grudge beyond reckoning. When Yoko came back and told me of a mutinous leader of rogue demons, I'd listened to him warily. He told me that he sought this one out. If he could find them, he could steal their title from them. I wanted to tell him it was me. I wanted to spill everything to him as he had always done so to me. But I couldn't. I couldn't ever tell him and see the look of betrayal he'd cast upon me. So I always encouraged him to find this demon and end them. I had no doubt that someday he would find it was me. On that day, I'd more than happily allow him to end me. For I hoped, I'd have Yama's head on a platter then. I had my vision then. He would seek out this rogue demon coordinator. He'd find me…lying in a pool of my own blood. I would be dead, he would mourn me. Then his heart would harden. He would become the bandit king he so desired to be. He'd become ruthless and cold to the world. Then he would be hunted. As I was. He'd resent Yama almost as much as I did. I told him vague details but he brushed them off. I did as well. I ignored my visions. I shouldn't have. I laid with him that night, worshipping his body as he did mine. I told him to be careful and cautious. He'd been gone for maybe a few hours before they attacked. The bastards of Yama's. The Spirit World Defense Force found me. I ran. I ran and ran the same path toward that same cliff. I never reached the cliff this time. They cut me off and surrounded me. I howled in rage, cursing Yama with my dying breath. I knew Yoko would come. This had been pre-set, I knew. As I died in a pool of my own blood, I expelled my spirit back into the vortex that had created me. I'd not forget this. Never would I forget or forgive. Yama's head would coat my hands with blood one day…

I gasped air into my lungs like a fish out of water. I looked around and found my room's comforting walls again. I sat up quickly. I _felt_ the flash back this time. I recalled every detail, every emotion, everything. It left me shaking. I pushed to my feet and wandered down to the kitchen. I drank down glass of water after glass. I had a strange feeling in my gut. I looked outside and saw Hiei glaring down at me from the roof of the greenhouse. Instead of shrinking back, I glared back. I flipped him off. I watched him snort. No. I heard him snort. Through the glass as if I'd been outside. Something about that flash back had…changed me. I couldn't place it. But I didn't feel normal anymore. I turned my back to the window, ignoring Hiei. I headed back up to my room. I set the glass of water on my dresser and sat on my bed. I ran my hands over my face, suddenly feeling very tired. I laid back and fell asleep instantly.

**…..**

Something poked me repeatedly. It was growing a little too annoying for my taste. I rolled over to escape it. It persisted and moved to my back. I rolled and grabbed the wrist of the person poking me. I glared up into amused brown eyes. Yusuke grinned back at me. I rolled my eyes and shoved his hand away.

"What do you want?" I grumped, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

"Sheesh, that time of the month or somethin'?"

I snorted. "No. You woke me up by poking me."

"Yeah and?"

"It was annoying." I looked past him to Suuichi. He shrugged at me as though to say, 'what can you do?' I looked back to Yusuke. "How'd the case go?"

"We were asked to find a cat." His eye twitched. "And when I say cat, I mean a cat-woman demon."

I smirked. "Sounds like you didn't like the mission much."

"She licked me!" Yusuke pointed to his cheek. "I'd say it was freakin' hot if I didn't have Keiko!"

I laughed and whistled. "Good thing you said that or I'd have to tell on you."

"Hey! Gimme a break!"

"I am."

"Yeah, yeah." Yusuke shoved his hands in his pockets and turned. He looked at me with an odd look. "You feelin' okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're…energy's off." He shrugged. "But what the hell do I know?"

Suuichi led Yusuke out. I sat on my bed in a slight daze. It was off? Huh. Weird. I didn't make much of it. When Suuichi returned, he looked at me with _that_ look. I stood up and moved over to him. I pushed up onto my tip toes and nibbled his neck, just below his jawline. We both froze simultaneously at my action. I'd never done that before, in that fashion. He recognized it and I did too. I sank back to my feet and stared at him confused. He looked into my eyes deeply. He was looking for her in me, I could tell. I moved past him. I felt him follow me but I ignored him. I pushed open the door to the bathroom and stepped inside. I grabbed my toothbrush and began to brush my teeth. He came up beside me.

"What was that?"

"A nibble."

"Nariko, answer me. What were you doing while I was gone?"

"I was sitting around."

"You tried to train on your own."

I spat into the sink and rinsed my mouth. I turned to face him. "Yes, I did. I had to try once more."

"You know I said no! And to try without me around no less!"

"Suuichi, I had a flash back." I stated softly. He stopped and fell silent.

"And what did you see?"

"In a nutshell…everything. Just quickly and condensed." He waited. I rubbed my neck as I felt some tension gather there. "I don't know, I just…I guess I really was her. But I'm not her anymore."

"No. You aren't. You are Nariko. But just knowing, is relieving."

"Yeah…" I looked away. Maybe for him. I felt rather unbalanced now. "I really think it would be best if I kept poking at this, training. Maybe I'll get the hang of it."

He leaned in the bathroom door. "I don't feel comfortable with this idea."

"Why?" I dropped my toothbrush back into its holder. "Doesn't it make sense for me work with this and learn to control it?"

"And if you can't control it? What if instead, _it_ controls _you_?"

I had a long stare-off with Suuichi. Stare-offs with Suuichi were like stare-offs with walls. You lost. Every time. I tore my gaze away and glowered at the wall. "Can't we find a compromise on this?"

"Perhaps if I thought that a good idea, than yes. However, the truth is that I don't desire to take the risk."

I held my hands up in surrender. "I don't want to argue over this."

"Agreed." I was relieved when he dropped the subject. We exited the bathroom. Once our feet hit the landing at the bottom of the steps I made a cry of surprise. Perched in the window was Hiei. His eyes flashed at me in obvious disgust. Instead of surprise, Suuichi greeted him. "Hiei."

Hiei tipped his head toward Suuichi in what translated was his form of communication. His bright vermillion eyes darted at me pointedly before returning to Suuichi.

"Nariko, would you mind taking a seat in the living room? Hiei and I have some things to discuss."

I wasn't comfortable with it, but I didn't argue. I knew how to take a hint. I took a seat on the couch and flipped on the TV. I ignored the low tones coming from the kitchen area. At least until something shattered. I ran to the kitchen quickly. I dodged glass shards and looked askance at Suuichi. His face was open with shock. He recovered and stooped to begin cleaning up the mess.

"Are you okay?" I asked, kneeling to help him.

"Yes. Sorry about that. Please, you don't need to help me."

"Hn." I looked up at Hiei who stood a little off from us. "It's your call fox. But know that the longer you keep up this pathetic act, the longer you expose yourself." He sneered at me before he was gone. I could have sword I'd seen him leave through the same window, but I wasn't sure. I turned back to Suuichi. His eyes were glaring at the window.

"Suuichi?"

He shook his head and carefully finished picking up the glass shards. "It's nothing you need to concern yourself with."

I frowned and grabbed his elbow lightly. "_Talk_ to me." Green eyes flashed to my hand before narrowing and raising to my eyes.

"It isn't of your concern." His voice was so cold that I withdrew with a shock. I watched him walk away, out of the kitchen. I blinked, wondering what the hell I did to piss him off. I swallowed and headed for my room. I closed my door behind me and sank onto my bed. I let my eyes slide shut and felt the stirrings of anger and frustration at a certain red-haired man. I ground my teeth and tucked my legs up onto my bed.

I took several deep steadying breaths before I sank into the meditative state that helped me reach for my so called 'spirit energy'. I moved past the reel of images, memories with ease this time. I reached that same zone where I'd submerged myself before. I took a long steadying breath before I forwent wading into the dark pool. I dove head first. I felt like I was falling and waited for the jarring motion of hitting the floor to wake me up. It didn't come. Instead, I settled at the bottom of the vast dark lake. I looked up and gasped. I could see my room easily. It was like a full spectrum vision. But what made me suddenly nervous was the way the room moved as if I was lying down on my bed. I wasn't in control of my body though! I felt fear zing through me before a bright light coming from my right blinded me. I threw my arm up and blocked the light out before I turned toward it. The light dulled and I dropped my arm only to halt all breathing and movement. Standing before me was the very woman from my dreams. She was…corporeal though. She looked at me as if confused before she moved closer to me. I fought the urge to step back.

"_Why are you here?"_ She asked with a frown.

"I think that's my line." I returned her frown.

"_I do not understand."_

"That makes two of us." She suddenly looked up. I followed her gaze and the sight of Suuichi entering the room and crossing to me filled the reflective surface above us. I moved to reach toward him.

"Nariko?" He asked, his voice sounded like it was wavering through the space and time. I blinked and tried to answer him.

"_It is of no use. He will not hear you."_

"Nariko!" He cried, the vision wobbled as he shook my body. I saw the fear flash in his eyes.

"What is this place?" I asked her, turning to her. I wanted out. I didn't want to be here anymore.

"_This is the void; the pseudo space we occupy while not within a shell."_

"What? What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" I snapped. "I'm _you_ reincarnated! Aren't you supposed to help me or guide me or something?!"

She looked as confused and conflicted as I felt. _"I have never been reincarnated. We are not made of such essence."_

"What does that even mean!?"

"_It means,"_ She began exasperatedly, _"if you are part of us, then you are not a soul bearing being. You are of the communion."_

I opened my mouth only to feel like my body was being shred to bits. I fell to my knees screaming as the water like substance rocked and swayed like a storm was throwing it around. She looked scared before she faded away. I didn't care. I could only feel the excruciating pain that ricocheted around my body. I slammed my eyes shut against it all. The moment I did, the ground beneath me opened up and I slammed into something with such force I couldn't breathe. My eyes were wide open and I could see my room. I sat up with an audible gasp that felt like my lungs hadn't worked for years. I could see Suuichi dart back to my side.

"Nariko! What the hell happened to you?!" For Suuichi to curse…mean he was seriously freaked. I gulped air down desperately before scanning my body for the torn flesh I was dead certain I'd find. Unmarked, my flesh mocked me. I threw myself off my bed and paced quickly, grasping my hair with both hands.

"So fucked up…so fucked up…" It was all I could say. I couldn't think. Hell, I was just now _breathing_. Suuichi moved before me and halted me with a shake.

"Nariko, speak to me!"

"WHY!?" I exploded. "Why should I?! You won't talk to me! Feels good, doesn't it?!" I shoved him away and backpedaled from him.

He stared at me with a strained expression. I leaned back on the dresser and crossed my arms before I looked back at him after several long minutes. The tension between us was obvious. I sighed and closed my eyes in regret.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blown like that. You didn't deserve that."

"No. I didn't. But you didn't deserve the way I shoved you away earlier either." He mirrored my regret. He moved a step closer, asking me with his eyes for permission to come even closer. I nodded and he reached out, pulling me into the warm circle of his arms. I sighed and leaned my head on his chest.

"I found that place again." I softly explained. "This time…I met her. Harui. I think. She…she said some things that really confused me and I…I don't know what to make of it all."

"She spoke to you?"

"Yes. But it was like she was confused by what I said. She said something about being _'part of the communion'_ and not a soul…"

Suuichi pulled back and frowned at me. "Part of the communion? That hardly makes any sense."

"You're telling me." I groused without any energy.

"I'm highly concerned for you, Nariko. I really wish you would cease this attempt to keep toeing the edges of what could potentially harm you. I don't like it."

"You _know_ who you are, hell…_what_ you are. I know nothing about myself except that I'm an enigma to pretty much everyone." I sighed, staring into his emerald eyes. "I want to know who I am."

"I know who you are."

"Then tell me so I have some damn idea."

"You are Utsuda, Nariko. You are a strong woman with the weight of the world on her shoulders. You're stubborn, willful, proud, and extremely intelligent." Suuichi smiled, reaching to tuck some of my hair behind my ear. "And you have but to ask it of me, and I'll pick up part of that burden and carry it for you."

I bit my bottom lip and moved up to him. I reached my hands up and cupped his face in my palms. "I don't know how I'd face any of this without you."

Suuichi bent and captured my lips in a sweet kiss that left me weak. I could swear that my knees were going to falter. I pressed into him and he cradled my head in one hand while he held me sturdy with his other hand. He pulled back so we could breathe and I stared into his face. What I saw there made my heart skip a beat. My eyes widened a bit. I'd seen this look before. It was always in those stupid movies where the man chases the woman down to tell her that he's always loved her and never wanted to let her go. He'd look down at her the same way Suuichi was looking at me then. I couldn't breathe for a moment. He then stepped back and his face went back to neutral.

"I am planning to do some grocery shopping. Would you care to join me?"

"Y-yeah." I nodded and turned away, trying to sort through my emotions. I caught his reflection in the small mirror I had on my nightstand. He must have either forgotten it was there or didn't realize it was. His face looked like he wanted to say something but just couldn't. The tortured expression was something that I couldn't explain as he finally turned and left the room. I turned and watched the door shut silently. I trembled as I found myself unable to process any of this. I changed into some comfy jeans and a top, throwing on my jacket. I quietly made my way downstairs to meet him in the foyer of the house. I slid my flats on. As I was holding up my right foot to slide the other flat the rest of the way on, Suuichi cleared his throat.

"You may wish to wear your rain boots."

I looked up through my bangs with a frown. I glanced out the side window. "But it's sunny with only a few clouds…"

He smiled knowingly before shrugging. I followed him out with an eye roll at his back. Some men. We walked to the grocer. As we walked, his hand snuck over and took mine. I blinked down at his fingers as they laced through mine. I felt a surge of power go through me. I wasn't sure why, but holding his hand made me feel better; like I could take on the world. I smiled softly to myself and looked back up in the direction we were walking. We spent a little over an hour in the grocer. We walked back toward the house, each holding a couple bags in one hand and joined together with the other. A low rumble rolled across the sky and I looked up. Rain began to pour over us. I blinked in surprise. Suuichi chuckled beside me and I snapped my eyes to him with an incredulous look.

"You cheated!" I accused.

"How so?" He smiled at me.

"You read the news before we left, didn't you!"

"No, I did not. I merely noted the direction of the clouds and the front moving in."

I pouted. "I'm getting soaked."

"Then run." Suuichi tugged me lightly before he started running, pulling me along. I stumbled at first to keep up before I found a pace just a little behind him. As we ran, I couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably at the ridiculous situation. We jogged up the path to the house and fell inside laughing. Suuichi closed the door; his shoulders moving with his mirth filled laugh. I leaned on the wall, kicking off my soaked flats. I was thankful that I didn't wear socks with them. He kicked off his shoes and we looked at each other smiling. His smile melted slowly as he stared at me. I felt my own react similarly. The grocery bags he had in his hand hit the floor with a dull thud as he stepped up to me, pressing me against the wall more. I looked up into his gaze, watching the way his eyes darkened as his pupils dilated with desire. I felt my own hand go slack and faintly heard the dull thumps of them colliding to the wood floor. His hands raised to hold my head by my cheeks.

"You're beautiful, Nariko." He breathed before his lips lowered to mine. I lifted myself onto my toes to meet his kiss. I wrapped my arms around him as he pushed me further on the wall. His right hand slid down my side to my thigh and pulled my left leg up to hook on his hip. I obliged willingly as I grasped him firmly while throwing my other leg up with the other. He held me there effortlessly with the wall for some support. Our lips danced sinfully together before his trailed a blazing trail down my jaw and neck. I moaned unabashedly. His tongue swirled patterns on my skin that made my pants suddenly feel too tight and too warm. I could feel his desire begin to press into me. My eyelids fluttered as he suckled on my neck, no doubt leaving a mark behind. I found myself not caring in the slightest. He slid us down the wall so that I was settled on his lap while he knelt on the floor. No words were exchanged, there wasn't a need. His mouth finally found its way down to where I wanted it to be right then. He gripped my shirt with his hands and tore the t-shirt open from the bottom to the top. He shoved the fabric aside and pulled my bra down enough to lave at my chest. I arched into him, feeling my breath become quicker and harder to control. My jeans were suddenly peeling down my legs. I grasped his shirt infuriated at the offending object keeping his toned body from my sight. He responded by lifting it off, tossing it away without care. I ran my hands over his chest, loving every flex and smooth plane my fingertips brushed over. I leaned my head back against the wall as he touched me in the most intimate place. He leaned forward and placed his lips to my ear.

"I apologize for this…but I simply cannot wait any longer." I didn't bother asking as his manhood slid inside me. I felt myself sheath him with such a strong sense of satisfaction that rolled over us both. Once he completely filled me, I sighed and smiled.

"I feel like I'm home." I whispered with my eyes closed. He didn't move and I lifted my head to look at him unsure if I'd struck a nerve or said something wrong. He stared at me before his face lit up with a dazzling smile.

"You'll always be home here." He stated softly before he pulled almost completely out before sliding back in. I moaned and rocked my hips to the rhythm he set. I found myself needing more and I told him such. He did as I asked and pressed into me harder and faster. My breath mingled with his as we began to lose ourselves. His thrusts changed into something more primal, less coordinated and I knew he was reaching his climax. I pulled him to me, enjoying just the feeling of him inside of me. I felt my own building. He made a strangled cry and leaned heavily on the wall with one hand planted beside my head. He panted heavily and leaned his forehead against my shoulder. His hair tickled my chest and arm. He slowly regained himself and then made a noise of frustration, smacking the wall harshly. I jumped at the change and looked at him. "I'm sorry, Nariko…I can continue this soon. I should have thought of you before I—"

I laughed and he looked at me sharply; clearly he wasn't amused by my outburst. I shook my head before I smiled and pulled him to me, kissing him tenderly. "I don't have to have an orgasm to enjoy you, Suuichi."

"I've _never_ left a lover unsatisfied." He replied darkly. I shook my head and kissed his brow.

"You're such a dork. I love you." It fell before I could think to stop it. We both froze; I'm pretty sure neither of us breathed for a good minute. His eyes slid to mine and I stared at him. I shivered, not from cold, but from the fear of him pulling away. I could take him walking away once, but if he walked away now…I wouldn't be able to handle it. This was a rejection I don't think I could have withstood. Suuichi's face softened then as he dug his hand into my hair.

"You have no idea how long I've longed to hear those words fall from your lips."

My eyes stung and I realized why as warmth pooled over my cheeks. I smiled and practically lunged at him, latching my arms around him. He returned the embrace just as tightly.

"I've fallen privy to the same emotions, Nariko. I do believe I've fallen rather far into love with you as well." I sighed heavily. "What is it, Nariko?"

"You say everything so eloquently and here I feel like a bowling ball in a China shop." I snorted.

"Ah, but isn't it wonderful that you can have such a well versed boyfriend? You can take me anywhere."

I leaned back and punched him lightly while I laughed. "More like _pretty_ boyfriend!"

"I am _not_ pretty." He groused and frowned at me playfully. I chuckled and kissed him lightly before untangling from him and rearranging myself into some semblance of order. "We have groceries to put away, Suuichi. Then I call the shower."

"You can all you desire, however you will be sharing said shower." He tossed over his shoulder as he retrieved the bags he dropped and carried them into the kitchen. I smiled, completely fine with that idea as I retrieved the bags I dropped. I ignored the fact I was pretty much just in my bra and jeans while I followed him. There was something I could honestly say thanks to the rain for…Suuichi butt cupped in his wet jeans was enough to make any girl swoon.

* * *

_You guys really deserved some sweet fluff. And honestly, it was time they admitted to each other how they felt. I mean come on! I wanted to kick them! But oh well. I loved the scene of them running in the rain. Seriously cute in my head. I wish I could just take a video of what I saw in my head for you guys to watch exactly how it went down in my head. I described it the best I could! Let me know what you think!_

_**Erika Hearken**_


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